Hello, world! Please be kind to me and give this a chance. It's pretty disconnected, but aren't most drunks?

I don't own this stuff.

I love them both so very much! Sometimes, my adoration of them overpowers me so, I can barely breathe. He is perfection in a human form and she… Oh, God, she!

Though others may say this is sinful, I have no qualms with loving them both equally. But the bliss of having them both by my side is nothing more than an impossible dream. They are, you see, sworn enemies.

He loathes my darling green faerie. He tells me she drives me to foolishness. Perhaps he is right. He tells me that under her influence I am but a slobbering ass. Slobbering perhaps, but an ass? I am an ass with or without my lovely liquid lady, for I have been stupid enough to fall in love with him.

She clouds my eyes to his beauty and shows me only his sharp cruelty. She allows me to see how foolhardy and childish he is. I think even when I am sober I know that. He's caught up in foolish hopes for a better tomorrow, too blind to see that he is destroying himself through his attempts to rescue everyone else.

I love that foolishness. It makes him seem so vulnerable to someone who thinks of him as more than a headstrong revolutionary. When he talks of his grand schemes to change the world, I wish I could find the strength to stand beside him. I wish I could cast aside my green maiden and help him make this grand, unrealistic future a reality. But I am a coward.

She makes me feel so safe, enveloping her in a soft haze, telling me how she will always protect me. I need not put myself out for that speech-making statue before me. I know I needn't help him, m'lady, but I want to.

He needs me to guide him and show him a peaceful way to salvation. I need him to pull me from my bottle and teach me how to live.

Instead, he shuns me, calling me foolish and useless. Every time I reach out to him, he pushes me away, telling me to come back when I'm sober. And yet he offers me no help to achieve freedom from this "vice".

Is she a vice? I think of her as merely a different pair of loving arms. If I cannot have the man I love, I shall run to the woman who will never leave me. But God, I wish she would.

And so I am at a standstill, being pulled in two directions, one hand reaching out to each of them. I fear if I do not let go of one of them soon I shall rip in two. But which one to release? And can I truly find the strength to say goodbye to either?

What did you think? Please review!