A/N: No, I'm not dead yet. This chapter proved to be a real challenge. Considering the nature of the chapter, writing in Mitsuru's shoes was very difficult for me, but I'm very pleased with the length of it as I had hoped to end this entire collection with a bang. :D

As always, I'm not a perfect proof-reader...

Title: Stay Gold (by Utada Hikaru)

Summary: Was I prepared to risk losing everything our family had built just because I couldn't let go of a single person? Was I honestly that selfish?

Akihiko Sanada. The name stirred all sorts of emotions within me. One of the first things I had noticed and liked about him was his confidence. He was a champion in and out of the ring and he knew it. Naturally, with confidence usually came cockiness, but in his case I had been pleasantly surprised to find that unlike many other arrogant people, he could be unexpectedly humble and respectful at times. Looking back, perhaps it was his friendship with Shinjiro that had kept his amiable character in check.

I couldn't understand why he had been the first person to come to mind when the news of my engagement began to sink in. It wasn't because I saw him in my fiancé's shoes instead—most certainly not—but the idea of getting married was not as disconcerting as the very thought of telling him. Why does it even matter? I had questioned myself time and again but the only thing that brought about was just more confusion for myself.

Akihiko was… Akihiko wasn't just a friend. He was more than that, almost like family, like a brother… no, that wasn't it. It was hard finding the right word to describe him but one thing I was certain of was the fact that I did not have romantic feelings for him. He was the person I could talk to most of the time and I cared for him greatly, but I was sure that was the extent of our relationship, despite speculations and remarks from some people around us. He was good looking, yes, but I did not feel jealous whenever I saw the troupe of giggling girls trailing after him in adoration and the fact that he constantly received countless love letters that were stuffed into his locker only amused me. There was a bond between us—an extremely close one at that—but no sexual attraction whatsoever.

So if our relationship was completely platonic, why was I lying there in my bed, face buried into my pillow and head going around in circles, unable to bring myself to tell him face-to-face about my engagement? Keeping that away from him was tempting but I knew I wouldn't be able to do that. I had always talked freely with him in the past and he knew things other people didn't know about me—my grandfather, the proposals I loathed, the way I hated having to shoulder so much responsibility, my fear of needles (!)...

"You are a Kirijo," my father had said once. "There are times when you must still make decisions regardless of your emotions."

I knew I was strong enough to do that. Even now, a part of me had somehow accepted my marriage to Kogi, knowing full well how advantageous it would be to the Group, but in the other corner of my mind, something was prodding my consciousness; agitated, nagging, a single name, four syllables, an echo reverberating.

Akihiko. Akihiko. Akihiko.

Why did I feel like marrying Kogi meant letting go of my closest friend somehow? And this time, no matter how strong I thought I was, that was something I just couldn't do. It almost felt as if I was betraying him in some way, but why? Why did I feel like this if I didn't have feelings for him? I was certain I didn't… Akihiko just wasn't someone I could see myself with. It was difficult even trying to imagine him being somebody's boyfriend, let alone my own. Taking our relationship to that whole new level would be incredibly awkward, but try as I might, it was hard not to listen to that voice in my head that pointed out how ideal he would be for the role. He excelled both academically and physically, he knew me very well—almost as well as my father had—and he was my longest known friend.

I did notice he had been acting rather strange lately, though. His gestures were too quick, almost as if he was defensive or anxious, and at times, I practically sensed the wariness radiating off him. I couldn't figure it out. It couldn't be because of my 'execution' in Kyoto (let bygones be bygones…), could it? I was especially puzzled as to the reason behind his extremely foolish behaviour that one night in Tartarus. It wasn't that I was ungrateful for what he had done but I was livid and very annoyed at his recklessness. Of all the attacks to intercept, it had to be an ice spell—something that would have just felt like a ticklish prickle to me. It was a terrible feeling watching him flung onto the ground with that sickening crash. The image remained in my mind the entire hour he was out cold; perhaps that was what triggered the anger bubbling restlessly within me, the sharp words I had said to him.

I hated him for making me worry. He couldn't even come up with an excuse for his actions and just clammed up. I had thought that he had grown since we lost Shinjiro, but perhaps I was mistaken…

o-o-o-o-o

I did not get much sleep that night but by morning, I was surprisingly wide awake. I left for school half an hour before the other dorm residents even arose, busying myself with a physics assignment in the student council room. As strange as it sounded, school and college work actually took my mind off a lot of things I'd rather not think about. People often found my ability to shift my focus to an entirely different matter in mere seconds quite amazing. I myself was just thankful for such a talent.

I spent the first half of the afternoon after school settling some business regarding the council budget. On my way to the faculty office to see our advisor, Mr. Ohkawa, I bumped into Arisato. His bag was slung over a shoulder and he said that he was just heading back to the dorm.

"Would you like to join me?" he casually asked. "I'm thinking of stopping for some takoyaki on the way."

I was about to decline—"No, I took the motorcycle today."—but an unexpected thought suddenly struck me. Arisato seemed like someone who would be perfect to go out with. He was quiet but charming, got very good grades and wasn't exactly unattractive. An image of us strolling along hand-in-hand flashed in my mind and I wondered if things would be as awkward as if it was with Akihiko. Before I knew it, I was already answering, "Yes, I think I will. Can you give me fifteen minutes, please? I have to see Mr. Ohkawa about something first."

"Sure," Arisato said, slipping his bag to his side and leaning against the shoe lockers. I turned without another word, walking towards the staffroom. The warning bells in my head rang deafeningly even as I knocked on the door.

What had I done? That was the rashest and fastest decision I had ever made, and I hoped I would not come to regret it.

o-o-o-o-o

Takoyaki, as I later found out, were little balls of diced octopus that tasted absolutely divine. I was amazed at its low price. Perhaps this was something worth investing in by the Kirijo Group…

"You've never tried it even though you come by here a lot?" Arisato sounded incredulous.

"I've only ever passed through with Akihiko. We never stopped for anything," I said. Mentioning my silver-headed friend felt strange at a time like that… I wondered if this was what other people would call a 'date'? Was it wrong thinking about Akihiko when I was supposed to be enjoying Arisato's company?

A silence loomed over us as we continued munching on our takoyaki. My companion, as expected, did not make conversation. I did not like talkative men, but I soon found out that it was actually quite uncomfortable being with someone who was too quiet as well.

"Arisato…" I hesitated slightly before asking him, "Have you noticed Akihiko behaving oddly lately? Like he has something on his mind?"

The junior frowned and cocked his head to his side, chewing slowly. Then he shook his head. "… Did the two of you get into an argument or something?"

His words caught me off guard. "No," I replied, unable to help the cautious tone. "Why would you think so?"

He shrugged. "Just a hunch," he said, glancing at me. His face was as expressionless as ever. "… It's not about what he did the other night, is it? I know you think he was just being reckless, but to be honest, I think he just didn't want you to get hurt."

I stared at him, blinking hard. Arisato often surprised me with his unusual perceptiveness. "But I wouldn't have got hurt," I pointed out rather stiffly. He just shrugged again and said no more. His behaviour puzzled me.

"He was different after we lost Shinjiro-senpai," remarked Arisato. "The two of them seemed really close."

"Indeed, they were childhood friends," I concurred, staring at the ground before me, my attention resting on a single flower bobbing gently in the breeze. "… Akihiko has changed," I said softly, a hint of pride in my voice. "He used to just jump ahead without thinking, or set his mind on just one thing and ignore everything else around him, but he's grown so much since Shinjiro's death. He's learning from his experiences and I'm… well, very impressed by his maturity. I've known him for a long time and it's wonderful to see him like this. I can't help but feel proud and happy for him." I paused, idly scrapping the bottom of the carton in my hand with my toothpick. "It's funny…" I murmured. "But when I look at him, sometimes I start to wonder if I've grown as much as he has. Things have been difficult without my father and to be honest, I've had some very dark thoughts, but thinking about Akihiko gives me strength, somehow."

It was unusual for me to speak so honestly to someone I wasn't really close to and Arisato must have realised it. The smile on his lips was mysterious and almost shrewd. I raised my eyebrows at him curiously.

"It sounds to me, senpai," he began in a nonchalant tone. "That perhaps… there's something there?"

I blinked at him. What did he mean, something there? Something where? The look on my face must have been one of utter bewilderment because he gave an unexpected chuckle and turned away. He got up, tossed his empty carton into a nearby rubbish bin and slipped his hands back into his pockets, still grinning knowingly. "I meant…" he said quietly. "… Maybe you're in love?"

I had always been very good at hiding my true feelings, even from the people closest to me, so it was effortless keeping my face a mask as his frank words unleashed a whirlwind of emotions inside me. My hands did not shake, my gaze did not wander from his. When I responded, my mouth and throat were as dry as a barren desert, but my voice did not waver one bit, "I don't think so. Akihiko's a friend—a teammate. There… There isn't a right word to describe him... We're close, but not in that way..."

I was up most of the night again that day, staring at the bleach-white ceiling with a million thoughts bouncing around in my head. I couldn't stray away from Arisato's words. Was I in love? I was so certain I wasn't, but hearing the question from someone else's lips sent my confidence crashing down.

Did I love Akihiko? Was that why I wasn't sure about the place he held in my heart—why I still couldn't bring myself to tell him about my engagement?

o-o-o-o-o

How does one know if one is in love anyway? It was a question I had asked myself countless times ever since I was a child. If thinking about someone made you smile unconsciously, were you in love, or just thinking you were? I looked at the couple two tables away, leaning close to one another, whispering and beaming happily. They clearly liked spending time with one another, but did that mean they were in love? What if they got tired of each other? I of all people knew that life was far from perfect little fairy tales. People didn't meet their soulmates, fall in love, live to the end of their days together without a care in the world. A cynical view, perhaps, but a life free of anguish was a miracle, not life, and as everyone knew, there were no such things as miracles.

"Something wrong?" Akihiko's voice penetrated my cloud of thoughts and I gave a small, involuntary start.

"Huh?" I turned to him, eyebrows raised, suddenly remembering that we were both in the school library, studying. He grinned and said, "It's not like you to space off."

My own smile felt feeble and watery. "My apologies… My mind just wandered…"

"… Oh yeah, how did the meeting with the company directors go? It was a couple of days ago, wasn't it?"

It was a query I dreaded hearing from him. I didn't want to think about the Kirijo Group, or Kogi, or how everyone kept insisting I was too inexperienced, so I just stared at the chemistry book on the table and forced myself to read the first sentence that came into sight…

Thiols, more commonly known as mercaptans, are any compounds with a functional group containing a sulphur atom bonded to a hydrogen atom (—SH). Common in—

"… Mitsuru?" His voice was full of concern.

"It went alright." I could lie very well sometimes. "They just wanted to sort something out. I'll be meeting them again next week."

He kept quiet for a while after that and I thought that was the end of the conversation, but as if he had a sixth sense, he pressed on, "Did something happen?"

I didn't know how he knew me so well. I had absolutely no idea.

"You know you can talk to me," he urged and when he said it, something just snapped in me. This was a chance for a bargain and I was going to take it. I looked at him, my eyes narrowing slightly and I murmured, "I'll tell you… if you tell me first what it is that's been bothering you."

His reaction was immediate. He turned back to his textbook and started to read, or pretended to read. I watched him carefully, but he showed no sign of responding to my words. Truthfully, I had sort of expected that. He could be stubborn when he wanted to be.

As I stared at his face, I suddenly noticed the light stubble running along his jaw and chin, prickles of dark grey against his pale skin, and for the briefest moment, I wondered what it would be like to touch it.

o-o-o-o-o

The day before Ryoji Mochizuki ultimately revealed our unavoidable fates, I decided to bite the bullet, confront Akihiko about his behaviour and tell him about Kogi. I was tired of tossing and turning in bed, questioning my feelings for him and puzzling over his actions. I had to be direct, straightforward, if I wanted answers from him. Keeping him oblivious about something important like my arranged marriage was unsettling; I was torn between the guilt of not telling him and the guilt of actually going ahead with the directors' decision.

An hour before the school gates were closed, I went to the gym where the boxing club met. Clubs ended 30 minutes ago but I knew Akihiko always stayed behind for some extra training. I didn't know if he would be alone—sometimes Najima, the vice-captain, joined him—but when I carefully peered through the glass doors, there was only a lone figure standing by the punching bag. I scanned the corners of the gym but there was no one else. When my hand reached out for the steel handle, it was surprisingly calm. There was no turning back. I had always been taught to stride forward with determination, but even then, I couldn't help but wonder how Akihiko would react to my news. Would he just stand there stoically and agree with the Group's decision, or would he smile and congratulate me? Would he frown, get angry, try to stop me?

I approached him silently, my boots making no sound on the carpet, still thinking about what he would say, when suddenly everything in my mind just froze. I was still a distance away but I saw him clearly under the bright, white lights—standing tall, resting his weight on his left foot. His cellphone was in his hand and he was busy texting, panting lightly, face turned away from me, but I merely stared at his chest, rising and falling, sweat glistening on his bare skin. I stared at his drenched arms and the strong dip in his back—lean, powerful muscles rippling with hidden strength. I stared at the taut area just above his bellybutton, hard and moist.

I couldn't look away. I had seen him without his shirt before but this time, I just couldn't look away.

When he snapped his phone shut and took up the boxing gloves by his feet, I turned and left the gym as quietly as I had arrived, thankful for the dimness at the gym entrance. My cheeks burned hotly, my heartbeat thundered wildly in my eardrums and my steps came out a little wobbly as I headed to front gate. I passed some students and teachers and mumbled greetings, but all I could think about was Akihiko half-naked and my uncharacteristic reaction, my light-headedness. Completely forgetting I had ridden to school in the morning, I walked to the nearby train station, boarded the five o'clock train and sat there staring out of the glass windows, watching the buildings and people flying past outside.

I saw it then, as plain as day. How incredibly foolish had I been to think that nothing had changed between us, that we could still go back to how we used to be? After dragging myself through days of puzzling over my exact feelings for him, to finally understand what he meant to me felt almost enlightening; like all of a sudden, everything was either black or white with no hints of grey.

Of course… yes, of course. How could I have been so ignorant, so blind? Did I need to see him bare-chested to realise the real reason behind my difficulty in approaching him? I still did not know if I loved him, but Akihiko was now definitely not 'just a friend', as I had told everyone else all the time. The image from the gym had sent my pulse and mind racing, emotions I never knew I had ricocheting madly off the walls of my heart. It had felt like excitement, but a far different kind from what I had experienced before.

Was that love…? I supposed I did have a certain degree of affection for him, but exactly how deep, I did not know. I was surprised and confused by how quickly I had overstepped the boundary between being friends and something more. We had had a lot of intimate moments in the past—that incident at the love hotel, the short but meaningful conversations we had about Shinjiro, my family, my life—but none of them, although dangerously veering off the edge into new territory, had ever lead anywhere. Never triggered new emotions. Was it possible to suddenly see someone in a different way—just like that, in a split second?

That fifteen minutes on the crowded train was, in itself, a turning-point in my life, just like the night I had lost my father. Even when Mochizuki told us all about Nyx and the Fall, Akihiko still constantly plagued my thoughts. All of a sudden he wasn't just a close comrade or a protective brother anymore. I watched him fight in Tartarus and saw someone strong, unbreakable, manly... someone I could feel safe with.

Lately, I could see that he was still not himself. We saw each other every day but with the exception of our occasional study sessions, we hardly ever talked. Whenever we were together, I'd catch him staring at me from the corner of my eyes, making me wonder if he noticed anything different about my behaviour as well, but ever since that one time in the library, he did not bring up anything more about the company. Sometimes, I wondered if there was a chance of Akihiko actually thinking about me the same way I thought about him. He had never seemed interested at all, though. Training was always his priority. There were times it seemed almost like we shared the same soul—he'd know if I was depressed or pleased, likewise I could usually sense his raw emotions—but after four years of friendship, nothing had ever come about from it.

As January went by, I felt the both of us slipping further and further away from each other. He was mostly at the gym while I was swamped with both college and school work as well as the fortnightly meetings with the Group's board of directors. Bound by a sense of duty, I also took time to meet my fiancé a few times. Atsushi Kogi was the new president of DVU Electronics, a close associate of the Kirijo Corporation. I had been previously acquainted with him from the many dinner parties our company held. He was about a decade and a half older than me and was a rather strange man. Sometimes he was incredibly charming and civil, other times he appeared bossy, impatient and demanding. Needless to say, I did not enjoy spending time with him. My parents' marriage had been arranged to benefit both parties and thus, throughout my teenage years, I had accepted the fact that someday, the same would be done for me. Although I did not like Kogi, I had resigned myself to my fate and sought to see it through when the decision about our engagement was made months ago.

But everything didn't seem as simple as that now. Kogi was a very brilliant businessman but more often than not, an image of a platinum-headed person stole into my mind and I'd picture someone else sitting across the dinner table instead. I had thought that I could go through with it, but now I saw that I could never grow to love Kogi the way my parents had each other.

Would I be making the wrong decision if I decided to back out from the engagement? I still had time—Kogi was only planning to announce it next month, but was I prepared to throw the Group's future into jeopardy because of my feelings? Was I prepared to risk losing everything our family had built just because I couldn't let go of a single person? Was I honestly that selfish?

… No, I wasn't.

I am a Kirijo. I had silently uttered the words so often that they were already like a mantra to me. Yes, I was a Kirijo; I had strength and I fully understood that the things we sometimes had to do were not necessarily what we wanted ourselves. Fate was simply not that kind, life was not that simple. Acting on my emotions was a luxury I could afford but ultimately could not buy.

I am a Kirijo… and that's why I will see this through to the end.

o-o-o-o-o

I did not know why I chose the night that might be the last night of our lives to finally tell him. If we were to fail and the Fall did come about, everything would vanish in a blink of an eye anyway. There would be no wedding, no more pretences, no more heart-aches. On the other hand, if we succeeded, chances were we would forget everything that had happened. I had mixed feelings about the thought of having my relationship with Akihiko returned to normal. Certainly, it would make things less complicated, but it also evoked a distressing sense of emptiness within me.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror before me. I was quite warm with my coat and scarf but my cheeks were flushed as if I had just been out in the cold. If this was to be the last few hours of my life, I couldn't bring myself to keep anything more away from him. He did not need to know about my feelings but I had to tell him about Kogi, even if there was a possibility of our memories disappearing.

I reached for my gloves, left my room and calmly walked to the stairs. Aigis and Koromaru were at the table in the tiny lounge nearby. The android looked up when she heard me. "Are you going out, Mitsuru-san?" she asked in surprise.

"Yes, just for a short walk," I responded. There was no need for her to know that I was not going alone. She nodded and Koromaru gave a short bark. I went down to the floor below and headed to the last door on the left along the hallway. I heard music as I passed Iori's room but nothing from Amada and Arisato's. When I stopped outside Akihiko's door, the muffled thump-thump-thump was a relief. Good, he was in. I raised my hand and rapped smartly on the wooden surface. My confident knock belied my inner emotions; in reality I was restless. Like anxiety and nervousness, it was a feeling that was unusual for me and I did not like it.

The punching stopped. "… Yeah?" His voice was breathless.

I swallowed hard. "It's me," I said. There was a pause before the door slowly opened. His expression was one of curiosity, beads of sweat on his face. He wore one of his boxing gloves and the other was squashed under his armpit. "Hey," he greeted with a small smile.

I licked my lips to buy time, staring right into his grey eyes. "Are you training?" A foolish question but the words were on the tip of my tongue.

"Uh, yeah…" He ran a hand through his silver hair, scratching the back of his neck. "Just thought I'd do some warming up before tonight. Is something up?"

Suddenly I couldn't quite keep my gaze on his any longer. I pushed my hands deeper into the pockets of my coat, gripping my gloves tightly and averted my eyes. My heartbeat pounded in my ears and I knew my face was probably already as red as a beetroot. I had to act natural or he'd know something was up. I steeled myself—I have to do this. I can't run away from him now, not when I'm this close.

There was a hint of confusion in his eyes when I turned back to him. "I'm sorry," I whispered. I had no idea why I felt the need to apologise. "But there's something I need to talk to you about. Can we…" Another painful swallow. "… go out for a walk?"

At first, his eyebrows rose and then arched down in a slight frown as his expression turned grave, perhaps realising I must have something serious to discuss. He stepped back and took off his other glove, tossing them onto his bed. "Of course," he answered. "Let me just get my stuff."

I turned away again, staring down the hallway and fervently hoping none of our younger dorm-mates would intercept us. Akihiko came out with his jacket, pulling on his red scarf around his neck. He checked his cellphone and then put on the leather gloves he always liked. When we reached the ground floor living room, only Yamagishi was there, busying herself with her laptop as always.

"We're going out for a bit," Akihiko said shortly, reaching for the door handle. The green-haired junior studied us for a moment before nodding. "Have fun," she called out, her eyes catching mine. I stared back at her sharply. It almost sounded as if she knew something but the smile she gave me was just one of her usual polite ones. She was already looking back at her computer when Akihiko opened the door. I inwardly chided myself for being so mistrustful.

A stinging, cold breeze swept past my face as we stepped out. I pulled on my woollen gloves with a shiver, glancing up at the sky. It wasn't snowing but there were large, patchy clumps of white along the street paths. My companion zipped up his jacket, tucked in his scarf and turned to me enquiringly. "Where to?" he cordially asked.

Where to, indeed? I had been so focused on talking to him that I had not thought about where to go at all. I voiced the first thought that came to mind, "How about Naganaki Shrine?"

"Cool," he replied and that was the last of our conversation as we made our way to the shrine in an unexpected silence. In my head, I went over the steps I had spent the whole evening working out—sit down, tell him about the Group's situation, the outcome of the meetings and my decision. No beating around the bush and no divulging anything else. Simple.

It started snowing lightly just as we reached our destination. We went up the stairs and for some reason, momentarily stared at the building in front of us before heading towards the playground. Akihiko lazily kicked out at a lump of snow by his feet. I wanted to smile at his sudden boyish playfulness.

"Hard to imagine that all this might be gone tomorrow, huh?" he said, turning to gaze at the shimmering sky, snowflakes landing and camouflaging in his hair. I didn't know what to say to such a sombre question so I merely kept silent. I flicked away some snow on a nearby bench and sat down, tugging my coat closer around myself even though I was actually quite comfortable. Akihiko stood by the swings for a second and then took his place beside me.

"… Is something wrong, Mitsuru? Are you worried about tonight?" he asked, leaning forward towards his knees. I shook my head. "No," I answered truthfully and flashed him a thin smile. "Do I seem nervous to you?"

His forehead furrowed deeply and he shrugged. "Not really… You just… well, uh… anyway, so what was it you wanted to talk to me about?" He smoothly changed the subject.

This was it. With a mind of their own, my hands found their way to my lap and tightened around the ends of my coat slowly. I took a deep breath, once again running through the golden steps in my mind. No turning back now. "… First, I would like to apologise for my behaviour lately." I was very relieved my voice came out calm and collected. "The past few months have been very hectic and trying. The situation with the Kirijo Group is… worrisome without my father. Our stockholders and the board of directors are in turmoil over the leadership of the Group." He was watching me very intently. I was not one to get cold feet but all of a sudden, the words were harder to get out. I bit my lip but forced myself to continue, "It is only natural that the responsibility of leading the company falls on my shoulders, but although the board agrees that I am the rightful heir, they say that I lack the experience and knowledge to lead. They feel that is it necessary to have someone with more familiarity with the business world… someone more capable… and they have decided on the president of one of our close affiliates. They're considering a merge between the two companies to show that the foundation of the Kirijo Group is solidifying." I looked at him, wanting to gauge his reaction, but he simply stared back, his face expressionless and blank.

Could he not have realised what I was trying to say? Was I still not clear enough?

"Akihiko…" I said softly. "I'm engaged."

His grey eyes continued to burn right through me and for the first time in our relationship, I couldn't decipher the emotions they held. I didn't know how to react to him—had he even been listening? He just sat there looking at me, as still as a rock.

Then he abruptly turned and got up from the bench. When he began to take a few steps away, I thought the worst, that he was going to head back without a word, but instead he went over to the large structure made up of iron bars, gloved hands reaching out to absent-mindedly grasp the thick, freezing rods. He kicked out at another lump of snow. I yearned for him to say something but he remained silent for a minute or two before finally speaking, "You've known all this while? Why didn't you say something?" His tone was not one of anger but of dejection and hurt. "Why do you still not trust me?" was what he meant to ask.

"… I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say.

Another heavy silence.

"Who is he?" Akihiko's voice was very low. "That… Kagaya guy or whatever his name was?"

"No. His name is Atsushi Kogi… He's much older than I am, one of the best in his line." I sounded as if I was trying to justify my actions but ended up failing miserably instead.

"You can't honestly be okay with this," he insisted in disbelief. "You've always hated having other people dictate the way you live. If you go ahead with this, you'll spend your whole life being controlled by someone else when you can actually get away for good."

What was he trying to say? He caught my frown and sighed deeply, smoothing back his hair, snow and all. "This is your chance to break away, Mitsuru," he murmured. "At least, that's what I think."

I was taken aback by what he said. Break away—did he mean…? "Are you saying I should run from my responsibilities?" I couldn't help the hard tone in my voice.

"No, of course not. I meant… you don't need someone else running the company. You're the rightful leader of the Group—you said so yourself—so the board shouldn't be telling you what to do, or… or who to marry…"

"But what they've said is true—I am inexperienced. I can't deny that."

"… What do you think your father would say?" At his almost inaudible words, I froze. Yes, what would my father have thought about the whole arrangement? I knew he would have wanted me to be happy and I most certainly could not be so with Kogi, but I had been brought up to understand that sometimes life was never what we wanted it to be. My parents had chosen the same path and thus, I would not run from mine.

"It's for the good of the Group," I answered, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. "I cannot simply act on my emotions and whims without considering the future of the company. You of all people should understand that, Akihiko; you've known me for so long. If marrying Kogi guarantees the stability of the Kirijo Group, then so be it."

The look he gave me was practically a glare and again, when he suddenly turned and walked away, I thought he was going to storm off in anger, but no, he started pacing around aimlessly, restless and silent, his expression darkening to a scowl. Then he came over to stand before me, fists clenching and unclenching by his sides, a hint of a challenge in his stare. I defiantly stared back. "Look into my eyes, Mitsuru, and tell me you fully agree with the board's decision," he whispered. "Tell me you're okay with marrying someone you barely even know."

Perhaps it was the way he towered over me as he said it, or perhaps it was just how I subconsciously started to drown in his grey eyes, thinking how heartbreakingly handsome he was against a backdrop of light, falling snowflakes. Slowly but surely, my previously unbreakable resolve was beginning to fall apart and I found myself whispering back to him, "I was, before." Stop. "When they told me, I agreed to it there and then and I've learnt to accept it in the weeks that followed." Please stop. "But lately, something has been holding me back…" Warning bells, my internal alarm, my brain telling me to stop, but I had no further control of my words. "Someone—" I said under my breath. "—has been holding me back."

I had told myself the whole evening to not even approach that line but in a matter of seconds, I had inevitably crossed it in the end and there was no away I could turn back. My words were vague but the expression on his face was far too disconcerting. I had said too much. Akihiko could be oblivious to things at times but he wasn't stupid. It would only be a matter of time before he realised exactly who I was talking about.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled again, once more not knowing why I was apologising, and moved away from him, standing up. The booming of my heartbeat in my ears drowned all thoughts in my head except for one—I had to get away from him. My defence mechanism of distancing myself from people when I was out of my comfort zone had kicked in. I needed to get back to my room.

It was snowing harder now. I quickly turned to hurry back to the dorm, unable to say anymore to him, but as if sensing my growing anxiety, he swiftly reached out to catch my wrist and stop me. "Mitsuru, no," he called urgently. "Wait, I…" His sentence was left hanging.

Instinct told me to snatch my hand back and leave, but when I saw the look in his eyes, everything flew right out the window at once. I recognised that look—it was the same one I saw everytime I gazed into a mirror. His lips were parted, foggy clouds rising to the air in large puffs. He was breathing hard, appearing to want to say something, but only a pregnant silence filled the atmosphere. I did not know how long we simply stood there staring at one another, gradually getting covered in white.

When his hand gave me a small, light tug, it was enough for my will to bend to his, my walls crumbling away like a house of cards in a raging storm. I stepped towards him and leaned in, pressing my head against his chest, clutching at the fabric of his jacket, inhaling his masculine scent. His arms circled protectively around me and I felt him let out an explosive sigh, as if he had finally found what he had been looking for. It was then that I realised there had always been something between me and Akihiko, hidden deep in our relationship, well away from even our own senses. We got along well, had good chemistry despite moments of awkwardness and if we had only dug deeper, we would have found it sooner.

"… I've been such an idiot. I knew… I knew something had changed between us." His voice, close to my ear, sounded hoarse but strangely calm. "I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid that you wouldn't feel the same way… I know it's selfish, Mitsuru, but even if it's for the good of your father's company, I don't want you marrying that guy. It hurts just thinking about you with someone else. I don't… I don't wanna ruin what we had before, but I don't wanna lose you to someone else either." He pulled me closer as his breaths quickened, wrapping me in the warmth of his body. I wanted to look at him, to look into his eyes but he held on so tightly I couldn't move. "I know I have nothing to offer you," he said very softly. "No money or status to my name, but I want…" He stopped short, taking a deep breath and swallowing hard, as if willing himself the courage to complete the sentence. When he said the words, they were firm, unwavering, sounding almost like a command, "I want you to be with me instead."

That was the closest he could get to an actual confession but it was enough for me to cling on to. So that's why—the explanation to his unexpected actions in Tartarus and his strange behaviour the past few weeks. My cheeks grew hot; I knew I must have been blushing dreadfully and a part of me was actually glad he couldn't see my face. All this time I had thought him indifferent when in reality, we had both been edging towards the same centre from opposite sides.

I did not know how the Kirijo Group would fare without Kogi, or how I would learn to hold on to the reins of this speeding carriage, but I was certain the Group would be strong enough to be able to move past this obstacle. What I lacked in experience I would make up in strength and will. Akihiko was right; the company did not need someone else making its decisions. I was the only heir to this empire my family had build for generations and no matter what people thought about my skills, one way or another, I was going to lead it myself.

"I'll call them tomorrow," I told him, my voice muffled against him and completely forgetting about the imminent battle that night. "I'll call off the engagement. The Kirijo Group doesn't need someone else to manage its affairs. It will be difficult without my father, but we can stand on our own, I'm sure of it."

Akihiko loosened his embrace, allowing me to finally stare into his eyes through the falling snow, grey orbs gleaming in relief and contentment. "You don't have to do it alone, Mitsuru… you know that, don't you?" he said, hands resting on my shoulders. "I'm here for you—always have been and always will be."

I didn't know why what he said brought prickles of tears to my vision and I hastily blinked them away, not quite able to hold his gaze all of a sudden. "Thank you," I quietly, almost shyly, said to him. His fingers moved up to gently brush away the snowflakes on my hair, leather gloves grazing my cheek. When I turned to him, he was staring at my mouth and for one wild, exciting moment, I thought he was going to kiss me, but instead he looked down and reached for my hands and held them tight, his thumb rubbing a knuckle lightly. When he bit his lip, I knew something awful was coming.

"… What if we forget?" he murmured, glancing up at me, his expression troubled. "After tonight… our memories might be… I mean, we might not remember all of this…"

I had not thought about that. It was a terribly distressing thing to even consider. I had no idea what the future would bring for the both of us but as long as we had the present, I knew we could move on from there, and so, with all honesty and sincerity, I declared in a hushed whisper, "I'm yours, Akihiko, heart and soul. Yours and yours alone."

His eyes widened at my words and his breathing turned heavy before he suddenly pulled me back into his arms and hugged me closely, fingers buried deep in my hair, his mouth exhaling next to my ear. I took in his scent again and closed my eyes, feeling his Adam's apple against my forehead. His hand trailed down to my back tentatively and I heard him draw in a long breath. "Mitsuru…" he started hesitantly. "I—"

"Akihiko-senpai, is that you?" At the familiar voice, we broke apart immediately, our movements fluid and almost synchronised, the moment lost forever. I quickly turned and a distance away just by the stairs stood a slightly hunched figure, hands deep in pockets. Arisato… There was a bark and a scampering of paws on stone and Koromaru appeared, rushing to circle around us happily. I felt myself going red and looked away, pulling my scarf tighter around me and crossing my arms, an acid-like feeling in my stomach.

"Minato, what are you doing here?" I could tell Akihiko was trying very hard not to appear annoyed. To be completely honest, I supposed I was a little bothered by the junior's interruption. It sounded as if Akihiko had something important to say to me before…

"Koromaru wanted to go for a walk before our battle tonight. Oh, hey, Mitsuru-senpai." Arisato's tone was innocent but one look at his face told me otherwise.

"… Hello," was all I managed to say.

There was a pause as the three of us just stood there looking at one another awkwardly, not knowing what else to say. When Koromaru came up with something in his mouth and dropped it by Arisato's feet, barking, the bluehead bent down to pick it up. "Oh look," he said mildly. "Koromaru found a Balm of Life." Somehow, the tiny grin he gave us didn't seem to be in relation to the object in his hand at all. Where did Koromaru get it anyway? I wondered if the dog had just taken it off the offering table at the shrine…

"Uh… great work, Koromaru," Akihiko mechanically said, glancing down at our canine companion, whose tail was wagging back and forth excitedly.

"We were just heading back," I announced, my defence mechanism already powering up. There was no way to erase what the junior had seen so the best course of action, I deemed at that time, was to get as far away from him as possible. "See you later, Arisato."

"Later," he responded as Akihiko and I went to the stairs and down to the streets. Koromaru, panting loudly, had run off somewhere. Without another look behind, we walked until we were far enough from the shrine, and then Akihiko's gloved hand found mine. He held on tight, invoking a surge of warmth within me, and muttered something that made me chuckle softly despite the discomfort from before.

"If it had been Shinji," he said drily. "I would have never heard the end of it."

A/N: I really wanted to include a kiss between the two but later felt that it would be too cliche. Oh well, Akihiko would be able to kiss her all he wanted when they got back to the dorm.

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed this collection! Feedback makes me a very happy (future) chemical engineer. I had a lot of fun writing this and think that perhaps I should replace 'short stories' in the summary with something else since some of the chapters are pretty long. I look forward to writing (and reading!) more Aki/Mitsu goodness. :D