A.N - New Story which was written by listening to Something Corporate's, Wait, which is where most of the ideas comes from. Lyrics are copyrighted to Andrew McMahon people!
Check the band out, constructive reviews welcome!
Enjoy. K/C ness.
Last One Home
I had lost my watch as I was running, so I had no clue what the time was. I had also lost my backpack, and considering how it had the bus times and my school stuff and my gift that was meant to be received that was pretty stupid. Although, as I could see the sun coming over the horizon, I smiled at the thought of finally being alone.
I dismissed the way in which I couldn't run far. I wanted to keep going but knew that my body would not allow me. I mentally cursed myself for all those years that I had spent watching TV and spending all those wasted hours doing nothing but eat snacks and making my body as it is today.
I guess you would have thought that now I was in High school, I would have got rid of my "baby fat". When I was younger, my friends, (well the ones I did have) and my mother always said I was big boned. Of course, I understood now what they were trying to say.
I just wish they would have told me that in the beginning, I was going to be this sort of manipulative fucking fat ass who would have no reason to emotional. But I guess here's the answer to everyone's questions.
I am.
Although, everyone knows that I hate insecure pussy twats and the person that comes into mind is Wendy Testaburger and although her body is fine as fuck and I would quite like to fuck that I would never have thought that I'd turn hypocritical.
But I guess people, high school changes you. I had become through with the tea parties, the talking to dolls, and although I still was racist, manipulative and constantly still had a dream of making a million dollars, I had become through puberty an insecure, spotty, fat constantly worried high testosterone teenager.
And that's what had worried me. When I was around 11 my mom took me down for a chat and told me that I was about to change. Back to me, change was me changing the channel on the TV and changing my snack. She told me all about the brief of the dreaded puberty word. I didn't take much of it and that point as I wanted to play with Clyde Frog and Kitty.
But now I realised what she was saying.
"It doesn't matter if you're the last one home son."
I doubt you would understand what that means, and I certainly did not understand at the time, but now of what happened, I understand. My mom was warning me that something was going to happen and that adolescent brought a whole mixture of emotions that sometimes got too hot to handle, such as love and sadness. I realised then. Everyone grew out of their childhood at their own pace and whatever adolescent threw at you; it was all going to be okay because at home meant you could finally grow up. It didn't matter. Haha. I guess everyone will be laughing now. During my confused state I had run out of there crying. Fuck you okay? I'm upset. I wiped some tears that had got astray and cleaned my eyes on my sleeve.
I wish mom was here now. Then this pain would go away. I sighed and decided to walk now on than to run. I was heading to my favourite place in the world. This was where I planned all my master schemes, my master plans, everything that was Eric Theodore Cartman and everything that was laid bare on this spot.
This was the spot that I could go where no one would fucking piss me off. Well, I guess my bedrooms the 1st place. It has a TV which will be enough on the matter.
My eyes glazed over the spot quickly and I soon realised that I didn't need to bother. No one knew about this place. Except for him. I watched myself seize my body over the grass as I sat down at my spot.
The highest hill in South Park. The surroundings was completely overthrown by bushes and branches, and because I was the only one that had the guts to actually threaten Token's dad for a chainsaw, I managed to get my way up here.
I did put a "DANGER – MANBEARPIG" sign up where the entrance was so hopefully no-one would come up here.
The sunset was out. I liked the sunset. It reminded me of a happier time. The sunset should be everyone's favourite time of the day. It didn't matter what mood you were in, anger or sad, you could always come up here and display your thoughts to the sun.
I began talking to myself and the sun. During my younger years, I had learnt the art of talking to myself. It was self explanatory but I guess after years of doing it, it had become a sort of habit.
Stan said it was "Faggish".
I threw a rock down below and watched it hit some random car. I chuckled and smiled at my stupidity.
Before this happened, we used to all hung out. It was a happier time.
I was going to get my bag but then realised I had left if on the clearing when I was running. I cursed loudly as I needed a drink. My throat was dry. I sighed and began collecting my thoughts. The whole reason that I had become this whole emotional wreck was become of him.
I started muttering out my thoughts and I couldn't stop myself from shouting out loud,
"WHEN WILL HE BE DONE???"
I sighed angrily as I chucked another rock. Another horn beeped. I looked at the redness of the sky.
I needed answers. I needed clues. I didn't want to be this wrecked emotional teenager. I needed to be the boy I was 7 years ago. I was 16 now and as I podged my tummy, I couldn't bare the thought of my entire life being this way now.
I knew what it was though. It was become he was HIS best friend.
I wasn't his best friend. I was just a friend- heck I doubt I even was that! I threw more rocks at the ground. I didn't give two shits on what was going to happen. I was this angry. It was funny, because at the same time I wanted to laugh. The Cartman part of me wanted to laugh. Laugh at myself for being so silly and know that it would be okay if I just relaxed, took a few deep breaths and went to watch TV.
But I wasn't Cartman anymore.
I was the persona I was trying to hide all those years ago. I was trying to be someone I didn't want to be. I didn't want to change.
I wanted to wait.
Wait till everything was okay. And that, when I was ready, I would go about being Eric.
But no. I couldn't wait.
I again tried to get my anger out but failed miserably so instead threw another set of rocks. I would, like I said before eat my way out of my misery but I was sick of that too.
Sick of being Cartman.
I just wished that he would come up here and give me reasons. Because, as I opened my eyes again, I realised he was the reason why I couldn't go home yet.
Kyle Broflovski began an obsession to me. He used to be the reason why I would go to extreme lengths to take the piss out of him.
The only truth behind that was because I was fascinated by his life. I loved the fact that he had a happy family, well okay not a happy family he had a pretty fucked up mom. But a family nonetheless.
Kenny had word of this. He knew what I was doing. I had told him it was all part of a plan. I told him that because I was talking to animals, and doing fucked up things, I was going to be change when I was older. Kenny thought I was a retarded fuck up, doing all these things for Kyle's attention but I knew that when I was older, Kyle would remember me as some sort of legend.
That wasn't the case I presume. The case was that even when I didn't realise, I was going to have a crush on him when I got older.
It was a fucked up world.
Now I know what you're thinking, you probably think that I should have gone to Stan if I wanted some attention, and to be fascinated by a normal family because let's face it, the Marsh's was probably the most normal family in the entire town.
But no. I wanted Kyle. It was like an addiction. I didn't quite understand it myself.
High school was fine at first. I didn't change at all during my first few years. But then it got to the point where I knew that something had to be done about the fact that I had begun to show increasing attraction to the little redhead Jew which was the reason that I began to change.
I realised that I loved it when Kyle got mad at me.
I loved the fact that he had grown and styled his hair so that it was considered "emo" and that he wore glasses so that his hair wouldn't get in his face.
I loved his freckles.
I didn't realise that I would become insanely in love with him until it was all too late.
However, the day before the dreadful news, I had managed to come up here with Kyle and I had shown him my secret hiding place as a sort of starting point and turning point to our friendship. I had also gone to the liberty of trying to explain my feelings through poem.
There you are baby,
just waiting on the sun
just staring at the sky ,
said when will he be done
and i said there you are baby,
waiting on the sun
staring at the sky,
said when will he be done
when will he be done...
"I hate you Cartman, stop fucking with me okay? I'm going back down. Cartman, don't bother me with your little plan. Is Clyde watching with a camera or something?"
I guess I should have taken his response seriously instead of laughing loudly.
Now I had a response to that. I hoped Cartman had changed. It was Eric Cartman now.
I had heard the news of it just as I was about to make my move on Kyle by asking for tutoring. Kyle Broflovski, the guy I had fell in love with since I was younger, had fallen for someone else. Of course it just had to be super cool super normal super best friend, Stanley Marsh.
I marked out fuck you Stan on the ground with a stick. I felt better. It was a relief to know that I could write about him in so many ways and he wouldn't know.
I sighed and looked at the sky.
I guess it was time to go home. I guess I would always be "Cartman". Because, in some ways, you can never ditch your childhood. Childhood was your home, and I guess as I looked up at the sky, I was the last one to grow up.
I was trying to grow up. But he failed. My plan failed.
I sketched one more thing into the ground hoping that Kyle would come up here.
"My days are numbered here and I guess I'm the last one home…"