Is it possible?

One of my readers asked me a question and the more I thought about it, the more I realized there were probably a lot more people asking the same question. "How is it possible to love two people at the same time?" I decided to give the answer some serious thought and share it with all of you. The answers to questions about love, more often than not, come from painful life experience, which many of you are too young to have encountered yet. And so, perhaps by sharing my take on it, you may understand more about Bella, Jake, Edward, and why Ms. Meyers thinks it's all possible.

First, there are things about love that are out of our control. Being attracted to someone, the response they trigger is often involuntary. The majority of love, however, results from the choices we make. Imagine if you will, Edward had chosen not to return when he first ran from Bella's scent. Or if he had chosen to continue ignoring her instead of giving in and spending time with her. Consider Bella's choice that she would risk her life, just to be near him. It was indeed one of Bella's choices that led the three lovers to their crossroad. Bella chose to love Edward unconditionally. This included what he was, and anything he may do. Thus, when Edward left her, even though she thought he no longer wanted her, she still loved him. She chose to hang onto her love for him, and it very nearly killed her.

Then we have Jacob, who made the same choice of unconditional love for Bella. No matter how long it took, he could wait for her to heal. He would love her broken or whole. He only wanted her happiness. Love like that is very hard to resist. But Bella did, for a long time. Even as she grew closer to Jake, she continued to choose Edward, torturing herself and Jake in the process. However, another fact of life is that male and female can be 'just friends' for only so long. Sooner or later, one, the other, or both will cave in. It's biology, we can't help it. Which is right were Bella was when she had to go save Edward's life. If you recall, when the phone call interrupted their 'near kiss', Bella had still not chosen whether or not to love Jake as more than a friend.

That choice came later, when she was unprepared. As she stood on that mountain top, feeling Jake's pain, she was also desperate for his safety. In Jake's young eyes, he was sure Bella would be happier with him. He was desperate for her to see that. Still, even as she asked him to kiss her so he would stay safe, Bella fought to continue choosing Edward. It wasn't until she got angry (and emotion very closely tied to love) that she was taken off guard. In that moment, she made the choice to love Jacob in the way he deserved. After all he had done for her, all the love he had freely given, did he not also deserve love? In the heat of battle or passion, choices become hard. Bella was bombarded by both at once.

And yet her choice about caring for Jacob did not change how she felt, how she had always felt, about Edward. Her love for him had not changed. It was older, deeper, and very different than the love she had for Jacob. She had a choice, but it was truly no contest. The choice to love someone unconditionally is very hard to undo. And she had no desire to undo it.

And so we have our three characters. We have Edward, who loves Bella more than life itself. By trying to give her that life, he wounded her in a way that another man tried to heal. As he said, "That's bound to leave its mark." We have Bella, who loves Edward more than life itself. While trying to survive his absence (for Charlie's sake, otherwise she would never have come back from her abyss), she is offered love when she feels unworthy of it. (She thought that's why Edward left; there was nothing about her to keep him.) And we have Jacob, who sees a beautiful person hurting in a way that is unbearable to witness. Truly hoping to heal her, he offers her all that he has, including his love. Sad, tragic circumstances that are no one's fault. Yet they are all responsible because it is all a result from their individual choices, none of which were easy.

This is generally the way it is with love. It is a powerful thing. Making the choice to love someone is not to be taken lightly. Continuing to make that same choice is what turns the spark of first love, into the fire of eternity.