Author's note: What you're about to see is something I think is universal among the male species--even if they're giant robots. Jazz is alive for this.

Please leave your maturity at the door.

.o

Exhausted

.o

Vroom--BANG!

The backfiring engine gave way to soft snickering on the hilltop. Four mechs sat in a circle, grinning like fools.

Bumblebee spoke, "Nice one, Ratchet!"

A pause.

"Sam, you can't even compete!" Ironhide's rough voice filtered through the laughter. Sam's response went unheard, his voice too soft to cross the distance.

Then...

"That's it. You're all goin' down!"

Vr-vr-vroom--POW!

A cloud of smoke puffed over the grass. The smell of fuel exhaust wafted on the wind.

"Primus, Jazz!" Ratchet waved a hand.

Another explosion--louder than the rest. It set off car alarms a mile away.

"That should take you all out," Ironhide said smugly.

Mikaela glanced up, annoyed. Nearby, the only mech not joining in on the fun stood silently watching the sky.

"Are they always this obnoxious?" she asked.

Optimus turned away from the stars. He knelt and regarded her on her level. "Oh, don't mind them. It's their favorite competition."

Mikaela drew a hand through her hair. She couldn't believe giant robots from another planet engaged in a contest so...human. It proved to her that, no matter the species, males were immature and sometimes disgusting.

"I guess you're just more mature than them. I mean--I don't see you over there."

"Oh," Optimus chuckled, "That wouldn't be fair."

She arched a brow. "Why not?"

VROOM-VROOM-poof!

Sam's laughter was the loudest that time. "Aw, Bumblebee! C'mon! I thought you were a muscle car!"

Optimus straightened, glancing down at Mikaela. "I'll show you."

She watched him stride up the hill, place his fists on his hips and speak to his men. Then he turned around, paused a moment and walked back down.

"Uh, you didn't do anything."

"Wait for it," he replied.

Suddenly, Cybertronian curses were shouted as four giant mechs scattered all over the hill.

"The stench! The stench!" Bumblebee cried.

Sam was left sitting there alone. Mikaela smelled faint diesel fumes in the air.

Optimus planted his fists on his hips and stuck out his chest in mock victory. Mikaela shook her head with a smile as Sam made his way down the hill.

"What gives? Optimus came up and everybody took off."

"Sam," she faced him, "Optimus just won a robotic farting contest."

"With an..." Optimus paused to search the internet, "...S.B.D."

And from far behind the hill, Ironhide shouted, "Someday, Optimus!"