Twenty Secrets the Black Order Keeps
by aishuu
1 - Bak Chan's crush on Lenalee is an open secret, but Reever also has a bit of a crush on her. She's a beautiful, strong woman and any man would be proud to be the one she decides on. It's something he knows he can never admit, because Komui will go absolutely berserk if he finds out. He's seen the plans for the entire Komurin series, and definitely doesn't want to be on the receiving end of the ire of someone who thinks of squeegees like that.
2 - Another open secret is the betting pool the Finders have on who will earn Lenalee's affections. Allen's currently the 3-1 favorite, but Lavi has moved up in the odds to 6-1, while Kanda is a distant third at 20-1. What's secret is the 40-1 bet that Komui took, "that Lenalee will remain pure and unmarried."
3 - Komui likes tea better than coffee. He only drinks it because Lenalee brings it, although he would prefer a good cup of jasmine tea, just like he drank while still in China. He'll never tell Lenalee for fear of making her think he doesn't value her efforts.
4 - Lenalee knows that exorcists are meant to be weapons, but she yearns for a time "after." She believes that it's possible to defeat the Millennium Earl, and likes to imagine what an ordinary life will be like. She never discusses this with anyone, but knows Komui is wise enough to suspect what her private dream is.
5 - Komui's able to justify keeping secrets from his sister for "her own good." Komui knows that he will never tell her something his research has discovered: bearing Innocence makes women barren. He understands that she dreams of someday having a family of her own, and he can't bring himself to shatter her fantasy.
6 – Miranda Lotto has no interest in romance, although her recent entry into the Black Order has exposed her to men who find her attractive. A couple of the more daring Finders have asked her out, but she always politely declines, stating she needs to focus on learning her job. In truth, she refuses them because she always hears the slight sound of ticking, a constant background noise in her ears. She knows that time is too short to waste on frivolous pursuits like falling in love.
7 – Oddly enough, she's most like Kanda in that respect. Kanda doesn't waste time thinking of his secrets. He's all about being the best exorcist he can be. It's not his fault that people are too stupid to understand that the job matters more than anything to him (except that person, but he's not going to tell the fuckwits anything they don't need to know).
8 - Jerry agrees that some things are best not discussed. He'll never tell what's in his secret sauce - that's why it's called a secret sauce.
9 - Some secrets, though, are more serious. Johnny wishes Suman had told him how miserable he was – maybe he'd have been able to do something. Johnny understands loneliness, but believes that as long as you reach out, someone will be there to meet you.
10 - Tapp helps Johnny cope with his guilt the only way he can, playing endless games of chess. He's never going to say how much he hates the game.
11 - Bookman has more secrets than anyone else in the Order, and wouldn't be able to choose just one as the most important. But someday, he will pass everything he knows onto Lavi, and there will be nothing he holds back. He will open his entire life up to his apprentice, hiding none of the tiny secrets that comprise a human's existence. There are few that have the courage to find this kind of honesty within themselves. It's one of the reasons why he selected Lavi as his successor, a reason almost as important as a sharp, incorruptible memory.
12 - Lavi keeps himself a secret, and very few suspect. He is the Bookman's apprentice, not the Bookman. But he hides who he had once been, the other forty-nine names he bore buried like skeletons in the closet. He mourns for each of these past identities, knowing that they have gone from the world and will never return. There's something sad about that. The one secret Lavi keeps from himself is how much he fears the end of this incarnation. He has fallen in love, although not with another person; he is in love with who he is, and doesn't want to lose his current life.
13 - The Bookman knows this. And this is why he judges Lavi not ready to assume his title.
14 – Krory has mixed feelings about being an exorcist, although he only ever shows his determination. He can't fight without remembering Eliade, and mourns for her every day. But deep inside, perhaps the part of his soul that is entwined with his monstrous Innocence, he still wistfully longs for the sweetness of her blood.
15 - To Hevlaska, there are no secrets, just things best left undiscussed. It's been a while since she walked among humanity as one of them, but she still remembers why people guard their hearts.
16 – This doesn't mean that she doesn't spend time thinking on what she learns when she tests people for Innocence compatibility. It's not like she really has much to do. As a result, she's the Order's largest depository of gossip – everyone who comes to visit her has heard some kind of rumor they want to share with a discreet source, and they know she will never tell what she learns.
17 - Cross' biggest secret – aside from who Maria is, what he's really after, what his travel itinerary is, how he can modify Akuma, what... okay, so it's just one of Cross' secrets – is that he's responsible for Allen's sense of direction. Never underestimate the power of a motivated General, his Innocence, and a lot of alcohol.
18 – Despite how he acts, Allen doesn't hate Cross. He may want to make his master take a long walk off a short plank, but he doesn't want to see Cross dead. This may be because he genuinely fears what might happen if one of Cross' lovers gets it into her head to call him back. Cross-as-an-Akuma would have the capability of ruling the world.
19 – Allen knows that most people know his most dreadful secret: the fact that he killed his father. It's why he always has compassion for those who are driven into the Millennium Earl's clutches, because he understands. What they don't know is that a part of him wishes Mana had killed him for that sin, because living with the guilt is almost more than he can bear.
20 – The one other thing Allen keeps to himself is the fear he feels every time he goes into a fight. He knows some members of the Order think he is the Destroyer of Time, the one destine to put an end to the Millennium Earl's mad designs. Lately, though, the whispers are more insidious, with many pointing out his Clown Cross is eerily similar to the Earl's sword. While Allen thinks it's impossible that he's one of the Earl's lackeys, catching sight of his reflection out of the corner of his eye forces him to wonder. More than anything, he fears betraying those who love him.