Naruto bolted from the kitchen at the first knock. Sasuke wasn't surprised to hear Sakura's voice. The clones had barely gone out. She must have dropped everything in order to get here so fast. That showed just how concerned Naruto's friends must be about him. Sasuke had to wonder how hard Naruto had worked to keep them at bay this long. Another female voice spoke up. Sasuke looked over to see a blonde girl enter just behind Sakura, followed by a young man who was so large he nearly filled the doorway. That had to be the one whose family used food pills. No normal shinobi would let himself get that big. Chouji, Naruto had called him. A member of the Akimichi clan, which wasn't really a clan according to Naruto. The young man was dressed rather formally for someone who wasn't part of a clan, with a red 'food' kanji emblazoned on the front of his gray chest plate.

"Are you crying? What happened?" the blonde girl demanded.

"He made me cut onions," Naruto whined. He scrubbed his hands over his teary eyes and winced when that just made them burn more.

Sasuke rolled his own eyes and turned back to the skillet. He had told Naruto to wash his hands as soon as he finished with the onions. Instead Naruto had rubbed the onion juice all over his face and used his bleary eyes as an excuse to not help any more. The onion juice was probably coated on the doorknob now, too.

"I don't even like onions!" Naruto added.

"Unless they're in ramen," Sakura scoffed.

"I don't eat onions in my ramen!"

"You do, too. They're green and long and get diced into those little green curls that are in every bowl Ichiraku serves."

"Oh. Well these are round and white and awful. He puts them in rice. Who puts onions in rice?"

"Ichiraku does."

"They do not!"

"You don't even know what you're eating when you order from there. And you call yourself their biggest fan."

"I don't go there for onions - I mean rice. I go there for ramen!"

"They put rice in the ramen."

"They do not!"

Sakura laughed. "You wouldn't notice if they did."

"I would, too!"

Sasuke wondered what age Naruto had regressed to. He could imagine the little blonde boy in that pregenin photo sounding the way Naruto sounded right now. Seven? Ten? There had been a blonde girl in that photo as well, and a brown haired boy with a round face who might be their third guest. Maybe they brought out the child in Naruto because they had been children together. Or maybe Naruto was already trying too hard and this was the result. Sasuke turned just as they trooped into the kitchen, so he saw the way the blonde girl flinched at first sight of him.

"You liar," she hissed at Sakura.

Sakura laughed.

"What?" demanded Naruto. "What's so funny?"

The brown haired man stepped around them and lifted his hands. He was holding four plastic packages that appeared to contain flat brown loafs of some sort. "I brought dessert," he said to Sasuke.

He hadn't even considered dessert. He didn't care much for sweets and Naruto hadn't complained about the lack since he had moved in with him. Then again, Naruto hadn't complained about anything Sasuke had cooked for them. Even the onion complaints were new. Sasuke suspected Naruto wouldn't be complaining about those now if he weren't nervous about his friends coming. It made him wonder what else he had been feeding Naruto that Naruto didn't like. "Thank you," he said to Chouji. "You can set it..." He looked at the cluttered counter and winced. Even if they hadn't been early, the kitchen was too small for all the groceries he had been trying to make edible. "Put it anywhere you can find a spot."

"The livingroom," Naruto spoke up eagerly. "We can have them as appetizers!"

"No," said Sasuke.

Naruto's face pinched and for a moment he looked ready to argue. Then he glanced at the two girls, who were watching closely, and deflated. "But..."

"If you can't wait for the rest of your friends to arrive, then you can eat some of the salad fixings."

"Raw vegetables? Are you crazy?"

"Naruto," said Sakura, "you haven't even introduced Ino and Chouji."

"Oh, yeah!"

Sasuke quickly found himself alone in the kitchen with Chouji, who had volunteered to cook up any meat he had on hand. The blonde girl, Yamanaka Ino, had left to get a tea kettle upon learning that Naruto didn't own one. She had hesitated long enough to warn Sasuke that Chouji would eat two-thirds of any meat he cooked if he wasn't watched carefully. Chouji continued to deny that accusation until Sasuke cut him off. "You're welcome to eat as much as you want so long as there is enough left for anyone else who might show up."

"Really?" Chouji's eyes lit up.

"Yes. It won't last much longer." Sasuke waved him at the refrigerator, and then made as much room as he could for the things Chouji pulled out. "I think that's bad," he warned him, when he grabbed the block of tofu from the bottom. "It smells sour."

"It is," Chouji sighed, after taking a sniff himself. "What a shame." He squatted down and peeked into the crisper. "Your mushrooms are gone, too. This is awful."

"I know."

"This celery is salvageable, though! When it gets rubbery like this you can still fry it up if you dice it thin enough. That cabbage is scary, but the inside might still be edible."

Sasuke was impressed. Chouji was even more against waste than he was. "It's not worth messing with. The only reason it's still in the refrigerator is because Naruto only gets his trash picked up once a week."

"You can't throw it away!" Chouji exclaimed. "Rotten produce makes great fertilizer for gardens. I'll take it home with me if you don't have a compost bin."

"I told you so," Naruto called from the livingroom. "Chouji will take anything food related."

"Food is life," Chouji said stoutly. "Those who don't respect that starve."

"Indeed," Sasuke drawled. A bit over the top, but not wrong. It was a wonder Naruto wasn't scrawny and malnourished from surviving on ramen for so long.

He took the celery and diced it up at the table where he had a good view of the livingroom. Sakura had managed to settle Naruto down on the couch where he was out of the way. But his legs were bouncing with nervous energy, and he kept looking past her to the door. When he caught Sasuke watching him, his face took on that wary hopeful look again. The meek housewife was back. That was especially irritating considering Sasuke was the one in the kitchen trying to cook for him and his friends. This was such a strange situation. He was hosting a dinner in which some people would be eating off paper plates while sitting on the floor if too many guests arrived. He hadn't even considered Naruto's lack of a tea kettle. He had been heating cups of water in the microwave and using teabags for his own tea since Naruto didn't drink it unless it was black tea and had sugar added to it.

His mother would be horrified. He had never been allowed to attend the formal dinners his parents had hosted, but he had seen the preparation that had gone into those. The small bowl of diced carrots sitting on the table attested to that. It was an odd thing he had done without thinking about it because his parents had always done it. His mother claimed it was because 'some people' disliked their carrots cooked. The way she said it had told him there was one guest in particular who had that quirk. But those raw carrots were always untouched the next day, making him wonder if that picky guest hadn't come or if he had lied about disliking 'cooked' carrots to hide the fact that he disliked all carrots. Sasuke didn't like them raw. Naruto certainly didn't. Yet he had set some aside while making the stir fry just in case. It was an odd thing to have done for what was essentially an indoor picnic. Maybe someone would eat them with the salad stuff. Naruto had bought three types of dressing despite his dislike of raw vegetables. So far none of them had been opened since Sasuke preferred his salads with a bit of vinegar and diced peppers. The dressings could go home with Chouji. Next time he and Naruto shopped for food he would make sure they got nothing that wasn't going to be eaten.

The boy from the lake was the next to arrive, with his dog but without the Hyuuga girl. The two flared their nostrils, exchanged a look, and then the boy rounded on Naruto. "I thought you said he couldn't cook."

Naruto went bright red. Sasuke suffered a strange mixture of annoyance and amusement. That answered the question of how much he had been feeding Naruto that Naruto hadn't liked. Probably everything. But Naruto had eaten it without complaint, so he had no one to blame but himself. Even Sasuke had disliked some of the things he had cooked. At least what he did cook was edible and not ramen.

"Chouji is cooking the meat," Sasuke informed the boy. And Chouji was actually using some of the spices Naruto had bought. Sasuke had been watching closely enough to note a few he would be trying out himself in the future.

"What? He won't leave any for the rest of us!"

"That's not true," Chouji complained, with a quick glare over his shoulder. The bulge in his left cheek was evidence that he had been feeding as he cooked, but so far he had only eaten half rather than the two-thirds Ino had predicted.

There wouldn't be much left over, but there should be enough to go around so long as the dog didn't need to be fed. Sasuke watched the dog as it followed its owner into the kitchen. Its white fur was visibly clean, and it didn't smell, but it was still a dog. He was relieved when it sat down a few feet from the table. It was tall enough it might have panted right on the food had it come closer. The dog closed its mouth and lifted its head as if it were returning his stare, despite its eyes appearing to be closed. He wondered again just how intelligent it was. He had never seen a dog that size that wasn't a summon.

"That's Akamaru," the boy said on his way past. "Don't worry, he already ate. I'm Inuzuka Kiba. Nice to meet you." Then he had reached Chouji and was squeezing his way in beside him. "Is that piece done? I want that one."

"That one's mine!"

"You're still chewing a piece. I can tell. Give me that one."

"No! Don't grab at the food! You haven't washed your hands!"

"Yeah, the second I wash them you'll have that piece in your mouth. I know better."

"Don't-"

"Hah! Mmh!"

"How could you do that? Get out of my kitchen!"

"This is Naruto's kitchen," Sasuke reminded them. Chouji had the grace to look embarrassed. Kiba grinned. Sasuke wondered if he was just imagining the challenge he read in that grin. For all he knew Kiba had spent more time in this kitchen than he had. At least the boy's dog was well behaved. He went to the sink and washed his hands. The strips of chicken Chouji was cooking did smell good, like red pepper and something herby. But there was an entire plate of beef that he had already cooked up which had smelled like barbecue when he was frying it. Kiba should have gone for that instead of stealing food out of the skillet. Maybe he had done it to get a rise out of Chouji.

"Sorry, Sasuke," said Chouji.

Sasuke shook his head at him. Since Chouji was cooking it might as well be his kitchen. He wasn't the one barging in like he owned the place. And stealing food. As if there wasn't plenty. "There's enough here for people to eat if you want to take a break after that batch. You can take the rest home with you. There's no need for you to cook it all while you're here."

"Are you kidding?" Kiba demanded. "When Chouji cooks you let him cook. You just have to grab as much as you can before he eats it all. One thing the Akimichi clan knows, it's how to cook food. Especially meat. This guy practically lives at the barbecue place. He knows his meat."

Chouji frowned as if he didn't know whether that was a compliment or an insult. He must have decided it was a compliment because he smiled and waved Sasuke off. "I'd rather cook it now than later. You can take that batch to the table, though. It's too close. Makes me want to eat it." He flipped a few strips of the chicken, one of which ended up in his mouth. Kiba immediately tried and failed to snatch another piece out of the skillet.

Sasuke took the plate, feeling like he was wasting his breath even as he spoke. "If you want to eat, eat something off the table. There's plenty."

"Only because Chouji's busy at the stove," Kiba scoffed. "The second he's done here, that'll be gone. I know how this works."

Rather sure of himself. Sasuke didn't like it one bit. He left the food on the table, gave one look over the spread, and went into the livingroom. Sakura was giving him a sympathetic smile. Naruto was still red faced, sitting suspiciously still and quiet and not looking at him. It took a moment for Sasuke to remember why. As if he cared that Naruto's clone had warned their guests about his lack of cooking skills. Better for them to be pleasantly surprised by Chouji's contribution than for them to come expecting too much. "You two might as well get something to eat. I'm not sure how long the meat will last with those two fighting over it. The rest is done."

Naruto's head popped up. "But everyone isn't here yet!"

"Who else are you expecting?" asked Sakura.

"I don't know," Naruto admitted. "My last clone hasn't expelled yet. If he finds Lee he might get the whole team." He hopped off the couch and passed Sasuke without quite looking at him. "Hey, Kiba. What about Hinata? And Shino?"

"Hinata went to see her sister. A clone wouldn't make it two feet past their gate. Shino might be in the village, but good luck finding him. He'll hold a grudge over that. Expect him to pop up all scary and sulking as soon as he finds out he wasn't invited."

"I can't invite him if I can't find him," Naruto complained.

"Right? He'll still sulk."

"I hate it when he does that. It's creepy."

"Tell me about it."

Sakura shook her head at Sasuke. "Ino should be back soon. She'll be upset if she went to fetch her tea tray and doesn't get to use it."

"She's bringing a tray?" asked Sasuke. She had only commented on the lack of a proper kettle. Had this struck her as a formal setting? Surely not. There was a dog in the kitchen. It was lying down now and appeared to be asleep, but it was still in the kitchen.

"It's new," Sakura smiled. "She got it for her birthday. She loves any chance to show it off. It really is very pretty. Her family usually has sons, so she is the first female in generations to inherit it without having married into the clan. She'll be bringing her own tea, too. She makes it out of flowers and herbs, so it's an odd flavor. Nice and strong, though, if you like that sort of thing."

Sasuke looked into the kitchen. Despite the protests, Naruto was filling up a plate with rice and meat and not a speck of the raw vegetables. That right there was why Sasuke had made it a point to cook vegetables in with the rice, including those onions Naruto claimed to hate so much. Since Naruto was occupied, Sasuke sat down on the couch and took advantage of his distraction. "Naruto said the only family he considered a 'real clan' was the Hyuuga clan. Are all of his friends members of clans?"

"He was probably talking about the noble clans. There used to be four, including the Uchiha clan. Now there are three. Hinata and Neji are from the Hyuuga clan. Shino is from the Aburame clan. And Chouji is from the Akimichi clan. Those three have heads with as much sway as the elders. The rest of the clans have unique skills passed within the families, but they aren't nobles. Tenten, Lee, and I are the only ones who aren't members of clans." She gave a smile that was somehow both self-depreciating and proud at the same time. "My parents are civilians. If Tsunade-same hadn't taken me on as her apprentice I never would have been able to keep up with the rest of them. The only thing I naturally excelled at was written tests and chakra control. But those are just the skills a medic needs, so I went into the perfect field."

"Naruto said you can break bones as easily as you can heal them." He didn't bother to hide how skeptical he was of that claim. She, on the other hand, did a good job hiding how much his tone annoyed her. Only the slight narrowing of her eyes gave it away. "Is that some form of taijutsu like Lee uses?" The narrow eyes widened and suddenly she was gaping at him. Then she was beaming with pleasure. He didn't know what to make of it.

"It isn't at all," Sakura laughed. "And yet, it sort of is. I never thought about it before, but it is similar. He opens chakra gates to enhance his abilities and I conserve and concentrate chakra to enhance mine. That's all we have in common, though. Lee is a genius when it comes to effort. Or a freak of nature, depending on how you look at it. The training he puts himself through..." She shook her head, though she was still glowing. Because he had compared her to Lee? He hadn't really. He had simply asked if they were similar. "We're exact opposites when it comes to taijutsu. And chakra control. My taijutsu is average at best, but the hits I do make are deadly because of how well I control and direct my chakra. His chakra is completely uncontrolled and undirected, but he has trained his body so well that his taijutsu makes the most of any boost he gets. "

That didn't explain how Lee could move so well on water. With enough practice he could have learned to do so instinctively, but he had to have learned it from scratch at some point. That must have taken a lot of control. He would have to ask Lee directly. He wondered if Lee would be as open about his techniques as Sakura was. Sasuke didn't know what she meant about 'gates' and 'concentrating' chakra, so she wasn't giving away any secrets. It was still strange how willing she was to talk about what she could do. Naruto was like that, but Naruto had promised to train him so that was a given. He wasn't sure what Sakura's motivation was. Maybe she saw his interest as a sign that he might take her up on that challenge she had issued. He had no intention of doing that. He wouldn't mind seeing her in action, though, if she could be conned into putting on a display. She did seem eager to show off what she could do.

"There goes my bunshin," Naruto said suddenly. He gulped down the food in his mouth and grinned. "Tenten is coming. The other two aren't because Lee got Neji dirty."

Kiba snorted.

Chouji looked over in surprise. "Lee must have improved a lot to get Neji dirty."

Kiba sputtered and then he and Naruto burst into laughter. Cackling, in fact. Naruto was cackling. Even Sakura made a muffled noise, though her face was twisted in a pretense of disapproval. Sasuke thought about it before he could stop himself. Weird looking but happily exuberant Lee and that cold blank-faced jounin? Naruto would pay for putting that image into his head. In fact, he should make him pay for even joking about his so-called friends that way. Unless this was normal for them? Chouji obviously didn't get it, so at least one of them had some redeeming qualities.

"How did he manage it?" asked Chouji.

"Good question," Naruto laughed. "We have to make Tenten spill when she gets here. All she would say is that Lee got him royally splattered and Neji was not happy about it."

"Splattered, eh?" Kiba snorted again.

"Oh," said Chouji. "They must have been sparring somewhere muddy."

"Yeah," Kiba sighed, "I'm sure that's it. You take the fun out of everything, you know that? You've been spending way too much time with Shikamaru."

"It doesn't matter what he splattered him with," Naruto drawled. He managed to keep a straight face for five seconds before he cracked. "I bet it got in his hair. I'd have paid to see that."

"Pay Tenten enough, maybe she'll do a henge of it."

"No way," scoffed Naruto. "We'd have to get her drunk for that, and then she'd kill us the second she sobers up. Assuming Lee and Neji don't get to us first. No, we'll have to make do with imagining it."

"I have never seen Neji with his hair messed up," Chouji commented. "I can't imagine that."

"No one outside their team has seen his hair messed up," said Kiba. "That's the point."

"Oh."

Sasuke dropped his eyes before Naruto could remember his presence and catch him staring. So Gamakichi wasn't the only one who wanted to mess Neji's hair up. It was rather long. Naruto liked long hair. If Sasuke hadn't been sent to Konoha, would Naruto have turned his attentions to Neji? Would Neji have wanted him to? According to Naruto the two were close enough that Neji had felt comfortable warning him of what a bad match Sasuke would be for him. A horrible partner and a huge disappointment. Sasuke agreed with that. Naruto had far more in common with someone like Lee or Kiba than he did with him. But it was too late now. If someone was going to mess up Neji's hair it would have to be Lee. Which, apparently, Lee was already doing. That was so bizarre. Sasuke sighed at himself. Some of the irritation he felt was probably jealousy. Naruto behaved the same way with his friends as he had with him, teasing and confident and comfortable. Sasuke had expected that after watching him with Lee. Kiba irritated him a little, and the way Kiba seemed to have simply accepted his presence here without breaking stride was suspicious. Seeing Naruto joke around with Kiba didn't bother him, though, because that was just Naruto being Naruto. But he had seen himself in Neji. Still waiting to find out what his clan wanted from him? Yes, he had already picked Neji out as the one person in this village he might be able to relate to. He hadn't considered that Neji was one of Naruto's friends. Naruto's friends were apparently all strange in their own way. He and Neji were probably nothing alike at all. And Naruto wanted to mess up his hair. Sasuke wasn't sure he would be able to look at him now without thinking about that.

"Sasuke?"

Sakura's whisper caught him off guard. He hadn't even noticed that she had leaned closer to him. Had his irritation shown on his face? "What?"

"Would you like me to check your injury now?" Sakura asked quietly. "Naruto's bunshin said you were planning to go running in the morning. It won't take more than a minute for me to make sure that's safe. Unless you'd rather wait until everyone leaves?"

"Now is fine. We can do it in the bathroom." Better to get it done with before Ino and Lee's teammate arrived. That way he would still have the option of retiring early.

"What's up?" asked Naruto. "Where are you going?"

Now he was paying attention to him, Sasuke scoffed. He hoped this irritation settled quickly so he could go back to being an uncaring spectator. "To the bathroom."

"With Sakura-chan?" Naruto yelped. "What? Hey! You guys better not talk about me!"

Sakura sniffed at him. "We have far better things to discuss than you."

"What? What does that mean?" Naruto followed them a few feet into the hall, his plate balanced in one hand as he pointed his fork with the other. "Leave the door open. And no funny business!"

Sasuke sent him an exasperated look. As if Naruto hadn't been the one to tell his clone to ask Sakura to look at his injury. Was he trying to make Chouji and Kiba think he didn't trust him alone with Sakura? A glance found Sakura smiling in a way that said it was just the opposite. She was the one Naruto didn't trust. He sighed and entered the bathroom. He wasn't surprised when Sakura quickly joined him and shut the door behind her. He was surprised that Naruto didn't try to follow.

"I can't help teasing him," Sakura grinned. "He makes it too easy."

He really did. Sasuke lifted his shirt and used the sharingan to watch the way she manipulated her chakra to test out the place where the wound had been.

"No pain at all?" she asked.

"Only if I put a lot of pressure directly on it. Then there's a twinge."

"Then don't do that," she said sharply. She let out a huff. "Tsunade-sama did a very good job on you. She always does. You should be fine to move around so long as you're careful to not put pressure on it. Especially the back." She drew a circle around the place where the sword had exited his back, and Sasuke twisted around to see it. "This whole area is still mending. One heavy blow here and you'll risk internal bleeding and another hospital stay. Give it two more days. Three if you can manage it."

"Otherwise it's fine?"

"For running and exercising and using chakra. But no sparring." She put her hands on her hips and gave him a narrow eyed glare. "I mean it. One hit, even a glancing one, and you could end up right back where you started. You're not the easy patient I thought you'd be, so it's best to avoid that. Don't you agree?"

"Yes," Sasuke said flatly. "I have no intention of damaging myself further."

Sakura continued to glare at him for a moment, as if trying to spot that for a lie. Then she dropped her arms, sat down on the edge of the tub, and smiled. "So, now that it's just the two of us, do you want to hear about the time Naruto spewed all over my cadaver?"

Sasuke blinked. This didn't sound like an appropriate topic to be discussing before dinner. But he was still a little irritated with Naruto. And he had been wondering about the rest of that story. "Sure."

"It was epic," Sakura beamed. "And absolutely disgusting!"

And humiliating, no doubt. Sasuke was all ears.

Instead of Naruto, it was Ino who burst into the bathroom and interrupted the story-telling. Sasuke was both relieved and annoyed. Sakura had taken malicious pleasure in describing in detail the parts of the cadaver she had been trying to reattach, how they had been detached in the first place, and what the interior of those parts had looked like covered in Naruto's chunky vomit. He had to actually work to avoid giving her the reactions she was obviously aiming for. The other stories weren't as gruesome and disgusting, but it was hard to keep a straight face during them. He wasn't amused. He knew he was supposed to find them funny, but he couldn't fathom anyone doing such ridiculous things. He just couldn't wrap his head around a shinobi, even a young one, being so...clumsy and ridiculous. He was embarrassed for Naruto, irritated that Sakura was telling him things Naruto clearly didn't want him to know, and yet he couldn't bring himself to stop her because this was the Naruto everyone here knew. This was the Naruto these friends of his had grown up with, and the 'brat' the older people continued to picture despite how much he might have matured since then. If he had matured. If Naruto honestly thought that trick Kakashi had pulled on him was a legitimate technique then he was still awfully clueless. That didn't bode well.

"What are you doing?" Ino demanded of Sakura. "I can't believe you!"

Sakura gave her a surprised and innocent look that probably didn't fool her for a minute. "I was just telling Sasuke about how Naruto farted in Kiba's face that time and almost killed him."

Ino gaped for a moment, and then shut the door behind her. "Did you tell him about that first bell test?"

"Of course! A thousand years of death. And he flew six yards!"

And still didn't know, years later, that Kakashi had merely been messing with him. Sasuke shifted irritably. It was bad enough letting Sakura gossip to him without another of Naruto's friends knowing about it, and possibly helping. Sure enough, Ino looked eager to contribute to the ruination of whatever image Naruto might have had.

"What about milk?" asked Ino. "Did you tell him about the time he drank that-"

The door was wrenched open so suddenly Ino stumbled back into a red-faced Naruto. Sasuke was again relieved, and annoyed that he needed Naruto to save him from this temptation. He didn't like gossip. Did he? He didn't want to like it, at any rate.

"No," Naruto said to the girls. "Sakura was one thing. She had to check his injury, and maybe it took so long because she was teaching him some medical jutsu or something. I don't believe that," he scowled at an innocent looking Sakura, "but you could argue it. Ino, though? No. Absolutely not. I refuse to have both of you in here with him. Out! And you," he scowled at Sasuke, "you should know better than to drop your guard just because they're girls. Kunoichi are scary and not to be trusted. Especially these two!"

"What?" Ino scowled.

Sakura's eyes narrowed. "Naruto..."

"See?" Naruto said to Sasuke. He threw his arms up. "She's going to hit me now. And it's all your fault!"

"I'll take full responsibility," Sasuke sighed. He didn't roll his eyes, but he wanted to. Sakura was, indeed, cracking her knuckles. He wondered if there were more stories she hadn't offered that involved her beating up on Naruto each time he pulled one of those ridiculous stunts of his. Maybe she was the one who had given Naruto the idea that it was okay to hit him when he annoyed him and that if he couldn't dodge a blow then he deserved it. Sasuke didn't want to get into that habit. He certainly wasn't going to let someone else do it in front of him. He slipped between the girls so Naruto was forced to back up into the hallway. "There won't be any violence at this gathering."

Sakura scowled at that. He couldn't tell if she was irritated he had ruined her fun, or insulted at the thought that he might actually believe she would have hit Naruto. He wasn't sure if she really would have hit him or not. He still hadn't figured out her relationship with Naruto. If she had hit him, it probably wouldn't have been very hard. Maybe she showed her 'affection' by hitting him the way Iruka claimed others here showed it by insulting each other. From the way Sakura had told her stories, she obviously found him funny and frustrating and endearing all at the same time. Very easy to like? Because he grew on people like a fungus. That description had sounded so bizarre and unflattering. Now he could see how appropriate it was. Naruto was already growing on him. It was rather disturbing when he thought about it. Best not to think about it, then.

He was introduced to Lee's teammate, a girl named Tenten with dark hair confined in two buns who seemed more interested in watching everything than in contributing anything. Then Ino served tea to him, the girls, and Chouji. Tenten didn't mention the mishap her teammates had gotten into and no one asked. The others must have already questioned her and gotten nothing because Naruto and Kiba were sending her pouting and resentful looks from where they sat in the kitchen. The tea was strange but strong. Ino did her best to serve it formally, as if the setting wasn't so casual she was kneeling on the floor across from three people on a couch, Chouji on the floor to the side of the low table, and two pouting teenagers watching on from the actual kitchen table. Chouji was also sitting rigidly as if this were a formal occasion. Sasuke regretted not suggesting they move the couch back so they could all sit on the floor. That, at least, would have made it easier to play along. It was awkward and he felt rather sorry for Ino. Once that was out of the way, they headed for the food.

There was far less left than he had expected. Chouji? Naruto was a bottomless pit, but he wouldn't have touched the raw stuff. Sakura and Ino bickered over the remaining lettuce and tomatoes, while Tenten went straight for the remaining beef. Sasuke stood back, planning to pick at whatever remained after everyone finished. He had to move aside when Chouji rushed over to get the last piece of the beef before Tenten could. That was when he noticed Akamaru had a plate on the floor in front of him. There wasn't much on it, just a sprinkling of lettuce and the diced carrots. Who had given the dog carrots? And why? He stared until the dog noticed, gave him a head-tilt, and then took a dainty bite of the rabbit food. He watched those large jaws grind away for a long while before Akamaru swallowed and gave him another head-tilt. Then he laughed.

Naruto whipped around so fast he choked on a mouthful of what was probably his fourth plate of rice and meat. Kiba promptly whacked him on the back with more force than was necessary. That made him choke some more before he managed to swallow. "What? What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Sasuke said. "I've just never seen a dog eat vegetables." Naruto could learn a thing or two from that dog. So could he. If a dog could force itself to eat raw carrots he really had no excuse for avoiding them so much. It wasn't often he found himself shown up by a dog.

"They're good for him," said Kiba. "He knows they are. Would be better if the carrots had been whole, though. Make sure you chew really good," he said to Akamaru.

The dog huffed and took another tiny bite before grinding away on it. Sasuke didn't laugh this time, but only because Naruto was watching him. Between the carrots and that scene at the lake he was starting to like this dog. He grabbed a plate and started filling it with the things no one was fighting over. His attention was focused on Kiba, though. The boy's clan raised nindogs. Was Kiba an alpha sort? Did he think in those terms? If he considered his behavior in light of that, it make a lot more sense. Kiba seemed to be working around him, even ignoring his presence, because he was the confrontational sort and a clash would force Naruto to take sides. Kiba couldn't know that Sasuke had no intention of clashing with any of them. If one of them voiced an objection to his intrusion in Naruto's life, he would be glad to have that out in the open. He would also concede to them. Disappearing any time one of Naruto's friends showed up would suit him just fine. Naruto was the one who wanted him to 'like' and get along with them.

Had Naruto put the same pressure on his friends, hoping they would 'like' him rather than simply tolerating him? Probably. That would explain why this impromptu gathering was going so well. He had expected at least some glares, if only when Naruto wasn't looking. And not one of them had mentioned what had brought him to their village in the first place. Naruto had to be responsible for that. It would be interesting to see how long that lasted.

Dessert. It lasted until dessert.

They were all gathered in the livingroom. Naruto and the girls were on the couch while Sasuke and Kiba sat across the short table from them and Chouji was off to the side again. Ino had served an even stronger tea, thankfully with less awkward formality this time. Sasuke had eaten a tiny sliver of the heavy cake and disliked it. Although not as sweet as he had feared, it had a thick consistency and a slightly pithy aftertaste. Ino was the only other person who avoided it. The others split three of the cakes, leaving the fourth for Chouji. They talked casually about things Sasuke couldn't follow, such as the 'investigation' that had kept Ino and Chouji's other teammate too busy to come by, someone with the unfortunate name of Konohamaru and the 'cat trouble' he kept having, and whether or not Naruto was going to finally get 'down to business' or give up and do the 'toad thing' like 'they' wanted him to. That was when Kiba turned away from a grimacing and deflecting Naruto and scowled at Sasuke.

"Have you even tried the sharingan on Kyuubi yet?" asked Kiba.

"We're not talking about that!" Naruto blurted. "Not tonight."

"Why not?" asked Tenten. "It's what everyone wants to know. If I don't find out tonight, Lee is going to ask him tomorrow."

Naruto gaped at her. "Why would he-"

"Neji told him to," she smiled.

"Shikamaru says they can't," Ino told her. "They're not allowed to do any experimenting without supervision because they blew up the lake." She shook her head at Naruto. "Did your dad really forbid you from using the rasengan? That's the only technique you know."

"That and bunshin," Sakura sighed. "But they've been sparring and he passed Kakashi's bell test with nothing but genjutsu. There's no reason to think he wouldn't be at least as good as Jiraiya-sama when it comes to-"

Naruto burst. "Stop! I haven't even talked to him about that yet!"

"Why the hell not?" demanded Kiba.

"Because!" Naruto snapped. "That isn't important right now."

Judging by their expressions they all disagreed with that. Naruto's arms were folded over his chest and he was doing a very good job of avoiding Sasuke's eyes. He looked angry, but also very uncomfortable. He should be uncomfortable. Sasuke was certainly uncomfortable having this conversation bounce around him when he was clearly at the center of it. Naruto hadn't talked to him about this yet. But Naruto had obviously talked to his friends about it quite a bit. What had happened to Naruto not wanting to keep him in the dark?

Sasuke sighed and answered Kiba's original question. "I have been forbidden from using genjutsu on Naruto."

"I told you so," Ino huffed.

"For how long?" asked Kiba. "Are you guys going to have to leave the village when you start that training?"

"I have no idea." He didn't even know what training Kiba was referring to.

"Sasuke's training comes first," said Naruto. He finally looked at Sasuke. His eyes were pleading and apologetic, but his expression was pure stubbornness. "I warned you. They're all excited about you helping me with my training. But yours comes first, I promise."

Tenten wrinkled her nose at Sasuke. "Are you really a genin? And you hope to keep up with Lee tomorrow?"

Ino turned to her. "What's he doing with Lee?"

Tenten grinned. "Running."

Ino winced.

Naruto scowled at them. "He's only a genin because he never took the chunin exam. He passed Kakashi's bell test without even trying. You think a genin could do that?"

"If he was an Uchiha and had the eyes for it," Kiba shrugged. "What kind of illusion did you use?" he asked Sasuke. "Our teacher is an expert at genjutsu, but when she tried it on Itachi he turned it around on her. Are you as good as he is?"

"What I used on Kakashi was nothing compared to what Itachi can do," said Sasuke. He hid his surprise. Kiba's teacher was one of the three people Itachi had attacked? And she had tried to use genjutsu on him? That was embarrassing. She must not have realized who he was. Or maybe it wasn't common knowledge that genjutsu didn't work on someone with the sharingan unless it was performed by someone with an even stronger sharingan. Kiba didn't appear to be holding a grudge against him for what Itachi had done. Kiba struck him as too straight-forward to hide that sort of resentment.

"He's being modest," Naruto bragged. "He had Kakashi-sensei all messed up. And you know my dad wouldn't have forbidden him from using genjutsu on me if he didn't think it was strong enough to help me with my training. He just doesn't want us doing it without supervision. He has someone in mind for that. Kakashi's friend," he told Sasuke, "the one with wood release. Supposedly he'll be able to shut me down if things get out of hand. But that's for later. We probably will have to leave the village for that and Dad doesn't want us going anywhere right now."

"Will you be sent with a second team?" asked Kiba.

"I don't know," Naruto shrugged. "Dad has been really vague about it. So it's not just me putting it off. There's no point talking about it when we're not allowed to do anything, and we don't even know where we'll be when we do get to try." He gave Sasuke another wary and apologetic look. "That's why I'm just focused on things we can do right now."

As if Naruto's reluctance to talk about his demon had nothing to do with it. Sasuke was more curious than ever now. What exactly did they think his sharingan would be able to do to Kyuubi? And how could that help Naruto's training? Iruka had said there was no chance of his sharingan releasing Kyuubi, but that there was a good chance of it affecting him. Affecting him how? Was that the reason Naruto's father blamed the demon for Naruto's fixation on him? Sasuke could think of few reasons the demon might want Naruto in close contact with someone who had eyes capable of 'affecting' him, and none of them were good. It was no wonder his father didn't want them experimenting on their own.

"What sort of training is Naruto helping you with?" Chouji asked Sasuke. "He doesn't do much aside from using bunshin."

"Hey!" Naruto yelped.

"Taijutsu for the moment," said Sasuke. "His bunshin are useful for that."

Tenten scoffed. "You'd be better off training with Lee. Naruto's taijutsu isn't anything to brag about."

"You're one to talk," Naruto scowled at her. "Without your weapon scrolls you can't fight at all!"

"Says the guy with maybe three weapons in his entire arsenal," she snorted.

"I offered to spar with him," Sakura spoke up, her eyes glinting at Sasuke, "but I think he's afraid of being beaten by a girl."

"Really?" Tenten grinned. "How interesting."

"No," Naruto snapped, glaring at both of them. "I'm the one who won't let him spar with you," he told Sakura. "Not without some strict rules. And don't you get any ideas, either," he scowled at Tenten. "He's great with weapons and a lot faster than you. He doesn't just deflect them like Neji, either. He can catch them and send them right back at you. He'd kick your butt."

"Is that a fact?"

"Wait!" Sakura glared. "You can't challenge her on his behalf after refusing to let him fight me. Who is your teammate, eh?"

Naruto cringed and scooted to the edge of the couch away from her. "I wasn't challenging her. I was just saying!"

"That you think he could kick my butt," Tenten murmured. "That's what you said. How is that not a challenge?"

"It wasn't a challenge," Naruto insisted. "It's just an opinion. I'm biased, so of course I'm going to shoot my mouth off. You can't hold me to that."

"I think she can and should," Sakura drawled. "But I challenged him first, so I have dibs. Agreed?"

"I suppose," said Tenten.

"It doesn't matter who challenges whom unless I accept," Sasuke pointed out flatly. The two girls looked at him as if they had forgotten he was even there. Sakura was quick to scowl at him, but Tenten gave a little smile he didn't know what to make of. "I have no intention of fighting either of you."

Sakura bared her teeth. "Because we're kunoichi. That chauvenistic-"

Sasuke cut her off. "Because you're Naruto's friends. I wouldn't know how to fight you safely. It would be a waste of your time as well as mine. If you want to pick a fight, pick one with him."

"Fight Naruto?" Tenten stared at him for a moment, and then laughed. "Maybe against his bunshin, but even that would be pointless. Has he ever even thrown a punch at you?" she asked Sakura.

"Of course not," Sakura scoffed. "Naruto won't even spar with me, much less give me a real fight."

Then why the hell did she expect him to fight her? Sasuke stared hard at Naruto.

Naruto grinned sheepishly and shrugged. "I can't fight girls unless it's an enemy. I count myself lucky I never had to face one of them in the chunin exam. I don't know what I would have done."

"Lost miserably," Kiba snorted. "That's what you would have done."

"Probably," Naruto admitted.

"He won't even spar with Hinata," Kiba told Sasuke. "Her techniques aren't that different from Neji's and he fought with him. But the one time she got up the nerve to ask him, he ran away like a pansy."

"I did not!" Naruto grimaced. "I was just in a hurry, is all. Besides, she was doing that creepy darting-eyed whispery thing. I never know how to deal with her when she's like that. And I only fought Neji that time because he was being an asshole. Someone had to take him down a peg or two."

Tenten took exception to that. "You only defeated him because he didn't know sealing your chakra points wouldn't seal Kyuubi's chakra. If he had known that he would have taken you out in the first two minutes."

"But then he might not have talked to his uncle," Ino murmured. "So it's just well that Naruto beat him. Right?"

"Yes, but that doesn't change the fact that he only won because he got lucky. He does that a lot," Tenten told Sasuke. "He does stupid things and somehow gets lucky enough for it to work out in his favor. It's really annoying sometimes."

"Tell me about it," Kiba snorted. "Who wins by a fart?"

Naruto turned bright red. "At least I don't flip around pissing on my opponents!"

"He's a nindog," Kiba glared. "That's what they do!"

"It's still disgusting!"

"So is farting in a person's face!"

"I told Sasuke all about that," Sakura chirped.

"What? Sakura-chan!"

"Good," Kiba huffed. "Someone should warn him about your dirty tactics."

"I didn't do it on purpose! I was trying to concentrate my chakra. I just strained too hard!"

"So, what? I should be glad you didn't shit on me instead of farting?"

"That's disgusting," Ino exclaimed.

"Tell me about it!" said Kiba.

"Are you going to finish that?" Chouji asked Tenten. She handed him her plate without a word. "Thanks!"

Ino grimaced at him. "How can you eat when they're discussing Naruto's loose bowels?"

"They're not loose! I was just-" Naruto snapped his mouth shut. His face was bright red. "Why are we even talking about this? Sasuke doesn't need to hear any of this!"

"He's going to find out the truth about you eventually," Ino shrugged. "Better for him to hear it from your friends than your enemies. Though I agree discussing your bowels right after eating is hardly appropriate."

Sakura laughed. "Say bowels again. His head is about to explode."

"Don't say it again," Naruto cringed. "Subject change. Now!"

"The spoiled milk story?" Ino asked Sakura. "His bowels were practically exploding in that one."

"That sounds awful," Chouji winced.

Kiba frowned. "I haven't heard this one."

"Me, either," said Tenten.

Naruto shot to his feet. "That's it. Dinner is over. Goodnight, everyone. There's the door. Don't let it hit you on the way out. Come on, Chouji. Let's get you loaded up with leftovers. Sasuke wants as much of it gone as possible. Right, Sasuke? I'll help you clean up. Lots of dishes to do." He caught Chouji's arm and hauled him up so he blocked him from sight when they went into the kitchen.

The dismissal was met with satisfied grins. Sasuke had never seen people show their 'affection' through humiliation and torture before. It was both amusing and effective. He kept that to himself, his expression bland as he helped Ino gather her tea cups.

"I'll wash them when I get home," she grinned. "I guess the milk story will have to wait till next time."

"Tell it to me now and I'll carry that tray for you," said Kiba.

"I want to hear it, too," Tenten frowned.

"Sakura?" asked Ino. "It's really your story."

"Why are you guys still here?" Naruto demanded from the kitchen. "Shut up and get out! You have outstayed your welcome!"

Sakura laughed and waved them toward the door. "Let's walk together. I'll tell you all about it. Then the next one of us who is alone with Sasuke can tell him."

"None of you are ever going to be alone with him if I have anything to say about it! I hate you all!" He stumbled when Akamaru squeezed past him with a low whine. "I wasn't counting you, Akamaru. I still like you."

"Only because Sasuke can't understand him," Kiba snorted. He waved at Sasuke and then grabbed Ino's tray.

"Later, Sasuke," Sakura smiled.

"It was nice meeting you," Ino added.

"Lee is going to run you ragged," Tenten said cheerfully. "Enjoy that."

Naruto shut the door behind them. "I knew this was a bad idea. I knew it. I can't believe them. And it was going so good, too."

"Your reactions egged them on," Sasuke pointed out. "You have no one to blame but yourself."

"Thanks. Your sympathy means the world to me." Naruto sulked his way into the kitchen, where he puttered around the sink without accomplishing much.

Sasuke saw Chouji loaded up on and his way. Then he cleaned up around the downtrodden Naruto. When he dumped some dishes in the sink Naruto did, in fact, start washing them. But he was silent and pouting and ridiculous. Sasuke waited until the kitchen was clean before intervening. He caught Naruto by the shoulder and marched him back into the livingroom. He pressed him down on the couch and sat beside him.

"Are you really that embarrassed or are you hoping I won't say anything about this training you haven't gotten around to telling me about yet?" He smirked when Naruto gaped at him. "I might be behind in 'learning you' but you're making it very easy at the moment."

"They weren't supposed to bring that up," Naruto sighed. "I wanted to ease you into the idea. But we can't do it right now, anyway, so I figured there was no rush. Now you're probably confused and suspicious and who knows what else. I told them this was just a little get together, hang out, maybe chat a bit and that's it. I don't know why Kiba had to go and bring that up. And then embarrassing me, like they just had to go and rub it in. Who needs enemies with friends like that? I knew this was a bad idea."

"Just tell me," Sasuke said flatly. He wasn't going to be diverted.

Naruto sighed again and folded his arms over his chest. "When I tap into Kyuubi's chakra enough, I get tails. It's a thing that happens to people who host a demon. Ero-sennin calls mine a youko cloak because Kyuubi is a youko, a demon fox. It's basically a covering of Kyuubi's chakra and the strength of it depends on the number of tails that manifest. Kyuubi has nine tails so technically I could get up to nine. But I max out at three. If I try to go up to four I lose control and attack anyone nearby. I have only done that once, but I almost killed Ero-sennin. I don't even remember it. He says I basically turned into a mini Kyuubi. But Kyuubi says he wasn't in control at the time, either, and that it was just our combined instincts taking out anyone nearby who might pose a threat. I don't think he was lying, but he could be. I haven't risked it since. I can't even risk going to one tail without someone nearby armed with one of Jiraiya's seals. But Jiraiya doesn't want me using Kyuubi's chakra at all, so he doesn't like making those seals for me. He wants me to learn sage mode. That's a toad thing he and my dad use. It's really powerful and I'd like to learn it. But Kyuubi is already inside me. He always has been and always will be. If I can figure out how to work with him and do the sage thing, that would be great. But if I have to pick one, it's Kyuubi. It has to be. Unless I figure out how to control that I'll always be at risk of losing control. It isn't even a matter of just chosing not to use him. If I'm close to death there is no choice. He takes over and saves us both. And then he does whatever he wants until my body gives out or someone takes us out. My dad and I have been butting heads about this for ages. Jiraiya wants me to learn sage mode so I won't need to use Kyuubi. My dad thinks learning sage mode might even help me with Kyuubi. But learning that involves staying on the mountain where Gamabunta lives. Some people are there for years and still fail. I can't go there for years. Anything could happen while I'm gone. And then there's you."

"Your obsession with me."

"Yeah. Even after I found out where you were, I couldn't stand the thought of going away for that long. Now that you're here, there's no way I would go unless I could take you with me. And there's no reason to focus on that anyway, when this is my best chance to work on Kyuubi. He says the sharingan can shut us down no matter how many tails I'm manifesting, at least long enough to override those instincts to kill anyone nearby."

"The demon told you that?"

Naruto gave a grimacing smile. "Right? That's the problem. It's too suspicious. He hates shinobi for locking him up. He especially hates the mangekyou sharingan for controlling him so he got locked up again instead of getting a chance to escape. So what is he thinking? That I'll go into tail mode trusting that you'll be able to stop it and then he'll get to break the seal and take over because only the mangekyou sharingan can actually stop him and you don't have that? I can't risk taking his word for it. We won't know if your sharingan can control his energy enough to snap me back to myself without actually trying it, and we can't do that without a backup plan in case it doesn't work. I figured that would mean having Jiraiya supervise, but he's still being really stubborn about me using Kyuubi. He definitely doesn't like the idea of me inviting you to use your sharingan directly on Kyuubi. He would help if he had to, but my dad doesn't want to pressure him when he's that opposed to it. Thats where Kakashi's friend comes in. Wood release. The first hokage had that and used it to control the tailed beasts. But we don't know if it will actually work on me since my demon is already sealed. Once again, we won't know till we try and we can't risk just trying without taking lots of precautions. So it's back to the waiting and, yeah, I really didn't see any point bringing this all up right now."

"You brought it up with your friends," Sasuke noted.

"They know I have been fighting to train with Kyuubi instead of going the toad route. I never actually told them I was going to ask you to help me with my training, but they all assumed I would because of the whole sharingan-Kyuubi thing. I really thought I had reassured them about that. I'm not going to take chances with you. I certainly wouldn't do it here in the village where I could end up on a rampage if I get past you. I'm not that reckless. They should know that by now."

"Do they understand the risks?"

"Maybe not," Naruto frowned. "They've never seen me with more than one tail. I told them what I did to Ero-sennin. Sakura has seen the scar, so she knows how bad it was. But maybe they don't understand how strong he is, and how strong I had to have been to do that to him. They just know how impatient I have been to try doing things my own way, working with Kyuubi, so they figured I would jump on the chance to take advantage of you being here. And I will, if you're willing to help me out," he smiled, "just as soon as I finish helping you and we figure out a way to test your eyes against Kyuubi safely. Your training comes first. Don't worry about that."

Testing his sharingan against a demon would be training in itself. The idea was still disturbing. If this was a trick the demon was playing and things went badly, would he and the clan be held responsible? He couldn't risk that. He would have to talk with the Hokage about this before he even considered 'helping' Naruto.

"Are you mad that I didn't talk to you about this sooner?"

"No." He was irritated to know that they wouldn't be talking about it now if Naruto's friends hadn't brought it up. He shouldn't have been put on the spot like that. But he could see why Naruto had been content to leave it for later. It was all very theoretical for the moment. He stood up. "I'm going to take a shower. Will you be sleeping on the couch again?"

Naruto blushed and squirmed. "I'll go to bed, but I might not stay there."

Sasuke didn't bother arguing with him. He had a lot to think about. He would be getting up in a few hours and didn't want to be sore as well as cranky. And he now knew far too much about Naruto's bowels to even consider topping him. He was smirking by the time he reached the bathroom, but he didn't laugh until the water was running loudly enough to muffle the sound.

.-.
TBC