Disclaimer: Not mine. Just the insanely unlikely plot is a product of my imagination.

A/N: Welcome new and old readers. Enjoy. I wrote this at 4 a.m so excuse the effort.


Physically Impossible

"Bullshit."

"Nuh uh, Granger. It's true."

"You're just making it up, Malfoy. It's physically impossible."

"Oh Granger…the skills of those muggle boys must be seriously lacking…or perhaps it's Weasley who can't…rise to the occasion." Malfoy wriggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Hermione snorted. "Please Malfoy, like I would touch Ron with a ten foot clown pole. What makes you think it's even possible?"

"I am the Slytherin sex god, Granger…I would know."

"You're making it up."

"Trust me, I'm not."

"I've never heard Lavender or Ginny mention it and I'm positive they know everything there is to know about doing the dirty."

"Doing the dirty? What eloquent phrasing! Anyway…it's not surprising that they don't know."

Hermione narrowed her eyes dangerously. "What's that suppose to mean Malfoy?"

Malfoy smirked. "Just look at their boyfriends! Weasel and Pothead. It's no wonder they've never heard about it, let alone experienced it."

"Don't insult my friends, Malfoy."

The blond raised a sardonic eyebrow.

"Oh. So you think they can? First hand experience?"

"Don't be crude Malfoy, they're my best friends. They're like brothers to me."

"Very well, but, trust me, it's possible."

Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes. She stood from her perch on a scarlet couch and approached him so they stood nose to nose in the heads private common room.

"It is physically impossible."

Malfoy met her eyes squarely, his gaze intense and unfaltering.

"Nothing is impossible for Draco Malfoy."

Hermione held his gaze for a moment longer before Draco smirked and slowly backed away, his steps arrogant and confident. He turned from her, breaking their stare and began to ascend the stairs to his bedroom.

For a single bewildering moment, Hermione half-expected him to invite to her to come along but that idea was quickly shoved aside, when the blond turned and gave her an amused smile.

"Fine Granger, go consult those little girlfriends of yours, maybe they've heard a few legends."


"It's physically impossible, right?"

Ginny and Lavender exchanged a look.

"Right? I thought you two were the encyclopaedia of sexology!"

Ginny patted her hand, a little condescendingly, Hermione noted and she pulled away hurriedly when the peeved expression began to show on her face.

"I've heard of it." Lavender ventured tentatively, unsure of how to phrase it delicately for the prudish girl in front of her. "Though it's pretty much the stuff of legends. I mean, who doesn't want their boyfriends to have that ability? The problem is…"

Ginny continued hastily, a giggle halfway to her lips. "…that guys are too selfish."

Hermione's brow wrinkled in thought. "What do you mean? What's this have to do with guys being selfish?"

Lavender's high pitched giggles rung through the empty Gryffindor tower.

"Oh Merlin Hermione, you really are such a bookworm!"

Ginny intervened before Hermione could retort.

"Guys just want to get themselves off. A warm hole and a few strokes and they're out." Ginny slapped her hands together for emphasis. "There's barely enough time for one orgasm, god willing there's even that, let alone two or three, as Malfoy is claiming."

Hermione frowned at the crudeness of the speech but had to agree, though her experience was somewhat limited.

"So…it's not physically possible?"

Lavender laughed again, drawing Hermione's eyes to her amused gaze.

"Oh Hermione dear, it's possible. It's an evolutionary feature in females; orgasms are a pulsing of the vaginal walls to ensure maximum sperm collection. So…more orgasms mean more fertility. Its males that only come once. After that…" Lavender waved a dismissive hand.

Hermione nodded along, more able to cope with a scientific explanation.

"So you're saying that, in order for a woman to have multiple orgasms, the man has to have…"

"Good equipment." Ginny quipped.

"Endurance." Lavender added.

"And…they have to have the desire to please." Ginny and Lavender exchanged another cryptic look.

Hermione blushed at the next question. "Have either of you…"

Lavender snorted. "Ron isn't the most patient of lovers…nor the most selfless…nor the best endowed…though he does have an appetite; must be a Weasley thing…no offence Ginny."

Ginny waved her off, more relieved that Lavender had not spouted too much about her brother's prowess in the bedroom.

"And Harry…hmm…he's more of a…one timer kind of guy…if you get my drift."

Hermione felt sick listening but nodded nonetheless.

The two girls opposite her shook their heads in the negative, answering her question definitively.

"So how do you know it's possible, for certain?"

Both Ginny and Lavender shrugged. "A guy who meets the criteria is as rare as a blue moon, but it doesn't mean that they're extinct. Plus, even if they do exist, there is one more criterion which should be met in order for the sex to be phenomenal."

"Which is?"

Ginny leaned forward as if she were sharing some magnificent secret.

"They have to love you."

Hermione laughed. "Please…even I know that love isn't absolutely conducive to good sex."

Lavender shook her head piteously. "Don't you get it Hermione? If they love you, they're more eager to please, hence longer and better sex."

"So? What if a guy is just egotistical and likes the girl to scream his name?"

Ginny bit her lip. "That's actually a really good point. Fine. So the guy is either an arrogant ass or he's in love with you. Both are good for multiple orgasms."

Lavender intervened, leaning forward; she laid a hand on Hermione's arm.

"Don't even bother thinking about it, Mione. Guys like that go for tall, leggy, exotic amazons."

Not you.

The words hung unspoken between the trio and Hermione stiffened at the implication but nodded quickly. She stood rapidly from her seat and excused herself, claiming that she had homework to do in the library.

The other two thought nothing of the excuse. After all, Hermione was their resident bookworm.

Hermione's smile faded from her face as soon as she left the fat lady's portrait. She seethed quietly at what had been implied and stomped along the corridors, intent and hell-bent on relieving herself of her anger.

How dare they? Okay, fine! So Hermione wasn't the prettiest woman to have lived, but those two weren't exactly prized pigs themselves. It's not like she couldn't get a boyfriend. She had dated Ron (mistake) and she had had a muggle boyfriend over the recent summer (ignorant oaf)…it's not like she wore an iron chastity belt and lived in some isolated tower.

Hermione snickered at the thought. Technically…Lavender and Ginny were the ones living in an isolated tower…if Gryffindor tower could be considered isolated.

Her anger fading from her steps, Hermione, as Hermione does, chose to take the logical choice. Now that she had done the theoretical research, she needed to find some physical evidence. A first-hand account wouldn't go amiss.

Problem was…both Lavender and Ginny hadn't any such experience and there was no other girl Hermione felt close enough to in order to ask such questions.

As she stepped into the heads common room, she spotted a shock of blond hair near the roaring fire. As it was nearly Christmas, Draco Malfoy was wearing a tight black sweater, his fingers wrapped around the glass of amber liquid, no doubt contraband alcohol.

When she seated herself opposite him, his eyes darted up to give her flushed appearance a sweeping glance.

"You look angry." He observed.

"I'm not." Hermione huffed.

Draco just nodded slightly. He moved forward, extending the glass towards her, his warm fingers pushing at hers until she accepted it.

Hermione stared down at the liquid suspiciously, swirling the amber substance as she gazed at it through the fire.

"Its just brandy. It'll warm you up." As if reading her mind, he added. "It's not poisoned."

Throwing caution to the wind in the wake of her frustration with Lavender and Ginny, Hermione tossed back the liquid and hissed as the liquid burned a path down her throat and settled like a warm fire in the pit of her stomach.

She coughed a little but soon adjusted to the sensation. Handing back the glass, Hermione found the nerve to meet the grey eyes studying her intently.

"I asked the girls about whether it's physically possible."

Draco Malfoy leaned back elegantly, looking every bit the potentate of yesteryear.

"And?"

"They think it is," she ventured hesitantly. "But they think it's near impossible to find a guy who…who is…well…up to the challenge."

There was a moment of tense silence as Hermione shifted nervously in her seat. She slipped off her shoes and tucked her legs protectively underneath her before daring to meet Draco's eyes once more.

He was smirking at her. Not his usual malicious smirk but something much more alluring. Draco shifted off his seat, his eyes never leaving hers for a moment, as he moved to kneel before her.

"Well. I'm…up…to the challenge." His voice held all manner of dark promises, the deep timbre felt almost like a physical presence, like fingers dancing up her thigh.

Hermione couldn't help but dart a glance down to his crotch before blushing furiously and pulling her eyes up to rest on his throat. He certainly was up to the challenge, if the bulge there was anything to go by.

Slender, elegant fingers glided across the bare skin above her knee socks and Hermione jolted at the contact as she attempted to shy away from his roving hands.

He was nearly leaning on her now, his form almost completely pressed to her and Hermione was enveloped by a cloud of scent, the alluring fragrance drugging her slowly as her breath sped up and her heart raced at a dangerous pace.

Draco drew her from the chair, his hands gripping her wrists like iron shackles. He brought her close to him and a hand glided down her waist and snaked around her petite form, pressing her heated body to his.

Chest to chest.

Hip to hip.

…And Hermione moaned.

He was hard all over. Solid muscle and heated flesh.

She could feel the hard muscle of his thigh pressed against her, pushing her backward until her back hit the wall beside the fire place. Draco pressed harder, his heated body crushing her into the cool stone wall. Her mind was suddenly slow and sluggish, drunk on desire; her hands, released from his solid grip tangled in his hair and glided up his chest.

Quicksilver eyes bored into hers, burning her from the soul outwards, making her burn hot, making her itch for something…something…

Her small hand rested on his chest and for a startling moment Hermione felt the racing heartbeat beneath her fingers.

Hermione jolted, the fog of desire clearing slowly from her mind, shocking her back into reality. The hand buried in his hair instantly joined the other, planted firmly on his chest and Hermione began pushing at him, fear seeping in, her panic slicing through the fog of lust.

The moment of clarity dawned.

"No! Get off me Malfoy! No!"

Draco's gaze never wavered for a second, but his body was demanding action, movement…anything. While Hermione protested, her small hands pushing uselessly against his chest, he inserted his thighs between hers and pried them apart. He dragged his eyes away from her gaze and glanced down. Her modest school skirt was riding up, revealing milky white thighs, which quivered with the force of her repeated attempts to close her legs.

Draco didn't care. He was beyond thought. He pushed forward, his erect cock settling in the niche he created. Heat greeted him and Draco growled quietly, the deep rumble vibrating through her fingers. His hips jerked, pushing his cock against her sweet cunt, his thrusts stopped only by a few thin layers of cloth.

Hermione whimpered at the burning sensation as lust raced through her veins. Her fingers fell away from his chest and pressed into the cold stone wall. Almost unwillingly, her hips rolled against his, answering him, thrust for thrust.

A hiss escaped Draco's lips as his hips grinded erotically against hers, the tip of his cock pressing desperately against her heat. Hermione moaned desperately. Feral moans escaped her throat as she threw her head back against the wall, her curls spilling down her back while Draco smiled darkly at the image she made.

He lowered his head to her neck, his heated mouth quickly latched onto the sweet flesh. His teeth nipped and tasted, his tongue dancing across her speedy pulse while his hips continued the same carnal rhythm.

Hermione was whimpering, liquid heat soaking her underwear as her hands clenched in his silky hair. She brought his head up from his assault on her neck and slammed her lips down on his. She could feel his smirk but didn't care. Her tongue pried open his lips and swept into the warm cavern, exploring his taste and nipping at his bottom lip.

Draco pulled away slightly; his arms wrapped around her while a hand stole under her skirt and fingered the edges of her underwear. The friction was almost too much to bear for Hermione. Her hips jerked violently causing Draco to moan gutturally, digging his long fingers into the soft flesh of her arse.

"That's right Hermione. Moan for me, fuck baby, moan for me."

Hermione whimpered desperately as Draco ripped her underwear, discarding it in the fire and shifted her so that she could wrap her legs around his waist. Their lips fused together once more, their tongues battling for dominance as Draco's fingers roughly parted her soaking wet folds and thrust in ruthlessly, the digits instantly soaked by her wet cunt. Hermione felt the intrusion and welcomed it with pleasure. Her inner muscles clenched around him and rode him, searching for release.

Draco's eyes were clenched shut, his breathing harsh as his lips worked against hers. He inserted another finger into her soaking hot pussy and moaned.

"Baby, let's make a bet."

Hermione barely heard him. All she could think of were those wonderful long fingers which were thrusting and beckoning inside her. Merlin, who knew what that pale little ferret was capable of. Perhaps all those over-exaggerated rumours were true.

"Hmm…Bet?"

He chuckled, the sound husky and erotic to her ears. "Yes, baby, a bet. If I can make you come twice, in a single arousal, you can declare to the entire great hall, tomorrow, at breakfast, that you're in love with me and have agreed to be my girlfriend…in front of all the students…and teachers."

Her sweet cunt was quivering madly, clenching and unclenching spasmodically around his long talented fingers. Fuck, he couldn't wait to be inside of her.

"What?" He moaned breathlessly into her neck.

"Three." She repeated impatiently. "Three times in one go. And if you lose…you're going to declare to the great hall that…"

"I love you and want to be your boyfriend…done!" He chuckled, sucking and nipping at her flesh, his fingers pumped faster and faster.

Hermione jerked in response and suppressed a deep animalistic groan.

"No," She panted, nearly unable to keep track of coherent thought, "You'll tell the entire student body and staff that you can't live up to your reputation of Slytherin sex god."

Draco was well beyond thought. He was so damn hard that if he didn't fuck her here, now, he was sure that he wouldn't survive the night. He just wanted to be inside her, slide his fat, pulsing cock into that sweet tight pussy and thrust until she collapsed from exhaustion. Hell, not just that. He wanted to fall asleep with his cock still buried inside her…he wanted to wake up, still buried inside her, to feel himself harden as her pussy became wet with lust even though she was still half unconscious. Even now, when he had barely begun to pleasure her, her cunt was covered with cream, slick and sweet, just like he'd always imagined. There was no way he could give her up now…not even for what she was suggesting.

"Deal."

He didn't mince words, it seemed. Instead, he stripped her of what remained of her clothes and laid her in front of the roaring fire. He followed soon after, the heated flesh of his thighs straddling her legs. He was kneeling above her, his hands groping and teasing her breasts, fascinated with the perfect white globes of soft flesh.

Hermione moaned she couldn't help it; there was a pool of liquid heat which melted between her legs, coated her thighs and dripped onto the rug beneath her wriggling form. Gasping, she watched as he reared back, allowing her a perfect view of the magnificent organ between his legs.

It was a beautiful piece of art, strong, hard and above all else…big. Merlin, it was monstrous in its beauty and size, she was afraid he'd never fit inside her. Draco smirked at her, his eyes taking in her gaze in its heated appraisal.

"I trust that you're suitably impressed."

Hermione never had time to reply. In an instant, he was on top of her, crushing her into the soft carpeted floor. With one quick movement, he impaled her onto his cock, burying himself to the hilt as she arched off the floor, screaming as loudly as her voice would allow.

She couldn't think, wouldn't think. Not when such overwhelming pleasure was scorching through her veins like molten lava. She didn't care now whether she seemed too wild…too uninhibited. She was keening loudly, that sweet spot between her legs clamping down greedily on his cock, wanting more, needing more, never satiated with just one stroke…always craving one more…always one more.

She must have been sobbing because she felt wetness on her cheeks. The pleasure was torturous, so intense that it was painful…pulled every nerve until she was on edge and thrashing from the fire that incinerated her, starting from her core, all because of that cock buried so deep inside her quivering body.

And all that time…Draco had not moved an inch. Not a single fucking inch.

He was watching her, his eyes dominated by large dilated midnight pupils, aroused by the desperate noises she was making. It was such sweet success, to strip Hermione Granger of all that was prim and proper in her manner and appearance…he loved the thought that he was the only one able to bare her to the world in this raw, unadulterated form. A woman at her most primal instinct.

Slowly, aware of the sting of pain and the torrent of pleasure it caused her, Draco drew his cock out of her, pulling out almost fully until the tip was nestled at her slick nether lips, drawing slow, torrid circles as she cried desperately for him to fill her again, wanting that burning sensation of being fucked by a man who meant every stroke and every thrust.

Draco was only too happy to comply. Swallowing his own violent need for release, he moved slowly, easing himself into her, shifting so that he rubbed gently against her clit with his repeated shallow strokes. Fuck, his cock was throbbing viciously, a haze of lust clouding his senses. The dark side of him told him to move, to enjoy the sweet willing body beneath his with a frenzied fucking and to leave the agony of this torture for another time.

No! He shook his head. Three times. He'd make her orgasm three times and then he could have her, fuck her like a wild beast for the rest of her life. Clenching his teeth, he stared into her misty eyes and resumed his patient and sure strokes, shallow and grinding. Every ridge of his cock rubbed against the walls of her pussy, drawing her slowly, ever so slowly towards an unknown precipice.

Hermione couldn't stand it. She wanted it harder. Faster. She wanted to be slammed into and fucked so desperately that she bruised, so that she was shoved across the carpeted floor in a tumult of orgasms and sensation.

She voiced her thoughts, gasping out the words in between moans.

Draco laughed, his thrusts still slow and shallow.

"All in good time baby."

But just to please her, Draco drove hard into her suddenly, savouring the exquisite moan which was torn from her throat.

The ache was intensifying between her legs, there was something brilliant just beyond this physical torture and Hermione could almost touch the wondrous euphoria which was starting to engulf her cunt. Draco could feel her, she knew he could. She could see the way his teeth were clenched harder and she could tell that he felt every single vicious pulsing of her pussy, every single time those walls became slicker and slicker with her juices.

"Come on Hermione. Moan for me…moan…come baby…let it go…there's so much more to go…"

And she did, the slow teasing pace never sped up and never stopped but that was all she needed. When Malfoy buried himself hilt deep inside her, her pussy clamped down and her hot slick walls tried desperately to milk him, wanting to feel his hot cum lick the inside of her cunt, coat every single inch of her convulsing flesh.

But he didn't. Draco screwed his eyes shut and told himself to ride that dark wave of pleasure. Without even waiting for that first storm to pass, Draco thrust hard, drove home his cock with an expression of the violent fucking she was bound to receive later when his control finally snapped. But for now…he contented himself with a few desperate shoves into that blistering treasure of flesh and pleasure and moaned with her when her voice soared free from her sweet parted lips, stealing her breath and her will.

"Draco…I don't care about the bet anymore…just please…Merlin…please…"

Draco was laughing darkly, his eyes fixed on the magnificent sight of Hermione begging.

"I have something to prove darling…but I'll indulge you…just for a moment."

His pace exploded, all of sudden the slow shallow movements morphed into feral deep thrusts as he slammed into her repeatedly, brutal hard movements which forced her body to stretch to its limits…and Hermione loved it. It felt so damn good…like she was caught in a storm as unstoppable as the tides; every inch of her pussy was being rubbed and stroked, bringing her nerves to life. She was screaming bloody murder, she could hear herself, words which tumbled from her lips were incomprehensible, mere ruins of dark promises and rewards for Draco if he continued like he did.

But then…the pace slowed, Draco drew himself slowly and completely out of her pussy, then sunk in with just that same slow pace until he was submerged completely. He started again, his deep rumbling laughter filling her ears as she began to whimper once more.

In and out, in and out, in and out.

Shifting slightly, he drew her legs around his waist so that he could sit up a little as he moved within her, his eyes fixated on that sweet junction where their bodies met. He watched, utterly fascinated, as his cock slid leisurely out of her pussy, coated in her silken juices, his cock shining in the firelight.

With another deep rumbling laugh of satisfaction, Draco picked up the pace again. He slammed into her relentlessly, every thrust indicating the deep and controlled savagery which existed within Draco's wild side.

Hermione's voice was hoarse with the effort; she could only moan now as she writhed and thrashed beneath his rough attack, her hips met his thrust for thrust, not caring if she bruised or bled…as long as he never stopped, never deprived her of that monster between his legs.

There! Hermione grabbed for the exhilarating sensation once more as her core convulsed with shock and pure, agonizing pleasure. Her world was torn apart in an instant then rebuilt with the waves of sinister, retreating pleasure which was her orgasm.

It wasn't possible…damn it…maybe…just maybe…

Draco didn't let her finish the thought. His control was slipping fast and he couldn't keep up the teasing pace any more. He wanted release…the rougher the better. He raised her legs so that they rested precariously on his shoulders and smirked down at her shocked expression.

Her beautiful hot little mouth opened to a perfect 'O' as Draco drove deep, the angle allowing him to slide so deep within her, Hermione was afraid he could never get out. But he did. He drew out quickly and thrust again. Their pace grew more frenzied and Hermione arched herself completely off the floor so that she could push her battered, throbbing cunt against his cock, wanting nothing more than to go deeper, harder and faster.

Draco clamped his fingers onto her hips and pushed her to meet his every thrust with a ferocity which would shock any on-lookers but Hermione didn't mind, hell, she just wanted it more…She could tell he was close…on the verge of exploding. His fat cock was swelling, hardening, stretching her so that she was sure her flesh would tear.

She couldn't hold on. She no longer cared if he won the bet as long as she could get to the end. This one was bigger…more intense than the previous, something about sharing the pleasure and agony with him just made it all the more thrilling. He was fucking her so hard…his body lost so deeply in hers…Merlin, this man had to be some kind of demigod. Most men could barely make it to the woman's first, let alone third orgasm and yet…there he was above her…moaning in the most guttural way she had ever heard and then…with one final vicious thrust…

Nirvana.

The room was engulfed in silence. She couldn't make a single noise as the deep gut wrenching pleasure engulfed her…and neither, it seemed, could he. Draco's mouth was held in a silent scream, his eyes wide and fixated upon hers. She could not control the deep desperate jerks of her hips as the orgasm swept through her body like a torrential maelstrom, nor could Draco contain the continual shallow reckless thrusts as he spilled long spurts of his cum inside her battered pussy.

When finally her other senses had returned to her, Hermione let her legs fall from his shoulders. After the burning sensation of his cum faded, a numb senseless state consumed her mind. She felt at that moment, utterly and completely boneless. The last thing she was aware of before she succumbed to the dark alluring depths of dreamless sleep was Draco; his smirk was fixed firmly on his face as her eyes began fluttering shut.

"I win."


The next time Hermione woke up, she was lying flat on her stomach on a huge bed of emerald silk sheets. For a moment she felt terribly disorientated until she felt that oh so welcome surge of pleasure from between her thighs.

She raised herself slowly onto her elbows and looked back only to be greeted by the magnificent sight of Draco Malfoy naked and rather flushed. She wriggled a little under his gaze and instantly understood why she woke.

The bastard was already fucking her.

She could feel his long, thick cock buried inside her pussy from behind and he was thrusting gently and deeply, in and out, rousing her from her sleepy state. He gave her a satisfied smirk and gave a harder thrust to please her.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Draco shrugged. "I had the most naughty dream about fucking you from behind and I woke up in a…rather uncomfortable state and since you're to blame for my constant…ahem…state of arousal, I thought you might like to help me with it. Besides, I remembered that you might need a little help with your back."

"My back…what? Oh! Damn…those carpet burns!"

Draco just laughed. He produced a jar and unscrewed the lid. Slowly, he dipped his fingers in and drew out a healthy dollop of cool ointment and then proceeded to rub it thoroughly into her back, all the while keeping his hips rocking at a deep, satisfying pace.

Hunger, desire and pleasure rolled through her body once more and Hermione settled in for a little before breakfast treat.


Dressed demurely in a modest school skirt and white blouse, Hermione Granger looked nothing like the little goddess he had made love to this morning in the shower. Instead she looked like Granger, the perpetual know-it-all Gryffindor with her two side-kicks.

The red head on her left muttered something in her ear and leaned in closer. Granger shrugged him off, much to displeasure, and looked up till she met his eyes.

Draco smirked and nodded.

Hermione stood from her seat at the Gryffindor table, much to the shock of most of its occupants, and proceeded to the Slytherin table straight opposite. Pushing two third years out of the way, she scaled the bench and then stepped gracefully on the large table.

With a little more sass than Hermione Granger possessed, Draco watched as she strut down the length of the wooden platform like it was a runway, kicking away plates and goblets, displacing people as she went along.

As all of the Hogwarts students and staff watched on befuddled, Hermione Granger stopped in front of Draco Malfoy and fisted her hands in his tailored school robes. She drew him from his seat, forced him to climb onto the table beside her and promptly demonstrated to the entire school exactly how a woman publicly staked her claim.

After Draco was allowed to pull away a tad bit breathless but rather smug as he cast a smirk at the male thirds of the golden trio, Hermione amplified her voice so that it could be heard throughout the hall.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present, Draco Malfoy, Slytherin sex god, prince of the snakes, my boyfriend and the love of my life!"

There was a stunning moment of dead silence before hesitant applause broke out, ironically starting from his house, then spreading like wildfire throughout the hall. But hell, he didn't care, Hermione was kissing him again and doing all sorts of unspeakable things with her tongue. When they finally stopped for breath, Draco looked over to the Gryffindor table mainly to gloat and found only Pothead, looking an ugly shade of puce that would have made his uncle Vernon proud. Weasley was somewhere on the floor…he had fainted dead away.

Physically impossible…pfft…my arse.


A/N: Ok...a little more than my usual offering but I have insomnia these days as well as horrendous writers block!

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