Lingering
Grasp
By Camilla
Sandman& Suz
-
a sequel to "Barely Hanging On"
Disclaimer: Sometimes you
get an idea and just run with it. Bugger the consequences. It's just
a feeling inside that you get. It niggles away at you and you think
stuff it all.
Oh, by the way we don't own them
Major angst, depression, guilt trips, some deaths and some implications of rape. All in all, it's not the best days the Rats have had.
Author's Notes (Cam): Okay, I considered waiting a while before starting a sequel, but.. Meh. Patience is for sheep.
Author's Notes (Suz): - Ice skating is fun, except for when the tounge cuts into your foot and then you can't wear your favourite shoes to go out in. Then you can't dance because you've got crap shoes on. But on the upside Frost Bites is an awesome Nite Club. they have alcoholic slurpee's!
Thanks to Nikki for "fudged off".
To Sarah – helping me write better and because you know, I get to see Mick/Alex stuff!
II
There was no more sun. Sure, there was the ball of gas and warmth on the sky, but there was no more sun. So, with no sun, it was always night. Always dark.
The stars were gone too. Sure, there was, there were distant dead suns on the sky, but there were no more stars. So, with no stars, the night was darker than ever.
But the moon was still there, pale and sorrowful and the only light it had to give were so weak it only made the darkness more depressing.
Frank Holloway knew he was drunk, and that all the morose thoughts came from that, but it didn't make them less valid. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so philosophical. Probably the last time he'd been drunk.
After he'd learned of Rachel's death, he'd avoided getting drunk. There was no refuge to be found in alcohol, rather insistent memories.
But now he was back, and the memories came anyway, so he figured, stuff it. He might as well drink.
He threw a glance over at his drinking partner, who looked equally morose. He'd invited her over to ask a particular question, but whenever he opened his mouth, nothing came out. He feared the answer more than anything else.
Still... He had to know.
"Helen?" Damn, he almost sounded sober. More beer was needed.
"Mmm..."
"Did she..." he had to pause for a second, his chest suddenly constricted with pain. "Did she talk about me... After I left?"
More beer was definitely needed. His mouth felt dry, and his mind was as clear as glass.
Helen turned to look at him, her eyes deep and sad.
"Frank... You broke her heart."
And suddenly he wished he'd never asked
II
Music drummed around her, and colours swirled as hundreds of people were pressed together on the dance floor. Laughter barely penetrated the music, but to Sophie, it just sounded hollow
She had killed a man.
They had asked her gently about it, and called it "self defence". But she remembered the look Mick had sent her. He had known.
She had killed a man.
His brother had killed her father. Strangely enough, Jack suddenly seemed much more of a father to her after he was dead. Had she never quite forgiven him for all those years he hadn't been there?
And now she missed him, she missed him so hard pulling the trigger had been easy. In that split second he had come after her, she had decided to shoot him in the head rather than the leg.
She had killed a man.
And Jack wasn't here. Suddenly, she could stand it no longer, and made a run from for the door. Halfway there a body came in the way and she was sent spinning to the floor.
"Sorry," a deep, masculine voice muttered against her ear and strong arms helped her up. She let herself be guided through the masses.
"You look like you need a friend?"
She look up at him, and figured, bugger it. She did.
She didn't see the terrified look on the face of the girl next to her, nor did she pay attention to that gut feeling telling her to run as fast as she could. All she could feel was the empty hole in her chest where her heart was supposed to be.
When it stopped beating an hour later, it was almost a relief.
II
Alex lay awake and listened to the quiet breathing of her partner. She could barely make out his features in the dark, but she could envision them clearly. His mouth would probably be slightly open, almost like an invitation to a kiss. She smiled slightly, they had certainly done enough of that.
But her smile quickly faded. They were going back tomorrow, back to duty. Back to the station, where everyone would talk of Jack. Or even worse, no one would mention him at all.
"Alex?"
Mick's soft voice made her jump, and she felt his arm reach out to touch hers.
"Yeah?"
"Us.. I mean, when we come back.. We haven't really talked about it."
"I don't know, Michael," she answered honestly, but even as she said it, she edged closer so their foreheads touched. She should walk away, she should end it, hell, she should never have walked into his apartment that night after the funeral in the first place.
If Jack hadn't died.. Mick felt her body tense somewhat, and he knew she was thinking about Jack again. He desperately wanted to blurt out all those questions burning on his lips, but the words died in his throat.
What am I to you? Did you love Jack? Can you forgive me?
He wanted to ask her that more than anything, to tell her it was him Jack had been protecting, that he was supposed to have been there when Rachel died... That sometimes he felt like he couldn't breathe when he thought about it.
Instead, he leaned into the embrace and just held her, while the ball of gas and warmth began to rise over the horizon.
II
The dark blonde hair floated around her as a halo, moving slightly with the waves. She was naked, and at first it would seem like she was skinny dipping, floating peacefully.
Then, a wave would wash over her and she would roll slowly over, revealing the gaping wound at the back of her head.
But her face was so peaceful.
"VKG Sydney Water Police to Nemesis. Have you found the body yet?"
"…"
"Are you there, Nemesis?"
"Yes.. It's.. It's.. Sophie."
"Say again, Nemesis."
"It's Sophie."
II
Mick walked into the Station and knew instantly something was wrong. It wasn't so much the glances thrown his way as the fact that no one was looking his way at all. Not even Donna looked up, and Alex was nowhere to be seen. She'd only been a few minutes ahead of him, as they had agreed not to raise suspicion.
He rather thought it was a lost battle already.
He was about to ask what was going on, when the door opened quietly behind him and Alex walked in. She looked up at him as he turned around, and his heart leaped.
She looked like hell, almost as bad as she had when the Nemesis had brought in Jack. And even before she said something, he knew who it was.
"Sophie," she gulped, "They… They found her this morning."
More than anything, he wanted to reach out and hug her, but he could suddenly feel the eyes of Emma on him. She came walking in along side Tommy, both looking as horrible as Alex.
"How?"
"Blow to the head," Tommy replied in a tired voice, briefly closing his eyes.
"She had been raped." It was Alex who spoke, but it didn't sound like her voice.
"We're waiting on forensic on that," Tommy said, but he didn't deny her words. Behind them, Mick could see the body being carried away. He tried to swallow, but the lump in his throat grew and grew no matter how much he swallowed.
This is your fault, you know, a very cool and logical voice in his head stated.
"No, it's not," he wanted to shout, but the words didn't come.
See? The voice said, somewhat satisfied. He tried pushing it forcefully away, but it only seemed to find it amusing.
Mick Reilly, you can't push me away. I am you.
"Mick?" His vision stabilised and fell on Alex, and their eyes locked. Her eyes were brimming with tears, but somewhere beyond the pain and grief an ice-cold anger had appeared.
He could feel his own anger rising with hers, but he was no longer sure who it was directed at. Himself? The prick that had killed Sophie?
You'll both pay the voice stated confidently, and he knew it to be true.
II
It was a very grim Chief Inspector Holloway who faced his small team of detectives a few hours later. Even as he entered, the irony hit him. Rachel would have been laughing her ass off had she seen him in this uniform. He could almost hear her, laughing madly and whispering "priceless" in a dark corner of his mind.
Bloody Jeff for going along with it, even if it was merely on a temporary basis. And bloody himself for even suggesting it to Helen, as a joke no less.
"Priceless," he muttered, then took a deep breath and faced the crowd.
"We have two victims. Sophie..." he watched a range of emotions flicker over the faces before him, "and a girl named Pauline Jackson, found two days ago. They're both the same age, both killed with a heavy blow to the head and both raped."
He threw a quick glance at Alex, who stood still as a statue in the other side of the room as Mick. Interestingly enough, Emma and George were standing so close there wasn't a flicker of light in between them. Frank suddenly found himself wondering if Jeff had ever observed him and Rachel like that, thinking that maybe...
"Pauline Jackson was last seen at The Fudged Off, a new nightclub. I want to know if Sophie was there, who she talked to, and who she left with. George, I know you're only here temporary, but I want you on this one with Tommy," Frank plunged on, "I know this is a personal loss to all of you..." His voice finally faltered. He didn't even know Sophie, he shouldn't be... Grieving?
Ah, but you're not grieving for her are you?
He ignored his mind, and concentrated on the people standing in the room with him.
"Alex, Mick, I want you t on that speed boat incident this morning. That's all."
"Frank?" Mick cut in, "Speed boat incident? I want..."
"Reilly, you and Alex are too close to Jack and Sophie. I can't let you near this case," Frank explained, even knowing he would have totally ignored anyone telling him to do something similar. He half expected the pair to jump up in outrage, but they remained strangely still. Uh oh. He knew that look.
"Understood?"
"Yeah," Mick muttered distantly, but the glace he exchanged with Alex spoke another story. Those two were not going to listen.
Mick kept his glance at Alex even after she had looked away. The look on her face was triggering another memory, another showdown. Jack Christey hunting down Rachel's killer.
A shudder went down his spine.
You don't belong here. You're no copper
He walked slowly out with the others, not noticing the look Frank was sending him.
II
Emma trailed George and Tommy out the door and willed them silently to slow down, she wanted to be near someone. It was like a living hell right now. She realised that this was what life as a copper was like… No longer was she just a diver, she knew too much now, she'd seen too much death and pain and…
"Em…" George turned around and smiled at her. She tried smiling back but it just didn't happen. Nothing happened she could only look blankly at him, past him out to the harbour where they found… Where they found everyone.
Suddenly she collapsed into a heap, a mess, tears just streamed down her face without control. They stepped toward her, she reached up to George and he took her in his arms and held her while she shook uncontrollably.
George spoke gently into her neck as they stood together. Soon she stopped shaking and just held him as they swayed slightly, soothingly.
"I'm sorry," she too spoke into his neck. His arms wrapped around her made her feel safe. Safe from everything that could harm her and when he went to pull away she resisted.
"No, please… just stay a little while."
He kissed her neck and again tried pulling away… but failed.
"I have to, I don't want to…" He looked down at her. God, she was so beautiful. "I'll come back." She nodded and smiled a little. Her glance fell to Tommy who was standing uncomfortably a few feet away.
"Woods, we'll be fine." He took a step and held her hand tightly.
Slowly they both let go and walked away.
II
It was quiet in the D's office for the longest time. Tommy and George were out, and Alex and Mick sat quietly by their desks, doing paperwork. At least that was what they were doing every time Frank looked in.
But as soon as he left, an intense whispered conversation would take place.
"I have experience with undercover work!" Alex insisted, but Mick was shaking his head.
"I'm not letting you go there alone!"
"I can protect myself."
"So could.." Mick managed to stop himself before saying 'Rachel'. "He could attack you from behind. No way. I'm sticking on you like glue."
A very inappropriate image entered his mind, and it took him a few seconds to push the image away. If Alex had noticed, she made no sign of it.
"Fine," she snapped, "But you keep your distance and you will do what I say."
"Yeah, yeah..." he trailed off as Frank stuck his head in once again.
Frank looked at the two, seemingly working intensely on paperwork. A little too intensely. Paperwork was so boring it usually made you jump at any distraction from it, like, say, your boss entering. Those two were definitely up to something.
And the detective in him was itching to find out what. It had to be something to do with Sophie's death; otherwise they would have been in his office demanding to be put on the case. As he looked at them sitting at the desks he and Rachel once had sat at, he had to grab the wall for support. Suddenly it wasn't Mick and Alex sitting there, but him and Rachel, one late night.
"I think I
might head home too." "You be alright? You know, Doug
thinks he's a bit comical, but there is some truth in what he
says." "What, that she's too tall for you?" "You
know what I mean." She leaned forward over the desk. "You
offering protection Frank?" "If you want it."
But when he opened his eyes again, Alex and Mick were sitting there, throwing a worried glance his way. He somehow managed to stagger into Jeff's… his office now, where Helen was waiting for him.
"Frank? You look like you've seen a ghost."
He didn't reply, dropping onto his chair in a very un-inspectorish and very Frankish way.
"How's Jeff?"
"Biting nails by the phone, waiting for you to mess up his station," Helen replied. "I heard about Sophie."
"Yeah," Frank muttered. "I have Tommy and George on it." He closed his eyes, looking over at the fish tank where Jeff's fish swam around happily. "I didn't know the girl, but... It's obviously everyone here liked her. If she was truly Jack's daughter, I can't understand why."
He threw a look at Helen.
"Sorry, bad joke, I didn't..."
"Don't worry about it, Frank." God, she sounded just like Rachel it unnerved him. Was he just going mad, or had everyone here suddenly acquired Goldstein characteristics?
"I miss her, Helen."
"Me too."
"I always thought I would someday see Rachel on a desk like this," he remarked. "It's like... I'm doing this because she didn't get to, you know?"
"Frank?" Tommy broke in, entering with George in tow. "I think we have a suspect.."
Helen watched Frank snap to attention, looking every bit the essence of commanding presence. She had to suppress a sad smile.
Rachel would have been proud. After she had stopped laughing hysterically.
II
One by one the stars would appear on the sky, twinkling at the Earth with their ancient light, travelled so long and far only to be appreciated by a few.
Alex had no time to glance at them as she entered the crowded The Fudged Off. You couldn't tell by the people there that two girls had disappeared from this bar. Or maybe you could. Danger was an attraction.
A few hands brushed against her body as she moved through the crowd, but she ignored them. Aiming for the bar, she immediately spotted Mick. He was leaning against a wall nonchalantly, radiating... Sexuality?
She didn't seem to be the only one noticing his attraction. Several young girls were circling around him and she felt an illogical flash of jealousy.
She closed her eyes, and to her surprise, it was Emma's voice that came to her.
"So you finally decided you wanted
him." "Hey Em. I guess you and I should have a talk." The
anger behind Emma's eyes in that hospital corridor, the sadness…
and most of all the hurt. "He was only with me to get at
you. We both knew it so why didn't you…" "I didn't know
Em." "Didn't know what Alex. Is it that hard for you to
work out your feelings? God…" "Emma, I know-" "You
know nothing" "I know that you fell for him, his charms,
his looks. Who wouldn't? I was just scared that's all. I couldn't
make up my mind." "I hate you both, you've made me a pawn
in your little games." "Don't…" "Oh, bugger
off!"
Opening her eyes again, she felt Mick look at her. She purposely ignored his glance, moving onto the dance floor and the mass of bodies. She noticed what had to be a bouncer or the owner standing at the edge of the dance floor.
But Jan Kein, owner of The Fudged Off wasn't looking at her, but rather at the young brunette approaching Mick with a look of hope and total adoration on he face.
"I'm Chloe…" the girl smiled at Mick. He held out his hands apologetically.
"Sorry girl, I'm taken."
And with that he moved onto the dance floor, brushing past Alex and sending her a look that made young Chloe heartbroken. He had looked so hot and sexy and Chloe had fallen in love within seconds. Not for the first time.. But it was the last time.
Jan smiled, and walked over.
"You look like you could need a friend," he smiled, and she looked tear-eyed up at him.
II
The moon continued her slow march across the sky, not even stopping to mourn the death of another girl. The moon was after all, just a dead rock in space, no matter what romantic fantasies the people of Earth associated with it.
Frank Holloway was looking up at it, lying quietly on the same grassy hill he and Rachel once had spent an evening at, discussing ants and Robert Redford.
Emma Woods too, was staring rather absentmindedly at it, sitting in her bed. Behind her George slept peacefully.
Tommy Tavita was laughing, accepting yet another beer from Gavin Sykes as the two reminisced about the past and who was the hottest chick in the Water Police ever.
Helen Blakemore had given up on sleeping for the night, and was slowly flickering through the diary of Rachel Goldstein and wondering if she should or shouldn't pass it on to someone who might need it more.
Jan Kein was returning to his nightclub in time to make sure it was properly closed for the night, feeling content and utterly disgusted with himself at the same time.
Alex St. Clare was slamming the car door behind her with her foot, her hands busy wandering over Mick Reilly's chest as they were stumbling towards his house.
And in Sydney Harbour, young Chloe was sleeping peacefully, never again to see a sunrise.
II
Mick knew a storm was coming the minute he walked into the station that morning. Frank Holloway was hovering by the reception desk, and the man looked angrier than Mick had ever seen him.
"Michael Reilly, my office, now!"
And without looking, Frank marched up the stairs.
"Cripes, you've done it now," Donna
whispered. "They found another body in the Harbour
and..."
"Reilly!"
Frank snapped, stopping at the top of the stairs and noticing Mick
wasn't following.
Donna closed her mouth as Mick began ascending the stairs.
Well, well, well. Too busy screwing your partner to notice a murder. Spectacular performance, detective Reilly.
And for once, Mick didn't bother arguing with his mind."Sit down," Frank ordered as they entered the office. "Now, do you have any idea why witnesses saw you and a certain blonde at The Fudged Off last night?"
Christ, the man was sounding like Jeff Hawker.
"No, wait, don't tell me. Because if you tell me, I would have to suspend you both." Frank sighed. "Do you want to screw up your career entirely?"
Yes, why not? It would have been if Jack hadn't kicked the bucket for you, mate the cynical voice whispered.
"Michael... Take some time off. Go sailing, go fishing, go walkabout, go screw your partner, but don't go near this case." Frank paused, trying to see if he was getting through. The blank stare he got in return didn't look promising.
Damned if he was going to let more people die on this station.
Mick was silent for a long time.
"Would you have stayed away if it had been David who was killed?"
Frank felt like he was kicked in the gut. He opened his mouth to reply, but no words came out.
"I didn't think so," Mick said coolly and got up. He had to fight the urge to kick himself. God knows Alex and Rachel would have if they had heard him. Frank wasn't the enemy.
No, you are. What are you becoming, Michael Reilly?And what scared him more than anything, was that he didn't know.