A/N- I will tell you right now that this is the most cracktastic-sappy-humorous-crap Nejiten fanfiction I've EVER written. I've probably said it before, but I don't care. This one takes the cake. This one definitely isn't as good as my other one, but I don't care. It played out much better in my head... Oh well. I just had to finish this. Enjoy and review please!
Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto. Sorry, but apparantly one dollar wasn't enough...
The only thought running through Tenten's mind was please kill me.
"C'mon, Tenten. Lighten up! You look like the world is ending tomorrow." Ino giggled and adjusted the red bow holding Sakura's hair out of her face, which matched nicely with her red kimono with cherry flowers on it.
"It is." Tenten muttered, "Or at least yours, Hinata's, and Sakura's."
"Uh-huh. You know you won't carry that threat out, Tenten-chan." Hinata twirled in her light blue kimono with dragonflies on it, adjusting her matching hairpins holding her longer bangs onto her head.
"Yep. I think it looks very pretty." Sakura grinned and turned around to pin Ino's hair back with a butterfly pin on it, which matched her purple kimono with more butterflies on it and slits up to her thighs.
Tenten fidgeted with her looped braids, looking at herself in the full-length mirror. Her dark green kimono had a dragon on it and reached almost all the way down to her bare feet with slits like Ino's. There were two pins on either side of her hair with dragons on it pinning back all but the very middle of her bangs.
She stared. "I'm wearing a dress. It's the Apocolypse." she sighed, uncomfortably tugging at the slits up to her thighs.
"C'mon, Tenten. You'll need to wear a dress to your wedding. That's why we're hleping you now. And you are definitely wearing that color of dress." Ino giggled and smacked Tenten's hand when she started to pull out her hair pins.
"I don't care if it's not 'traditional', I am not wearing this dress. I'll wear pants to my wedding." Tenten grumbled.
"Now, now, Tenten, you know how much Neji likes traditional things." Hinata grinned as Tenten's face went pink.
"W-what is that supposed to mean?" she demanded, and the other girls burst out laughing.
"You know what she means just much as I do." Sakura laughed.
"W-what does Neji have to do with this?" Tenten could feel her face steadily going ten shades of red as she realized what the other girls were getting at.
"You know as well as I do that Neji is going to be your husband!" Ino giggled at Tenten's mortified look, the others joining in.
"Eew! What the heck makes you think that? I don't even like him!" Tenten lied, trying desperately to save face, although she was almost sure it was a lost cause by this point.
"Yes you do." Ino bluntly stated.
"Prove it." Tenten countered triumphantly.
"I found out."
"How?!" Tenten demanded, not sure whether to believe her or not.
"There's a magical thing, Tenten. You ask it a question about someone, and it tells you the truth!" Ino used the falsely sweet, high-pitched voice she used when she was telling a story to the younger kids, and Tenten rolled her eyes and waited for her to knock it off and tell her how she really found out about her crush.
Then Ino grinned a truly devious smile.
"It's called a diary."
Tenten cracked.
"YAMANAKA INO!!" she shouted, seething with anger.
Instead of being scared for her life like the two girls next to her, who were slowly backing out of the room, Ino pushed her luck one step further.
"Yes, Hyuga Tenten?"
Tenten's last strand of patience...
Snapped like a twig.
"You are SO DEAD!!!!" she took off after Ino, who, realizing she had one minute to live, had taken off with a terrified look on her face screaming bloody murder. Fortunately for her, though, Tenten didn't have any experience at all in running in dresses, and she knew much better (from experience) than to run around the Hyuga house in her underwear.
Ino whipped around the corner, executing a fancy spin to avoid Neji and Hiashi running towards the source of the screaming.
"What the-?!" Neji jumped back as Ino sprinted past him.
Poor Ino did not know when enough was enough, either.
"Control your wife, Neji!" she yelled over her shoulder before she pulled open a random closet door and pulled it shut after her with a loud bang.
Neji and Hiashi exchanged incredible bewildered glances, but before either of them could ask for clarification that Neji did not, repeat NOT, have a wife, Tenten rounded the corner.
And ran into Neji.
They collided instantly, falling to the floor. Neji's ninja instincts to get on top of a struggle took over, and he ended up on top.
Poor Neji was shocked to find that Tenten was underneath him in a very... suggestive position.
"U-uh..." Neji and Tenten both turned beet-red and froze on the spot. In front of them, Hiashi cleared his throat. Neji looked up, glad for a reminder to get up, but froze when he saw that his uncle was pointing behind him, and Hanabi, who had followed the screaming (smart girl...) was gesturing wildly behind them and making throat-slitting movements with her finger.
Neji started to get up, but was forced roughly back down by a foot on his back, making Tenten squeak.
"Hiashi-sama, Hanabi-chan, permission to torture and humiliate Tenten and Neji?" Ino silkily asked, sounding very pleased with herself. Neji raised his eyes to make eye-contact with his uncle pleadingly, and Tenten was turning redder and redder underneath him.
"Uh, I don't think-" Hiashi was cut off by his youngest daughter just as he was about to spare them, who was shouting "YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!"
Neji shot her a death glare, but before he could say anything he felt Ino's hand on the back of his head, and he was pushed not-so-gently down...
His lips onto Tenten's.
Oh. My. Gosh.
Tenten looked like a tomato, and Neji's incredibly pale face looked like he had just eaten the curry of life again.
But it didn't stop there. Ino held his head down, smirking all the while.
She seemed to forget that Tenten and Neji, no matter how different, are still humans, and therefore need AIR. Tenten looked like she was about to pass out, and Neji flailed his arms around wildly, finally managing to knock Ino's feet out from under her.
"Oof!" she fell heavily on her butt, but quickly sat on Neji's back so he still couldn't get up. Tenten narrowed her eyes at the blonde, and Neji could tell that it was Ino's last day on Earth.
He sure wouldn't miss her after this stunt.
"Hey, Hanabi-chan! Could you please come sit on your cousin's and future cousin-in-law, please?" Ino called, and Hanabi plopped on Neji's back obligingly.
"...Why do I need to sit on him, though, Ino-chan?" she asked innocently.
"Because you're heavier than I am!" Ino replied, and Hanabi twitched, Neji smirking in triumph against Tenten's lips.
Never, ever, imply that Hanabi Hyuga is heavy.
"You are so dead!!!!!!!!" Hanabi took off after Ino (deja vu much...), Hiashi casting one last glance at his nephew and his teammate and taking off after his daughter so the Yamanaka clan wasn't angry with the Hyuga clan.
Leaving Neji and Tenten on the floor.
"U-um..." Tenten stuttered, poking at Neji, who looked like he had died on top of her, "N-Neji?"
"I-I'm fine." He shook himself and rolled off of her onto the floor, and she hoisted herself up to a sitting position and helped him do the same.
"So..." She blushed. "T-that was so incredibly..." she paused, turning a perfect shade of crimson.
"Awkward?" Neji offered, blushing himself.
"No..." Tenten tucked some hair behind her ears, obviously embarassed. "Perfect."
Neji stared at her, then, on an impulse, leaned forward to kiss her again.
"Glad to hear it."
Tenten smiled and didn't blush at all.
I don't expect anything less from a perfectionist like you, Neji...
My future husband.
My gosh. -drowns in crack and sap- Help! -grabs onto sanity lifeline- ...I am so going to kill myself one of these days. Oh, and I am definitely going to do the Nejiten one hundred oneshots, so stay tuned for that. (I might do a flashback for Tenten's running-around-in-underwear memory -crack warning-, so this isn't the first oneshot like I had planned.) Stay tuned. Please review!