Liar Liar

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.

Author's Notes: So now that I've finished Death Notes and nobodies, I'm going to finish Wish, but not before I type up this story I wrote in my notebook at the beach. Jim Carey is great inspiration. Lol

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Light lied, schemed, plotted and lied some more. He knew how to talk his way out of just about anything and everything. He convinced almost everyone that he wasn't Kira, but L knew better.

L sat with his knees hugged to his chest as usual and looked out a window into the starry night. He sighed. He liked the challenge Light posed, but he was tired of playing cat and mouse. He wanted to win this battle, but from the looks of things, he was most likely to end up dead.

'I find myself wishing that Light could not lie for a day. At least then he'd be forced to confess he was Kira.'

Somewhere in the heavens, a star burned out. Its fire travelled to earth and alighted over Light's sleeping figure.

Next morning…

"Light-kun. It's time to get up…" L said crouching over the younger male.

Light groaned and turned his back to the detective.

"Does Light-kun not want to get up to find Kira?" L asked thinking he knew the response.

"No," came the surprising answer.

"No?" L enquired curiously, "Why not?"

"It's pointless." Light grumbled half awake, then he realized the implications of his words. That didn't sound like Light Yagami at all. His mouth had moved on its own. Light threw the covers off him and stood from the bed.

"Shut up Ryuzaki, I'm awake, ok?" Light yawned and strode to the bathroom before L could say more.

'What just happened back there…?' He thought to himself as he stared into the mirror. He shrugged and proceeded to have a shower. He was probably just too tired to think straight.

L was mulling over Light's odd behaviour. "Pointless"? That wasn't like Light at all. If Light weren't Kira, it would mean he'd given up. Since Light was, without a doubt in L's mind, Kira, it was as good as a confession.

L was going to look into this matter meticulously. It could prove useful.

As Light walked out of the bathroom in a towel, L decided to experiment a little.

"How old are you, Light-kun?"

"Seventeen… You already knew that."

The detective nodded.

"Do you lie?"

"Of course," Light said before he could register his own words.

L looked him squarely in the eyes, "Very honest of you, Light-kun."

"Everyone lies!" Light amended hastily. What the heck was wrong with him today?!

L decided to stop there for now, but he pretty much assumed what might be going on.

Later…

Light sat at his desk pretending to look for leads on the case. His mind was on the morning's events. It seemed that he wasn't himself. His mind would think one thing but his mouth would say another. It was utterly frustrating.

L was looking over Light's shoulder as he hacked through various security programs to find secret information that would do no one any good.

"Ah, you hack well Light-kun, a great asset for gaining top secret information." L said trying to get a rouse out of Light.

The teen with auburn hair sighed and faced L with annoyance apparent on his features.

"For the millionth time Ryuzaki, I'm n…" he choked as the word stuck in his throat refusing to roll over his tongue. He closed his mouth and swallowed to try again. "I'm naaah… nnnnn…" The words refused to be said!

"You knooo," No use! "You knoweee…"

Light choked on his words again and coughed while clenching his fists at his sides. "I'm NO, NOOAA!" Light snapped his mouth shut and rushed out the door to HQ with all the team's eyes on him in bewilderment. L followed him with a slight smirk on his lips.

As Light rushed down the stairs, he jumped two to three steps at a time.

'Why can't I say that I'm not Kira?!' He thought desperately as he descended. Once outside the building, Light headed for a nearby public park where he could sit and clear his head.

Once there, Light plopped down on a bench huffing.

'I NEED to lie!' He cried in his mind.

"Alright, fine." Light drew a blue pen from his breast pocket and held it out in front of him.

"Think red. Red, red, red, red!" Light mumbled under his breath.

"Alright, the pen is reeeh… The pen is reeeooollll..." Again his tongue refused to cooperate with the lie.

"Damn it, the stupid pen is REEEE, REOLDARRUM, ReeeOYAL BLUE!" Light slammed his fists on the bench and the pen went flying over his head into the pond behind him.

"AGH!" He shouted out with his hands tangled in his hair pulling at his auburn locks in frustration. "I can't lie!" He half sobbed as he slouched in his seat letting his arms hang limp at his sides.

"Hello Light-kun."

"HOLY HELL!" Light swore jumping out of his seat and tripping backwards over the bench.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"NO!"

"That's a shame. What's the matter?" L asked feigning concern.

"I can't lie!" Light's eyes bugged at his words and he slapped a hand over his mouth looking up at L in horror.

L smirked invisibly. "Oh? Well that's noble of you."

Light glared up at the sleep deprived moron with hatred burning in his eyes.

"Should I be here?" L asked now grinning visibly.

Light tried to hold his hand in place, but nothing could stop the truth disease.

"Depends on how you look at it; if you're here I'm extremely uncomfortable because you could possibly get me to divulge information that would be deadly to my position that I'd much rather keep to myself. Otherwise you're just a pain in my ass. So no, you shouldn't be here!"

"Such blunt words…" L chuckled.

Light slapped both hands over his mouth this time, rose and ran for all he was worth.

"What are you running from Light-kun?" L called after him mockingly.

"YOU!" Light shouted back and continued to run.

L got up from his place on the bench. So Light couldn't lie. This meant L's victory, but not before he got to have a little fun.

"You can run, but you can't hide from me, Light-kun."

Sure enough, Light was cornered by L in minutes.

"Stay away from me!" Light pleaded scooting back and away from L on the ground.

"Why are you so flustered, Light-kun?" L said advancing on him slowly like a predator teasing his prey.

Light was thinking 100 mph. He had to calm down and think clearly. He could do it. He could talk his way out of this.

Light rose to his feet and recomposed himself. He took a deep breath and looked L in the eyes calmly.

"I'm not quite myself today." He said smoothly.

"So I've noticed." L said quirking a brow.

Light ignored the jest. "I'm not feeling up to standards today, and I think it's perhaps adequate a time to ask for the day off."

L nibbled on the end of his thumb thoughtfully.

"Are you sick?" He asked.

Light tensed. "Well no… But I'm stressed!"

"Is your sex life with Misa not doing well?"

"That has nothing to do with it! I'm stressed over the Kira case!" Light snapped back.

L's mouth quirked into another smirk that made Light's blood boil.

"Have you ever failed a class in school?"

"Physics in seventh grade… What does that have to do with anything?!" Light's pride had just been severely stabbed.

"Are you a virgin?"

"No. Ack!"

"How many people have you slept with?"

"Too many to count, but I only do it to look normal."

"Are you gay?"

"Asexual."

"Your priorities?"

"Me, my physical aspect, Justice, winning."

"Kira in a nutshell." L mused.

"No! Damn it L, I want the goddamn day off!" Light shouted throwing his hands in the air wildly.

"Alright Light-kun:"

Light's jaw fell open. Say what?! L was giving him the day off? For real?

"I've been wanting a day off myself, so we can take time off together." L mock smiled.

"I knew it…" Light grumbled.

L called HQ and gave everyone permission to take the day off. There were cheers heard in the background as he announced it. L hung up the phone and fixed Light with a stony glare.

"No more speed bumps, Light-kun. You and I both know you can't lie now."

Light gulped.

"Are you-

The dreaded question! Light shut his eyes and covered his ears trying to block the sound.

"Are you going to but me some cake?"

Light cracked open an eye.

"Huh?"

"Cake."

Light let his hands fall to his sides as he stared at the detective with wide and confused eyes.

"Uhh, sure I guess…"

They headed for the nearest pastry shop and Light bought L a cheesecake with whipped cream and strawberries on top. They sat at a little booth in the café as L ate.

"L, you're playing with me." Light said finally.

"True…" L said as he swallowed a mouth full of cake.

"You're really rubbing my face in this, aren't you?"

"Mmmm hmmm."

"I hate you."

L looked up at Light with a toothy grin.

"You are Kira, aren't you Light-kun?"

Light's mouth opened to contradict the statement, but it refused to do his bidding. The boy took a deep breath attempting to force his jaw to cooperate, but to no avail. He sunk in his seat.

"Yeeeeees…" He squeaked.

L watched him for a few seconds before grinning.

"Good, now have some cheesecake."