Beyond this longing,

Nothing exists.

Beyond this pain,

Nothing exists.

Your smile tears me to pieces

And reminds me of how much of a fool I was to let you go.

Who am I without you?

It was another school year. Yes. Yes...Another boring train ride that had no meaning but to carry him, Blaise Alexander Zabini, to the place of his education and further send him into a downward spiral of self-inflicted pain. Just bloody wonderful. He sat in the compartment alone as his thoughts swirled as mystic phantoms along the mental freeway and neither held shape or form, just existed. Sometimes he'd watch them drift into distance or materialize into that weeping face that had nearly killed him the summer before. What made him like this? What happened to him that made him so... empty? What else? He fell in love.

A few years ago, he could've cared less whether or not he was on a train or a carriage, as long as he got away from that place he called home. Now it all seemed to have no meaning... what happened to him?

Oh... Right... She happened... The girl, woman, that haunts his dreams and makes his blood rush, only until the stab of guilt and pain tore those feeling out of him with a jagged knife called regret... Regret of what he could've-should've-said... What he couldn't say... What he would never think...

Well maybe not never think, he thought wryly.

He was thinking it right now... Maybe admit to himself these feeling that cause these thoughts.

It's all her fault, ever since she walked into my life, it's never been the same...

His mind was distorted, common sense tossed in the open breeze.

He supposed this is what Noemi called his just desserts.

Maybe we should work our way from the beginning, while he stares off into space blabbing like a lethargic twit.

Mind you if you continue with this tale, there is one thing you must know... He holds no ill-will towards him, nor the way things turned out. He is completely sane and a Slytherin who begged the Sorting Hat to place him there... You'll find out why.

It all goes back to his Third Year of Hogwartts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry...

''Have a safe trip, Blaise!''

He did not reply to his mother's feigned feelings. His mother was not a feeling woman, she was now on her tenth husband, with only his father left alive. The media of the wizarding world seemed to forget this fact and saw only her French features and devilish charm. His new stepfather stood at her side with three of his sisters, all of whom worked for the ministry in some capacity or another whether an accountant, a secretary, a call girl. He never really knew, nor cared, what they actually did. They were just people that tormented him and made everyday he was home a little bit more painful.

''Yes yes mother we now he's going to school, it happens every year. Nothing changes.''

''The little whelp, I'm tired of seeing him. Aren't you going to grow anytime soon?''

''He's going to stay that way forever, wouldn't that be interesting if Blaise grew up to be gay? I mean with a name like Blaise, it'll be pretty obvious-''

Isabelle, Elaine and Gabriel, it happened every time he went off to school. Out of some deluded idea that he wanted them there, his mother would force the trio to take an afternoon off from their whoring and come wish their little brother goodbye. While he kept his solitude and say nothing baring their abuse as he always had, he counted down the ways to make them suffer and the seconds to his departure.

''Leave Topolino alone, he's suffered enough living with you three all his life, no need to screw up his return to school.''

It was September 1st the first day of school and the last day he would see them before his birthday. Since they usually forgot, they lumped his return to school day in with his birthday. To them, September 1st was his birthday, on records his birthday was November the 13th, but he would never tell anyone that. No, no one needed to know. So long as everyone thought it was th 1st of September, he could spend his birthday in peace. It was nothing to be celebrated really. His mother obviously felt that her son was worthless. Noemi hugged him tightly slipping a book into my hands.

''You have fun now alright?'' He nodded hugging her back. Noemi... she was the cornerstone of sanity and the only person he could really talk to. Grandma Zabini wasn't exactly the most lively person but she was one of the most caring, but Noemi actually listened. He found the value of that in a house of women that were indifferent to his existence very early on in life.

''Noemi, will you be here when school ends?''

''Maybe... we'll see.'' She kissed my forehead and ruffled my hair as he boarded the train.

''Don't go breaking hearts now Blaise!'' She yelled after me, he almost laughed. His sister was so weird sometimes but he loved her all the same.

He found his way to a compartment and opened the present from Noemi, the card read:

Cara Topolino,

I am giving you this book as an early birthday present since I don't own an owl, don't intend to buy one, and you could probably use it to stave off your boredom when you're done with work. I know it's been awhile since I've seen you, but I've finally gotten a chance to get off work and bid you farewell when you go off to school. Nice surprise huh? Compared to Isabelle, Gabriel and Elaine every year, with Madre to add to that, I feel sorry for you.

In any case, how does it feel to almost be turning thirteen huh? Exiting right? You're about to start going through changes and I can't wait to see how you handle yourself as a man. Please try to make a friend this year, I am no witch but there's gotta be someone you can relate to while you're there. It can't be all that bad.

Ignore Draco, I realize it's hard since you're in Slytherin with him ( and don't think I don't know why, I will scold you for that later) but there's gotta be someone in that school worth talking to.

Ti amo,

Noemi.

P.S. I want some good news at Christmas.

Out of that entire letter, all he got was that she would be home for would probably be the best homecoming he would get in awhile. With his father still off in where ever he was whoring himself as he always does, the only people could ever look forward to seeing when he returned home for Christmas were his mother and bunch of people he didn't know, among whom would always be his next stepfather. It would be even better if it was just the people that actually cared about him, for once. A.K.A, himself , Grandma Zabini and Noemi. That would top any present he could have ever get from his sisters, his mother and the money Massimo and his stepfather gave him every year...

''Uhm excuse me...'' He looked up and couldn't look away.

La ragazza Bella...

''Can I share the compartment with you? Everywhere else is full.''

She had sea-like aquamarine eyes with the dust of stars in them accompanied with fine features and a dark mass of curls held out of her face by a blue had a small smile and the blush on her cheeks told him she was nervous.

''Sure...'' He said, she smiled at him and came in closing the doors behind her. He did not know what year she was, but judging by her lack of house colors she had to be a first year.

''I'm Elena, what's your name?'' She said obviously not confident, her voice was far too timid and soft he almost missed her speaking, and oh how he would have regretted that.

Her voice was warm and gentle, like velvet and honey over his senses.

''Blaise. Blaise Zabini... Are you a first year?''

''Oh, no. I'm a third year, I transfered here when we moved.''

Wizarding schools have transfers? He'd never heard of it happened but with the wizarding world anything was possible.

''I see...What house are you in?''

''Raven Claw, but I haven't gotten my robes yet...''

He nodded and looked out the window again, looking at her made his heart beat faster and he vaguely wondered if he was getting sick. It was strange...She made him feel like flying and they'd just met. That wasn't natural...

Maybe she's part veela... That would have definitely explained the symptoms.

''What's your last name?''He asked slightly curious. There were only a hand full of families that he knew for sure had Veela blood.

''Valentin, Why do you ask?''She said and sighed, ''I know. I know, what yo're going to say. 'You're named after one of the most backwards holidays in the world' yes I know. I've come to terms with it.''

''Actually, I just wondered if I'd met you before.''

''Oh. Sorry, but I get the ''Valentin Valentine'' this all the time and it urks me to no end.'' I raised and eyebrow, she was certainly not the meek mouse I tok her for on sight. Maybe it was just because she's shy.

''Is your birthday Valentine's Day?''

''No...thank goodness.'' She said and joined him in looking out the window. It was raining, not surprising for England, it was a very rainy country.

''I can't believe this...it's always raining...''

He was going to agree with her when suddenly the room went cold. As if there would never be a spark of happiness ever again...

A Dementor... he realized turning towards the door and leaning back against the wall. He had some pretty terrible memories but he'd read a lot over the summer and learned charms to prevent things like this from happening. After all, who knew when his mother would decide to spice up her love life and date a Death Eater.

''Elena?'' She was frozen in place as the door opened and the ghostly figure turned looking at her...He thought it would've gone after him first, but it was after her. She shivered slightly as it came towards her, she was panicking looking for her wand. What did she expect to do against a dementor as the dementor came at her and he saw her body shake. She fumbled with her wand before she right it in her hand.

''Expecto Patronum!'' She said her wand sent out a glowing shield of thin wisps of light, a patronum, and the dementor flew out the door the door closed and the entire room returned to normal...

Who was she?...

''Are you okay?'' He asked as she gained her breathe. He saw her falling before her eyes closed and she collapsed onto him. In a particularly awkward position, he blushed and pushed her back onto her side of the compartment and laying her out across the bench.

This mysterious girl would change his life forever.