Warning: Slash. RemusXSirius. Very bad, crude humour.
I do not own Harry Potter and never will (much to my disappointment)
S: Hello Remus!
R: What do you want Sirius?
S: I really think we should tell them!
R: No!
S: Why not?
R: How many times do we have to go through this?
S: Just James, Moony!
R: No!
S: Please.
R: No.
S: He'll figure it out anyway!
R: How!? We've been careful!
S: Yes but he has the map!
R: So? It doesn't show what people are doing!
S: But he'll know were not in the library!
R: And?
S: He'll know we're in a broom closet together!
R: James won't notice!
S: He's nearly caught us four times!
R: Nearly Sirius, not has, nearly.
S: Yes but what happens when he does catch us?!
R: He won't!
S: He'll be upset because we lied to him!
R: Padfoot…
S: And he'll be annoyed because we haven't told him!
R: Padfoot…
S: And I hate lying to him!
R: Padfoot…
S: Infact, I feel guilty for lying!
R: PADFOOT!
S: What?
R: We're not telling him and that's final!
S: Yes but why not?
R: The truth would probably scar him!
S: Why?
R: He'd know what we did on his bed!
S: True. At least he wouldn't think we're joking!
R: Yes but he nearly caught us on his bed!
S: Good! I wish he had caught us!
R: I don't.
S: I do.
R: SIRIUS !
S: What?
R: Move your hand now!
S: Sorry.
R: NOT UP!
S: You like it really…
R: Someone could see!
S: I know. Why don't you want anyone to find out about us?
R: Sirius…
S: Are you ashamed of me?
R: No of course not!
S: Why then?
R: Have you ever heard of a gay werewolf?
S: Nobody knows you're a werewolf!
R: Yes but it's the principal Sirius!
J: Hi guys! What're you arguing about now?
S: Hey James!
R: Hi James and Sirius is just annoying me.
J: Nothing new then!
S: Hey…
R: Well it's true!
S: James there's something we need to tell you.
R: Sirius don't you dare!
J: Go on Sirius.
R: No sex for a month!
J: How the hell can you stop him from sleeping around?
S: Well you see…
R: SPELLS! I know some spells!
J: Remus shut up. Go on Sirius.
S: Well you know the other night…
R: PADFOOT!
J: When?
S: When you were complaining about your bed.
J: Yeah?
R: It was Sirius and a girl.
S: No it wasn't.
R: Yes it was!
S: No it wasn't!
R: YES IT WAS!
S: Fine then. You know when we go to the library?
J: Yeah to do work…
S: Well we actually go to broom cupboards.
R: To help Filch!
S: Moony!
R: Padfoot I'm warning you!
J: Go on Sirius just ignore Moony, I am.
S: Right. Remember when I slept in Moony's bed?
J: Vividly.
S: Well I aren't scared of storms.
R: I am.
S: No your not.
R: Yes I am.
J: Sirius what are you trying to tell me?
R: Nothing.
S: Remember when we got a shower together?
J: You shower together everyday.
S: Yeah. It's because -
R: I'm afraid of water!
S: What?
J: Since when?
R: New phobia.
S: Right. Remember when you came into the common room that night?
J: And you two had been snogging because you go out?
S?
R!
S: How?
R: Crap.
J: I've known about you two for ages!
S: Since when?
J: Since you forgot the silencing spell.
R: You were asleep.
J: I wasn't.
S: You were.
J: And two straight guys don't spend three hours in a broom closet together.
R: …
J: Sirius would never EVER willingly help Filch.
S:D
J: Remus, you love storms and you went swimming yesterday!
S: So if you knew, why did you play along with our excuses?
J: I didn't want to get in the way.
R: Oh.
S: Are you annoyed, disgusted or upset?
J: Should I be?
S: Are you scarred for life?
J: Yes. You broke my bed.
S: Yeah. Sorry 'bout that.
J: I forgive you but my bed doesn't.
R: Good. We'll apologise to your bed Prongsy.
J: It'll survive.
R: Don't tell anyone else though! Not even Peter or Lily!
J: …okay.
R: Good.
S: So you're okay with us?
J: I haven't complained yet have I ?
R: So when did you figure it out?
J: Couple of weeks ago, I pieced it together.
R: I thought you said we forgot a silencing spell?
J: Yeah. You did, that's how I knew I was right.
S: Hey Remus?
R: Yeah Padfoot?
S: I WAS RIGHT!
R: About what Padfoot?
S: I said James would figure it out!
J: It was Lily really.
R&S: JAMES!
Excuses for excuses!
Review xD