Chad had a secret love for house music. He first discovered house back when he was in 4th grade while at a sleep over Troy was having. It was about 2am on a Saturday night and the song "Music sounds better with you" by Stardust was playing on the radio . The other boys there tuned it out and kept on playing Troy's new Playstation 2 but Chad found himself mesmerized by the repetitive beats and lyrics. That following day, Chad asked his mother to stop by Sam Goody on the way home and blew an entire 3 month's worth of allowance on CD singles and a few albums from the Dance House section.
As Chad grew older he started to notice that all of his favorite "House Classics" that he heard on T.V. featured a bunch of shirtless men dancing together in clubs which at first, scared him. Scared because these beautiful,muscular men made his 14 year old body hot. He'd learned in Church that being gay was a sin, and it was a sure fire way to get a ticket straight to hell. Because of this, he repressed those feelings. Anything even remotely related to the driving beats of House music were locked away to collect dust.
Once, he had tried to tell Taylor about what he was feeling and even let it slip that he questioned his sexuality, but she didn't pay attention—or so he thought. Sure they had their talks where they would just rant about whatever they were feeling, but he still felt that she was just humoring him with her smiles and winks. He felt alone. He felt awkward and ashamed that he was destined to live his life without having anything or anyone he could truly love. That is, until the summer he played baseball with Ryan Evans. Sure Chad had his family, Taylor, and Troy, but Ryan was different.
They had just finished playing and were in the changing rooms. Chad had said something about how he liked Ryan's hat, so Ryan,flattered by the comment, offered to exchange with him. Seeing as how the rest of their clothing wouldn't match, they just decided to swap everything else they were wearing as well. As Ryan began to pull off his his pants and shirt, Chad watched closely as the sweat started dance around his torso. He heard nothing but deafening silence and his own heartbeat as his eyes examined every inch of the pale boys body. His eyes continued to glide across his new found friend until he heard Ryan's phone ring. It was a house song not unlike those he used to be so fond of as a pre-teen. He was instantly reminded of a club called "Babylon" from Queer as Folk and pictured Ryan, dancing around with glow sticks, gyrating against his pelvis. The vision of this gave Chad an instant boner. Quickly, he tried (and failed) to not let Ryan notice the extended member. Trying to get it to go away, he spoke.
"What song is that?" he asked, quickly pulling up the Ryan's pants which were a bit too snug for him. "It's called I watch you by Ian Cabrera. I heard it while vacationing in London last winter and had to have it." Ryan replied with a smile. "How ironic." Chad mumbled, pulling the cap over his head. "What?" "Nothing."
They talked for about an hour and a half about their favorite House artists and songs until Taylor started blowing up Chad's phone with "Where are you guys!" texts. Later that night after everything had died down, Taylor and Chad had their regular nightly chat at Taylor's house. She noticed him being slightly quieter than usual and was surprised by his sports talk. All he could think about was Ryan and how he never felt more relaxed or comfortable with anyone until that day. It was like he could finally breathe after being suffocated for 17 years. Ryan was officially his everything. He wanted him, no, he needed him right then and there. He was in love with a person he once despised and would do anything to get him. After 20 minutes of silence, Chad glanced at the Nubian goddess next to him and spoke.
"So guess what?" he asked. Adamantly avoiding eye contact with his pseudo girlfriend Taylor. "Whats up?" she asked in a sickeningly sweet tone that broke Chad's heart to the core. He loved Taylor, he truly did. But all he could think about was Ryan's body and the bass pounding through imaginary speakers in his mind. Chad bit his lip and closed his eyes tightly, like a child waiting for a surprise. "I'm gay". His words were so quick that he thought he would have to repeat himself but Taylor just laughed and kissed him on the cheek. "I know." was all she said.