Uzumaki Naruto carefully rubbed some more camouflage paint onto his face and eyed his reflection in the mirror critically.
His face, still slightly round with baby-fat, was covered in neutral greys and greens so that not even his whisker-like marks on his cheeks showed through. A black cloth covered normally sunshine yellow hair and his hitai-ate was tied loosely around his neck. His customary orange jumpsuit was traded for a more ninja-like outfit – a sleeveless shirt over a long-sleeved mesh and matching dark three-quarter pants. Naruto stared fiercely at his reflection, before smiling in appreciation at the end result. He was ready for this vital mission.
With a determined nod, Naruto slid out of his apartment window and scuttled silently down the wall into the night. He bounded down the empty streets without a sound, making his way to the rendezvous point. When he got there, two similarly dressed figures were already standing on the bridge.
"Naruto!" whispered Sakura furiously. "You're ten minutes late!"
Sasuke just glared at the blond, as if Naruto's very existence offended him.
"Sorry, sorry! Won't happen again, promise, Sakura-chan!" whispered Naruto with an apologetic grin.
Sakura let out an incredulous 'hmph' and moved on.
"Right. This retrieval mission, henceforth known as its shortened title 'Saving Kakashi-sensei,' will commence at oh-one-hundred hours, exactly eleven minutes away. Sasuke-kun will now go through the mission procedure," the only kunoichi said sternly.
Sasuke scowled. He hated when Sakura took over and ordered them about, which happened a surprising amount considering her often-debilitating crush on him.
"Thank you, Sakura. At exactly oh-one-hundred hours the three of us shall move out towards the target's residence, stopping at the previously discussed point a short distance away. Then, Naruto will create the distraction, I will move in and carry out the switch and Sakura will be the lookout. Once completed, we head back to base and determine whether the information gathered was worth it," Sasuke said lowly.
"Good plan, Sasuke-kun. Naruto, you are aware of what the distraction is?" Sakura asked, and at Naruto's nod, continued. "Then please outline the safety issues and what to do if things go south."
Naruto was uncommonly serious as he nodded to the direction.
"Thank you, Sakura-chan. This mission is personal to Team 7, and isn't sponsored by the village of Konoha or the Hokage. As such, if one member of Team 7 is captured on this mission by a Konoha ninja or citizen, he or she must not give up any confidential information. We all should have organised an alibi before coming here, and so, even under interrogation or torture, no one must give up a team-mate's name. Also, since we are in friendly territory, do not attempt to injure or kill if at all possible. Sakura-chan, as designated lookout, do you know how to warn us of incoming danger?"
Sakura nodded calmly and demonstrated a soft owl's hoot.
"That's all from me," Naruto announced quietly.
Sakura checked her watch and frowned nervously.
"It is almost time. Sasuke-kun, if you would please lead? Remember, triangle formation with Sasuke-kun as point."
Sasuke waited a few heartbeats before taking off in the direction of the target. Naruto and Sakura glanced at each other before also taking off in their team-mate's shadow. Minutes later, they arrived at their destination. The street was silent and deserted – as it should be at one o'clock on a Thursday morning. With a deep breath, the three genin looked at one another a final time before jumping to their stations. Naruto and Sasuke went to the same tree about ten metres from the target's tiny one-bedroom apartment, and Sakura jumped up to the roof of a building across the road. All three made sure they were suitably hidden from sight.
Naruto concentrated his chakra, two fingers of each hand crossed over to form a cross.
"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu," Naruto whispered. With a muffled pop and a wisp of smoke, an exact copy of one of the Hokage's chuunin assistants wobbled precariously on the branch. Sasuke slapped a palm over his eyes in almost physical pain as the real Naruto caught the clone just before it slipped and ruined their cover.
Naruto clenched his eyes shut and focused. This was the tough part in the plan; the chakra of the clone must be regulated exactly to look like the real chuunin's chakra, or else Kakashi-sensei will definitely notice.
"Alright," whispered Naruto tightly, his eyes still closed tightly in concentration. "Go send Kakashi-sensei on the wild goose chase."
The clone grinned a classic Naruto-grin and saluted jokingly, before dashing off to Kakashi's apartment. Moments later, a slightly frazzled looking Kakashi ran out, heading towards the forest to the east.
The mission went perfectly; Sasuke made the switch without even tripping an alarm and no one came around to interrupt. They took their prize back to Sasuke's house with ecstatic grins on all three faces.
"I can't believe that worked!" giggled Sakura, wiping strands of pink hair from her face.
"Well, of course it worked!" beamed Naruto. "After all, Uzumaki Naruto was on board!"
Naruto would have gone on further, however Sasuke whacked him over the head with the recently extracted mission target.
"Shut up, clumsy idiot. We still have more to do tonight," Sasuke murmured, ignoring the angry scowl Naruto was sending him.
"Yes, Sasuke-kun is right. To save Kakashi-sensei, we first need to know what it is we are actually saving him from," Sakura announced seriously. "However, we should probably keep out of possible sight of others. Sasuke-kun, do you have any ideas?"
Sasuke pondered the situation.
"Wait one second, I have to go get some items we may need. I have an idea."
Before the other two could ask, Sasuke had already disappeared. When he returned, he carried a flashlight and a bag filled with snacks. Naruto and Sakura followed the other boy through the hallway and into another room.
Unknown to the three conniving genin, someone was watching them. Hatake Kakashi is a jounin, and a rather skilled jounin at that. If he was fooled by an amateur effort such as that, he would be very embarrassed.
The grey-haired jounin-sensei leant silently against the window sill, a pleased smile hidden by a mask. The retrieval mission that his cute genin thought up, 'Saving Kakashi-sensei from his Addiction of Porn' was a success. However, hearing the giggles and startled gasps of his students as they read Icha Icha Paradise under a tent of blankets with a flashlight, made him think that his mission 'Get my Incredibly Difficult Team to Bond Without Looking Soft' was a success too.
A/N: Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed this quickie one-shot on our favourite Team 7. Slightly off topic, but I really think they need a 'Team 7' character filter, 'cos it was pretty tough to choose just two main characters… Anyway… Please leave a review!