Author's Note: Another short. This one's kinda complex, or as complex as Mugen can achieve. He really doesn't want to believe that he's saying. There are a couple quick references to Fuugen in there, but it's still just rolling around inside Mugen's head. He also tries to cover it up a couple times.

There's a big difference in book smarts and street smarts. I'm a man of my own- a lone wolf, so to speak. I can live off the land, I can survive on the ocean, and I can keep myself out of trouble. Hell, I can sweet-talk my way in to a woman's bed, I can swindle people out of money, I can carouse my way out of a bad situation, and I can kill any bastard that so much as suggests a fight.

These skills are an essential part of my life. I was raised on blood and self-gratification, two values which I carry with me still to this day. It seems I'm doing alright. I ain't dead yet, anyway.

Fish-face, on the other hand, has next to no street-smarts at all. Sure, I still can't kill him (although I never try really hard) and he can slaughter as many men in a minute as I can, but the guy just doesn't cut it when it comes to smooth-talkin', whore-teasin', street etiquette.

Sure he knows math, and speaks with proper grammar, but if the guy ever needed to steal a couple Ryo, he'd do something stupid like go and get a job. Oh sure, fine and dandy, the samurai has honor, but come on; real life calls for action, not dumb Zen teachings and meditation.

Fuu, on the other hand, has a little bit of both. I mean, no wonder she's so ugly; she's had it kinda tough. She can sweet-talk her way when she needs to. Finding food, acquiring explosives… you know, the necessities. She's even got a pretty good handle on fixing people, but anyone would be if they had to stitch their so called body guards up as many times as she does. She don't complain though. At least we're not dead.

However, the bitch can be a bit of a fucking retard. Seriously, how many times does one need to be kidnapped to figure out that they should stop doing whatever it is they're doing that is getting them kidnapped in the first place? Of course this is where I come in. I'm always saving her scrawny ass. Fuck, if she wasn't so damn hot maybe dudes would stop taking her away. Whatever. So I run and rescue her, and get all cut up, and she has to fix me again. Like I said, if she wasn't so damn stupid, she wouldn't need to sew me back together so many times.

Now, I ain't no fucking girl, but I figure there's a reason as to why we all ended up in that tea house. Sure, Fuu was earning her keep, and I was poor and fucking hungry, and Jin wanted to kill some stupid Prince, but I mean a real reason. The same reason that explains why we're still together now. Fuck up, you dill-hole, I said I wasn't a girl; just hear me out.

See I, the natural leader, run this show with my bad-ass street savvy. Jin, with his disciplined kendo skills balances out my erratic tendencies, and his book smarts pick up where my street smarts leave off. Fuu's right there in the middle. She cleans up after us when we've finished saving her ass, she sews us back together, and she keeps us apart when we're about ready to chop off each other's heads.

Now this being said, the brat is still just that- a brat. She's annoying and loud, and an irritating temptation that I'm not allowed to give into. If I knew she wasn't going to get herself into some trap I'da left her with Jin, but he's about as useless as a rock—and talks about as much as one too. Not to mention that he's an uptight smart-ass with nothing good going for him. Them Samurai pricks have always rubbed me the wrong way. Of course it's not like I care what happens to her. I just wanna hit that piece of ass when this dumb trip is over. You know. Just to say that I did.

Don't matter either way to me, but I'm just saying that since we made this promise to this stupid chick, and while we're all stuck together until we find that frikkin sunflower dude, we might as well make up an excuse to tell people when they ask why a samurai, a teahouse waitress and a pirate are traveling across Japan as if we were like best buds or something. Devine providence or some shit. Yeah, that'll work.

Fin