If I Lay Here
by generalquistis.
Let's waste time chasing cars around our heads
It just rained. The smell of damp soil and wet concrete coming from outside has reached the ratty-looking room where he had been stationed for 2 days already. Just watching and spying on people according to Mello's orders.
He left one of the windows open to let the smell of cigarettes out and to make an effort to let some fresh air in. However, because of the rain, even the room felt damp and cold for him. His long-sleeved striped top failed to do the trick of keeping him warm enough. He still felt a bit cold because of the sudden rainy weather.
"It's official. Weather stations lie." he mumbled to himself while surfing through channels on the small television set he had put up beside the monitoring and spying devices on the floor.
It was still a little cloudy outside with a few rays of sunlight escaping from between the small spaces of the thick dark clouds. The blinds were shut but he could still watch the world outside through the cameras. Mello warned him not to be seen or have his face exposed to anybody or he could risk getting killed by Kira. Although he wanted to take a break from spying on suspicious behavior coming from Mogi or Misa, he still decided to stay put in that small ratty apartment and play games, smoke, and eat junk food all day.
The batteries of his Nintendo DS and Sony PSP have been drained empty so he had to charge them simultaneously. The only entertainment possible for that moment came in the form of local TV stations and the live feed provided by the cameras monitoring the outside. He observed the way people were dressed: black, dull, gray, colors bored him. However, he realized that people tend to wear darker colors for gloomy weather. Perhaps it's a way to keep themselves warm since darker colors tend to absorb and retain heat.
In the middle of contemplation about colors and people's fashion sense, something caught his attention that made him shift his gaze to the other monitor focused at the main entrance of the hotel where Misa Amane was staying.
There she was, wearing a white dress, a hooded jacket with pink and white stripes, and beige knee-high boots. She had no umbrella and she was observing the condition of the clouds from where she was standing.
As he quietly observed her, he could not help but smile and wonder if he could go there and offer her an umbrella or something. Without thinking things through, he got up from his chair, put on his vest, and left the room, not even bothering to bring his mobile phone with him, let alone wear his goggles.
As soon as he arrived downstairs, he began to feel the jitters getting the best of him. Looking at her from across the street made him feel bothered, wondering if he could impress her or something. The thought of the possibility of a language barrier between them made him feel more insecure about himself. "Big deal. I learned Japanese when I was in Wammy's House as one of the required foreign languages to study so... it shouldn't be a big problem..." He just disregarded the fact that he almost failed that class.
However, he was not careful when he crossed the street. Misa saw how close he got to almost getting hit by a speeding car and a large 10-wheeler truck. Still, she was impressed that he managed to avoid those vehicles and he still appeared calm and cool when he arrived by her side. He looked down at her. She was not that tall compared to Mello's friend, Halle, who towered over him in her 5'10" frame. He found it ideal that Misa was less than 5 feet tall, perfect for a guy who isn't that tall like him. He also noticed the fact that she was gaping at him. "...Light? Is that you?" she asked in her native tongue.
He felt as if daggers pierced through his chest. "Light?" he asked. He still managed to force a smile and shook his head, deciding to answer in her language. "No, I'm sorry." and he turned away, deciding that maybe it's not a good idea to pursue her after all just because he looks like Light Yagami, the main suspect.
"Wait!"
What's that? Did she just call out to him? He stopped in his tracks and coolly turned around to face her again. The look on her face struck him because a silly smile was plastered on her lips. "Misa-misa is sorry. Misa knows you're not Light. Misa was just playing with you." She pointed out before skipping towards him. "My name is Misa Amane." She introduced.
He looked at her hand that was outstretched to him in a handshake. He noticed the features of her palm and her fingers. They were fair and delicate, and her nails were perfectly manicured with black nail polish painted on them. He lifted his gaze to her eyes as he reached out and took her hand, discreetly caressing the softness of her skin before enclosing her hand in his as an acceptance of the handshake. "…Matt." He introduced himself. As much as he would like to say his real name, he knew he could not, so he mentioned the alias that the old man who raised him had given to him the first time he entered that orphanage in Winchester, England.
Misa eagerly shook his hand and smiled sweetly at him. It was only after a few more seconds before she realized that she had been holding his hand for a long time already. She pulled away and placed her hands behind her back while giggling sheepishly. "I'm sorry." She said.
"It's okay." He answered coolly.
She looked at him in amazement. "I'm really happy that there is someone else here that speaks my language. Misa's getting bored just talking to Mochichi!" she said. "Are you Japanese, too?" she asked while looking at his facial features, leaning closely to examine his nose, eyes, and lips. "Hmm… I don't think so." She herself was able to conclude that he was not from her hometown.
"I'm from England." He said.
"Oooh! British man!" she said excitedly, clapping her hands while jumping up and down. "Misa-misa hasn't been to England yet. Is it really foggy in London?" she asked.
Matt was surprised with the carefree spirit that Misa has. The more he felt drawn to her because of her behavior and attitude. "…Er… sometimes." He was not really thinking when he answered her question because he was enamored with the way she was talking to him and behaving towards him.
The sound of thunder roared above them and the rays of sunlight that seeped through the small spaces between the clouds slowly faded as thicker dark clouds began to form.
"I think it's going to rain again." Misa said in a disappointed manner. Matt took a mental picture of her lips curving into a frustrated pout. He breathed in, trying to encourage himself to speak up, "Would you like to go somewhere? Like, maybe we could have some coffee or something… take a stroll?" he stammered.
He wondered if Misa even thought about his question because normally, a person would not go with strangers whom they have just met. Isn't she even concerned about her safety? "Okay! Misa-misa would like to go with Matty-Watty!" she said happily.
Matty-Watty?
He could not help but smile and he let out a soft chuckle. Suddenly she has a nickname for him. "Uh… are you sure it's okay for you to go with me?" she asked.
She grabbed hold of his arm. "Yes, it's okay. I asked permission from Mochichi already." She said stubbornly.
"No you didn't." he was thinking to himself. But what the hell. For the first time in his life, he gets to date a real girl and not somebody from a Dating Sim game or something. He knew she escaped from her hotel room because of boredom and she wanted to take a tour around the area by herself without her "bodyguard", Mogi.
While they were walking down the street, she spoke up again with a warning tone, "Just so you know, this isn't a date, okay?"
He felt as if daggers pierced through his chest again. "…Date? Whoever said this was a date?" he asked defensively, pretending not to know anything.
She smiled. "Because Misa-misa has a boyfriend back in Japan. If he finds out about Misa-misa going out with Matty-Watty who looks like him, he might get jealous…" and she trailed off. Matt also observed that the smile on her face faded and she bowed down. "Oh well… he'll never know if Mochichi doesn't tell. And if ever he finds out, I don't think he'll… care… anyway." She began to mutter to herself, thinking that Matt could not hear her.
He heard everything she said but what bothered her was the sudden sadness in her face. "Misa, are you okay?" he asked kindly.
She looked at him and smiled sweetly, although he knew very well that that smile was just an effort to mask her inner sadness. "Misa-misa is just hungry." She explained.
Matt spotted a McDonald's branch a few blocks from where they were and urged her that they should go there. With only a little money to spare, he figured that maybe a cheap fastfood joint would be the best place for them to go so he can at least make an effort turn their little get-together as a "date" by paying for their meal. "Why, oh why did I leave my wallet in my room?" he thought to himself.
"But McDonald's is fattening!" she reasoned. "Misa-misa cannot get fat or Light and the rest of the world will hate her!" she pointed out.
Matt was surprised with what she said. However, he still smiled and looked at her reassuringly. "Well I am not the rest of the world."
He did not know it but his words meant a lot to Misa. It was the first time somebody has ever told her that they'd accept her for no matter who she is.
We don't need anything or anyone
So Matt and Misa ate their meal at McDonald's and they ordered supersized meals for themselves. Misa told him stories about her career as a model/actress/idol in Japan while they were eating and he just sat there listening eagerly to her. He did not mind that she has not been asking him questions about his life or his career, which he thought was beneficial for him at that moment. He figured that that was not the right time for her to get to know him better even though he wanted so much to tell her more about himself already.
Yes, Matt, simply wrong-timing, he told himself in silence while chewing on a French fry. "But this moment cannot wait." He reminded himself quietly. He knew he has always been the type to seize any opportunity that comes his way and he knew that if he refused to follow his impulse to leave his ratty apartment room to meet Misa across the street, he would regret that action for the rest of his life.
Just seize the day. Think that there's no Kira, no Near, no Mello, no nothing. It's just you and Misa now.
But every moment with her was beginning to count and he just wished that it would last forever. Unfortunately, things won't work that day. He wondered that if his life were a video game, he'd find a save point by the trash in that fastfood joint and save that moment in his memory card so he can repeatedly play it everytime he wanted to.
After eating, Misa admitted that she had never felt so satisfied by eating that much before. "I don't even feel guilty that I binged!" she added proudly.
He just sat there and smiled. "Just don't overdo it. Too much fatty foods can make you sick and unhealthy. You wouldn't want to die young, right?" he asked with a wink.
She laughed. "I won't." she told him. "So, where are we going next?" she asked. But before he could suggest something, she suggested that they go shopping.
Shopping? But oh well, whatever makes her happy, Matt, he told himself. And as long as he can stay with her…
We'll do it all—everything on our own. We don't need anything or anyone
But it rained on their way to the mall and they had no umbrella or any rain gear with them. The hood of Misa's jacket was not enough, too, but Matt still decided to take off his vest and used it to shield her head against the rain. She looked at him in surprise, observing the way he was looking at her. Somehow, she could feel her heart breaking but she still made sure that she smiled kindly at him. She lowered her gaze to the ground as they continued to walk together with her arm hooked around his.
She could not determine why but she could feel that he was the first man who has ever looked at her sincerely like that. He may look like Light but comparing them made her feel that Matt was the real deal. Still, her conflicting thoughts began to disregard Matt's actions eventually, recognizing the fact that he is, after all, still a stranger compared to Light whom she had known for several years already.
But that moment with Matt felt so real. "Oh I know. Misa-misa will just forget this ever happened or I'll keep things to myself instead so Light wouldn't find out about it. But…" she was rambling in her thoughts as she looked up at him and observed the expression on his face. There was just something about him that really intrigues her but she could not put her finger on it. "This is bad. But like what I'm planning to do, nobody will know about this." She decided silently. And she tilted her head to the side. "Oooh! I know why Misa-misa is attracted to Matty-Watty! I think it's because he looks like Light!" she thought to herself before finally realizing that he had been looking at her, too. She felt the warmth forming on her cheeks and ears so she looked away as fast as she could. "Misa-misa is sorry!" she apologized as she moved her arm away from his and just clasped her hands together.
He wondered why she was acting strangely just as he saw an empty waiting shed where they can wait for the rain to stop.
I need your grace to remind me to find my own
They stayed underneath the waiting shed and sat on the ground lazily while wondering when the rain would stop pouring. The streets seemed deserted with not much people walking in the sidewalks. Various automobiles were the only ones passing by and nobody else seemed to notice them there.
"Matty-Watty," Misa began as she held his vest closer to herself in an effort to keep herself warmer.
Matt knew he had a pack of cigarettes in his pocket but although he felt a little cold already, he still refused to smoke no matter how much he wanted to. Out of respect for her, he decided. He just looked at her curiously.
She smiled sweetly at him. "Misa-misa would like to say thank you to Matty-Watty."
He was quiet, contemplating on her words.
"You're really nice to me and I appreciate that." she said.
But he could not find the right words to use as a response so he just smiled before looking away.
"Thank you for staying with Misa-misa." She said.
He did not move. "You're always welcome." He answered with a low voice that seemed unsure. Was she saying that out of sincerity or just because she thinks he looks like her boyfriend?
"Hey, if you happen to drop by in Japan, make sure to find me, okay?"
He pursed his lips before looking up at the clouds and the raindrops falling from them The rain was starting to cease and he secretly loathed that moment in his mind. He wished the rain would pour forever so he can just stay under that shed with her for as long as he wants. "Okay." Was his answer.
The rain stopped. It was time for her to go back home and as for him, he needed to get back to his ratty apartment and observe her from afar again.
If I lay here…
His entire life flashed before his eyes. He never imagined being gunned down by those idiot bodyguards of Kiyomi Takada. He was not sure how many bullets have pierced through his body but he knew that there were enough of them to damage his vital organs.
It happened so fast that he did not have any more time to react or say something. Part of him was cursing Mello for getting him into that kind of mess, part of him was scolding himself for forgetting to charge his Nintendo DS again, and another part of him was double-checking all the memorable moments in his life, trying to verify whether he was able to live entirely for every moment he has encountered in his short life.
The faces became blurry just as he fell to the ground. "Oh shit, I left the radio on." He rambled in his head. A part of him began to nag him on thinking about such things right before he is subjected to die. A song was playing and it resonated in his head: If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?
He could not even smile when he saw her face in his mind, wondering where she was and remembering her words, "Hey, if you happen to drop by in Japan, make sure to find me, okay?"
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
It was the afternoon of January 28, 2010. Light was nowhere to be found. Somehow, she felt empty and lost but she did not know why—as if a big part of her is missing from deep inside. She looked out of her window and watched the cars on the street. She turned to the TV when she heard the announcement of the Sakura TV station about a shootout that happened at the time when Takada was kidnapped by somebody riding a motorcycle. The report revealed that the man in the motorcycle had an accomplice who was gunned down by Takada's bodyguards upon getting cornered by them in an intersection.
They displayed a picture of the accomplice and revealed the name, too. "A young man identified later on by the police as Mail Jeevas from…"
Matt! Her mind was screaming. Of course she remembered him. How could she forget him?
All that I am, all that I ever was is here in your perfect eyes--they're all I can see.
She could recall staring at the setting sun before she landed on the hard concrete floor. So how come she could feel water droplets hitting her skin from the skies? But she could not move. She could not even respond to the people who have surrounded her as she lay still on the street.
Rain?
Her entire life began to flash before her eyes. She hoped to see Light for the last time, but the last image she saw was the face of the kind stranger who spent a rainy afternoon with her in the streets of Los Angeles.
"Hey, if you happen to drop by in Japan, make sure to find me, okay?"
Her own words resonated in her mind and she smiled, still feeling the raindrops seemingly caressing her face. The rain was enough to reassure her that he came and eventually found her.
If I just lay here, would lie with me and just forget the world?
oOoOo
-The End-
Author's Note: My first attempt at MattxMisa. Yes, generalquistis likes hetero couples better in Death Note so don't go tellin' her that Matt is better off with Mello or Light is better off with L, etc. I'm assuming that you have a brain to process mentally what I just said there so don't complain anymore about my preference. Anyway, you don't need to review this if you don't want to. I don't really mind. Tralala… Oh yeah, the song is Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol.