Again

Xena does not know what comes over her. Her hand moves before she thinks... and then, they are touching. They are pulling clothes off, they are rough with each other.

Is this a dream? Am I really here, doing these things with her? To her?

Gabrielle ignores the looks, ignores the guilt coming toward her from Xena's eyes. She does not talk about it. How can she? How can I explain that I want her so badly, I'll take her any way I can...?

Walls go up quietly and they pretend things are the same as always. They talk, they joke, they save each other in a million ways. Once night rolls in, though, resolve crumbles. Gabrielle is not sleeping and Xena knows.

And they are doing it again, groping for each other again, moaning into each other again, trying to burn up in each other again... Dawn rises and Xena sees the bruise on Gabrielle's arms.

I can only hurt the ones I love...

Gabrielle can feel Xena's gaze. She stays still, remembering the feeling of Xena inside of her and how Xena can barely touch her in the daylight. Gabrielle lets out a ragged breath.

I can only get so close to her...

Again, the barriers come up. Again, they act as if the nights do not occur. Again, they wait for the next time.