Hey here's a one-shot actually this story is inspired by Christina Aguilera song Hurt and HermioneCrookshanks919 story 'What's Expected of Me'. I recommend both. So, on with the story, it a bit or really OC, I am bit mean to Ginny. Thanks to my beta eaglesfreak17!
Title: My Life
Author: BlackDemonAngel
I have always been there for Harry, whenever he needed me. And now when I need him the most, he's off somewhere with Ginny. I regret not tell Harry or Ron about my condition. Have they ever wondered why I never shared anything about my personal life? Probably not, or maybe they did but quickly dismissed it. I can't believe they both replaced me, and with Ginny. I thought they actually cared about me, but I guess not. I always knew I loved Harry more than a brother or a friend. I always tried to let him know, but he never picked on any of my signals. I always took care and was there for him. And Ron, who I love like a brother likes me more than a sister or friend. How stupid!
I never thought that I would die without having either one of them at my side. And as the tears fall down my soft checks, I just keep thinking about how foolish I was for letting them in. Letting them know the real me and not the bookworm everyone thinks I am. You see I don't really have parents, they are both dead. My mother died at child birth and my father was murdered when I was one, because he found a secret that no one should have known. My whole family was murdered because of it. I was the only one that survived, how stupid and pathetic. When I was little I never let anyone in. And that's why I had a new foster family every year. I didn't let other children become my friends because I was cursed and I didn't want to suffer. How ironic, that because I did it hurts so much more than it would have if… I quickly dismiss the thought.
You see when I was two I was diagnosed with this very rarer illness. This illness eats away at your internal organs and runs in you blood. I knew I was lucky to even make it to 11. And then when I got my letter to Hogwarts, I felt as if there was hope for me to live. But soon I found out that even in the wizarding world it was rarer. The healers could only keep it a bay. The healers told me that I would only live a few years, about when I was fourteen if I was lucky. For the years I have spent at Hogwarts has been a blessing. And the day Harry and Ron saved me from the troll, was my curse. I knew…I knew what I was risking by letting them in. But I did it anyway and it's my fault to hurting myself, like this.
Tears of anger and hurtfulness keep rolling down, as I hug my teddy bear close and squeeze my eyes. The teddy bear is the only thing I have from my dad and I kiss my mother's locket that hangs around my neck. I choke down a sob as let the illness continue its course. It's painful but what can I say. It's was eating away everything that's left. I knew tonight, death would come for me as I lay in my warm bed. All of my professor will know why I died. Before I laid in my bed I wrote Harry and Ron letters explaining everything, I gave them both to Professor Dumbledore. I left one for him that I asked he or one of my friends should read at my funeral, it's his choice.
I try not to think about how Harry and Ron have hurt me through my whole sixth year. I mean I always knew Harry wouldn't love me, but at least I could dream. That one day he would say he loved me the same way and we would live happily ever after. And then Ginny, I though she was my friend, but I guess I was wrong. I trusted her, I told her about my feelings for Harry, and yet she went behind my back and took the last thing I lived for. I was Harry's guardian angel I was always there to keep him out of trouble and help him out. But this year he didn't say anything to me besides 'Good Morning' and 'Good Night'. And when he talked to me and I tell him something he doesn't like he yells at me. I just hope he doesn't feel guilty when all this is over. I took my last breath and that was it. Everything turned dark and cold, now I see my soul less body lay on what once was my bed. I was pale and I bet I was as cold as ice.
I sit down on my bed and watch as all my dorm mates wake up and get dressed up for the day. Today felt like a happy day, I wonder which one would be the one to find out first. I'm actually glad I don't live. There is so much pain and other non-sense. I see Lavender Brown walk towards my bed and tries to wake me up, she notices I am not breathing and as cold as ice. She screams; I just watch as the other girls run towards Lavender. I notice she's crying and listening as she tells Parvati to go get Harry and Ron. I watch as the girl runs for them. Another girl runs to go get Professor McGonagall. I can hear Harry and Ron yell from downstairs. All the girls are crying by this point. I see that Lavender is holding my body against hers. A few minutes later I see Professor McGonagall walk in. She was dressed as always her hair done in an elegant bun. But the only difference was that she was crying.
She tells one of the girls to pull Lavender from my body. Once that was done I see her cover me in a white sheet from my bed. She levitates me down of the bed and down the stairs. I follow I see Harry and Ron ask Professor McGonagall questions. All she says is to follow her. At this point all the girls except Lavender, who was crying and following her out, were waking everyone up. She takes me to the infirmary and lays me down on one of the beds. My best friends were trying to get information out of her. I watch as Professor Dumbledore walks towards my bed. As he walks I can see the tears roll down his checks. I really don't understand, he knew this day would come all the teachers knew, but I guess it still hurts.
Professor Dumbledore uncovers my body; I can see my mother's locket were my heart is. He took a deep breath and told Madame Pomfrey to clean me and fix me for my funeral. I watch as Harry and Ron react to what had just been said. They were both pale white. Professor Dumbledore tells them to follow him to his office. They did and so did I, as they arrived at the gargoyle and the professor said the password and they went in. Harry and Ron sat down in the chairs. I see Professor Dumbledore sit and take out the letters I wrote the day before. He hands one to Ron and then Harry.
I remember both letters. Ron's explains everything about everything. But Harry's was a little more complicated. His letter said-
Dear Harry,
If you are reading this, than you already know that I am no longer with you. Harry… this is very hard to write. As you can see there are tear stains on this. Harry, I am in love with you and even though you love Ginny and barley even talked to me this year I still do and probably always will even in the after-life. Harry I have known I was going to die. The healers told me a month ago, I tried to tell you ever since but you have been to busy with Ginny and Ron to even notice me dying in front of your eyes. Every time I tried to talk to you. You blew me off for someone else. And Harry that hurt… it still does, you and Ron made wounds that you can't heal. Don't blame yourself maybe it was my fault I didn't tell you. I should have tried and tried but I guess I was just too weak to do that. Nobody noticed me anymore I felt as if you didn't care any more. Harry I feel used like as if I'm only good for homework. I feel as if you didn't need me anymore and replaced me with Ginny. Harry I don't want to ruin you relationship with her, but she hates me. Harry, I am dying of a rare illness that runs within my blood and eats away at my organs. I have had this illness ever since I was two. Harry my parents are dead I have no family. All of them were murdered when I was one. I live with nobody; I felt you and Ron were my family so it hurt more when you guys didn't pay attention to me any more. So every time you told me I wouldn't understand about not having a family or having everyone I love being taken away from me. I felt hurt because I know what it's like. And you didn't help, not one bit when you left me when I needed you the most. Harry you never told me I was important to you. You never said thank you for helping you out, even though you didn't have to but it would have been nice. Harry you never wished me a happy birthday, even when I always wished you. Anyways I am too tired to keep writing. So have a happy life, I know you'll beat Voldemort and save everyone. I'll be looking out for you from heaven.
I love you,
Hermione
P.S: Never feel guilty about my death. I don't want you to. I want you to live your life to the fullest for me. I love you so much, you'll just never know how much.
Ron finished his letter before Harry, and he had tears flowing down his checks. Harry finished a few minutes later after. I felt I had to go; I was being called to heaven. My life was great while I still had them in it. It was time for me to leave what once was my world. I was finally going meet my family. I was finally going to be loved.
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B.D.A