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Title: A Gift For Evelyn

Summary: Juxtaposition AU. My little (belated) Christmas present for Evelyn. "Twas the night before Christmas, or perhaps somewhat after, when our heroines awoke to the sound of mech laughter..."

Rating: K

Warnings: none

Author Notes: This was meant to be posted on Christmas eve, but real life pushed it back. Still, better late than never, I suppose. X3

For Evelyn. My apologies for the 'squeezing' incident.


A Gift For Evelyn


'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

- Clement Clarke Moore,
The Night Before Christmas


'Twas the night before Christmas, or perhaps somewhat after,
When our heroines awoke to the sound of mech laughter.
Loud rumblings and grumblings rang out through the 'bay,
And a petulant voice growled, "Slag, no! Keep away!"
Evelyn and Cafei exchanged a glance most bemused
But hastened to see what had Ratchet so amused.
Atop one great table, his eyes filled with menace,
A familiar mech sat, lips pulled back in a grimace.
From helmet to foot, he was covered in ooze,
Something thick, something smelly, of various hues.
"Ratchet, what...?" stammered Evelyn. "Is that Red Alert?"
The ooze-covered mech grimaced. "Oh, shut it, you squirt."
Cafei sat abruptly, overcome by hilarity.
Red Alert glared at the small femme's temerity.
"You did this!" he hissed. "I know that it's true!
"I told Prime –I told him! I know it was you!"
Still rumbling softly, Ratchet stepped into the fray.
"Cool off, Red," he chided. "She's been here all day.
Now give me a tic. Let me get some supplies.
If you think it's bad now, sit and wait 'til it dries."
"You look like the swamp monster!" Cafei loudly snickered.
The mech's servos groaned, and his eyes paled and flickered.
Evelyn grabbed her friend's arm and helped her upright.
"You know, we should leave," she said, "Have a good night."
The two femmes retreated, leaving the mechs to their work,
And Evelyn listened as Sideswipe let out a soft 'snerk'.
I wondered,
thought Evelyn, why last night was so hazy.
Did you take us for
walkies? – 'What, you think that I'm crazy?'
The little femme laughed softly, shaking her head.
Like a fox,
she replied and climbed back up to bed.

End A Gift For Evelyn