Chapter Five
Peanut Butter and Jelly

"Stupid alpha male," Quil grumbled to himself angrily as he stepped off the porch of Sam and Emily's house. He knew he owed a lot to Sam, but that didn't give the guy the right to tell him how to handle every day life.

So he didn't like Claire having a boyfriend. No big brother wanted his six-year-old sister having a boyfriend. It was stupid and he just didn't like it, but that didn't mean he viewed Claire as anything other than a sibling. She was his imprint, yes. However, she was six. He held no romantic feelings for Claire whatsoever.

Sam seemed to think otherwise.

And it pissed Quil off more than anything in the world. He wasn't a sick pervert. He only saw Claire as a kid sister. The key word being kid. He hated how the guys sometimes made him feel like some sort of pedophile. If he had a choice on who he imprinted on you could bet on your life Quil wouldn't have picked a toddler.

Cindy Crawford. Hell yes.

Jessica Simpson. Why not?

Hell, he'd even take Ashlee.

The whole point that Quil was currently battling with in his head was that he didn't choose to imprint on Claire. Although, after four years of spending all of his free time around the care free, laughter filled little girl he couldn't imagine imprinting on anyone else.

Imprinting.

It sounded so . . . dirty. It made him feel dirty. It made him feel even dirtier when Sam had to point out how old Quil was and how old Claire was.

He knew how old he was. He knew how old Claire was. He knew he'd be old before she could ever know the truth about him. About them, but it was worth it. He could wait.

Quil shook his head in an effort to get Sam's condescending voice out of his head and climbed into his truck. He was careful to not slam the door behind him. He really didn't want to replace another car door.

Quil tapped his fingers absently as he headed towards Claire's school. After taking a quick glance at the clock he noted he had a good extra twenty minutes before Claire got out. But those twenty minutes flew by faster than he had anticipated. As soon as the kids poured out of the main doorway in front of the school, Quil got himself more comfortable in his seat as he leaned against his car door.

He had to wait another twenty minutes while Claire fraternized with Derek.

Ugh, it was so sickening. The way she fawned all over him and the way he just ate it up. He probably didn't even know how to spell his own name. Granted Claire probably couldn't either, but that wasn't the point!

The point was that Derek was stupid. And Claire couldn't stick with a stupid boy for long, could she?

Much to Quil's great surprise and pleasure Claire didn't stop at the flagpole to wait for her boyfriend. Instead, she held tight to the dangling strings of her backpack and trudged her way through the masses of kids to his beat up truck.

Quil instantly noticed the frown plastered to her face and the way she kicked angrily at an innocent pebble. He frowned when Claire bumped into a boy and didn't say thank you. That was not like his Claire Bear. Not at all.

He turned in his seat and reached over, pushing the door open for an irritable looking Claire and prepared himself for a rant.

"What's up, sweets?" Quil asked, attempting a smile.

Claire only gave a weak smile in return before throwing her backpack on the floor.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked sympathetically.

"Not really," Claire said, leaning her forehead against the window. "Can we just go home?"

"You don't want to stop for ice-cream or anything?"

"No thank you."

Quil nodded, pulled out of the school parking lot and headed for Claire's house.

The entire ride was silent except for the tiniest of yawns that occasionally came from Claire. He kept checking in his mirror to see if anything had changed and no, there wasn't. Her forehead was still smashed up against the cool glass and her mouth was still frowning and her eyebrows were still furrowed together in deep concentration.

If this mood that Claire was in was because of Derek . . .

Well, he had a really strong feeling Derek would be developing a fear of dogs real soon.

Claire hopped out of the car as soon as Quil came to a stop in front of her bright colored house.

"Quil?" She asked looking up at him as she squinted her eyes in an effort to block out the sun.

"Yeah?"

"Do you love me?"

"Of course I love you, you silly girl," he told her while he ruffled her hair and a little taken aback by her question. "You're like the little sister I always wanted."

She smiled up at him. "Okay because I love you too."

"Good. I'd be terribly heart broken if you didn't."

"Yeah," Claire said grinning. "I'm a heartbreaker."

Quil let out a bark of laughter as he pushed open her front door and entered into the cinnamon smelling house.

"Really? Broken any unsuspecting hearts lately?"

Claire nodded. "Derek's."

What?

It couldn't be. Could it?

"What was that Claire Bear?"

"I dumped Derek today," she repeated, confirming his happiest thoughts. Oh yeah, he most definitely loved this little girl. Why? Because she had the best brain on her shoulders and she used it to its fullest.

"Why?" Quil asked as he ushered her into the kitchen. He had strict orders from Sarah to feed her child or face consequences. He didn't know what those consequences were, but anything that meant he had to deal with Sarah more than necessary was torture.

"Because he's stupid."

Claire leaned up against the fridge and watched Quil usher around her kitchen, pulling items out of the cupboard.

"Well all boys are stupid," he said with a wink. "Where's the jelly, kiddo?"

"Mommy put it in the fridge," she told him as she successfully pulled the jar of grape jelly off the shelf and out of the refrigerator. "She likes her jelly cold."

Quil slid eight slices of bread out of the package and piled them on a paper towel. "So what did this stupid boy do?"

"Well, we were sitting at lunch today and I pulled out all my stuff that mommy packed. I ate my apple slices first and then I started to eat my peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

"The best sandwich ever!" Quil exclaimed, spreading peanut butter across four slices of bread.

Claire giggled and continued.

"Well, I took a bite out of it and then Derek said 'ew! What are you eating?' and I told him it was a PB&J sandwich and then he said that PB&J's were disgusting and that he couldn't believe I ate them."

Quil scoffed at the stupidity of the seven year old boy. He obviously didn't know good food if it bit him in the butt.

"So I told him that PB&J's were the best thing God ever invented. He said I was wrong. He said that video games were the best thing God ever invented."

Quil shook his head and slapped the peanut butter covered bread to the jelly covered bread and gently placed it on a paper plate.

"You dated one stupid boy, Claire," he told her, shaking his head.

"I know! I don't know what I was thinking!"

Quil picked up the butter knife and lifted it above the scrumptious sandwich. "Down the middle or triangles?"

"Triangles."

Quil cut her one sandwich into triangles and then cut his three sandwiches down the middle.

"So back to my story!" She said, hands on her hips. She looked so much like her mother when she did that it was frightening.

"Right! Back to the story."

"So after he said that stuff about his video games he said that I couldn't sit next to him if I was going to eat my sandwich. So I said that I preferred a peanut butter and jelly sandwich over his stupid face any day and that he should find himself a new girlfriend, because I was so over him."

"Rock on!" Quil exclaimed, raising his hand for a high five. Claire smacked her hand against his and grinned. "That's the best decision you ever made."

"I know. I can't believe I wasted all my time on him," she said as she grabbed her paper plate with both hands. Quil followed her to the dining room and pulled out a chair for her. "Besides, I'd rather spend time with you then Derek. At least you like PB&J's. And chocolate chip cookies!"

"Is there any other kind of food?"

Claire shook her head and bit into her sandwich. "No. Not really."

It was official. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were invented by God- just for Quil.

A/N: The End!

I hope you enjoyed this crazy, little story as much as I enjoyed writing it and reading all of the awesome feedback. You guys are hilarious and totally make my day!! P.S. If you guys found a million mistakes, I apologize! I only re-read once, because I feel horrible for the three month long drought!

I decided to not post an Epilogue, but I have decided to make a fic with an older Claire. I have no idea when I will post it (let's cross our fingers and hope for soon, yes?), but I'll do my best to get started on it. Only 18 more days of school and then I'll have more time to dedicate to FanFiction, which is really why it took me so freaking long to get this to you guys. I hope no one forgot about OPB&J!!

Anyways, thank you so much for sticking with me through the droughts and crazy Quil moments! I hope you guys liked this chapter! Let me know your thoughts! Just push that little button there at the bottom and type away! :)