I do not own Devil May Cry or The Divine Comedy, I like the game, I like the guy and I like the title.

Evie is at the top of her game...

She is a woman in her late thirties, having finished her degrees, touring around the world. Face it, she has never felt this much content, and she did it all on her own. But apparently being a free and independent woman, that's how she likes to think of herself, doesn't free her from the responsibility of being family.

"Devil May Cry" she muttered accompanied with a roll of her eyes. It was a running business, a scrawny establishment and sloppy apartment, all molded into one place, governed by one man, but he's still a boy in her eyes...

Just as she was about to race up the steps, a woman exited the shop. They passed by each other, shoulder to shoulder. And for a split second-- all it took was a split second for the two ladies to analyze and critic each other, from head to toe. It's a girl thing.

The woman she saw was of average height, she was very shapely and undeniably beautiful with her short, dark hair. But her choice of apparel, which was a bit too revealing for any woman with that much confidence was somehow.. suspicious. Let alone that humongous weapon which was too big for her to carry.

She on the other hand was petite, with apple cut blonde hair, spiked down. She was slim and serene looking. Wearing a brown travel coat which was unfit for her, considering her social status. Her features were fragile and pixie like, almost like she'll crumble and fall if someone touches her. Bambi eyes intensified her dollish face.

But despite all that, not to mention Lady is all that. Evie carried herself with an air of supremacy and regality as she smiled at the woman who just passed her by. Lady gave her a nod as she walked off to attend to other engagements thinking to herself that the latter was another client with not enough money to pay Dante.. so that Dante could pay her back.

Evie took one last look at Lady before she entered the shop, and thought to herself, "possible.." whatever she meant by that? we'll soon find out.

She was suppose to take him by surprise, but tiny as she is, she sure makes a hell of a lot noise just by opening the door, letting it close by itself and pulling her heavy boots inside.

And there he was, brooding and handsome. Just like his brother and just like his father. His hair was dripping wet and there was a small, white towel hanging over his neck. He was about to play the jukebox when he noticed his guest. So he dropped his hand and gave up on the idea of loud music in the morning.

"How are you?" she greeted with a childish smile. Her voice was small and musical, like cold, silver bells.

"Sweet, till you came" Dante groaned, scratching his hair. He was glad that Evie came, it was nice to know that there are still people looking out for him instead of trying to kill him.

"Tired?" he asked

"Sorta" Evie answered, prancing across the room, thinking what was the woman's business here earlier, seeing that Dante is rather.. wet.

Dante knows too well that small as she is, she brings him nothing but trouble. Family and the whole idea of he kinda has one is cool, but there is a reason why he distance himself with family.

Evie sat herself comfortably in Dante's chair, she's practically the only woman who could do that, who dared to do that. Of course that's because to her, Dante is not the bad ass demon hunter who's into swords and guns as much as he's into women, A rep he established himself to be. To her, he was family, her nephew and compared to her, Dante is a lamb... in some aspects.

"So" Evie started tracing the fine wood grain of his table, "That lady is pretty" she said

Dante frowned, "Argh.. not this again", drying his hair roughly

"Hey I'm just here on an errand!" Evie protested as she took the picture frame with Dante's mother, her older sister. She smiled, she was the one who placed it there years ago, it was nice to see Dante never moved it. It was suppose to be his source of conscience... it's not really working.

"I'm not listening to this" he concluded, shaking his head.

Somehow, Evie got the instinct of unfastening the picture frame, for no apparent reason at all. "She has a nice ass" she never really talk dirty, but she's got some influence here and there, besides she was just trying to blend in with Dante.

"Is that the only reason why you're here?" he said, totally agreeing with Lady having a nice ass, "Aren't you suppose to give me money? That's your job" Evie was more of a big sister to Dante rather than an aunt, well a little big sister to be exact and Evie wouldn't have it any other way.

"Look, you can't talk your way out of this Dante" said Evie "Besides Auntie wants to see you". to her surprise she saw another photo of her sister underneath the old one. Huh? she was puzzled, it was a candid shot of Eva or so she thought wearing a black corset top, but something is a little off, she looks younger, sultry even.

Dante was busy tidying himself up

"Hey, I don't remember Eva with this outfit!" she called out, swaying the photo in the air.

Upon seeing one of his dark secrets revealed, Dante hurried to his desk and snatched the photo, "I do, my dad is a horn dog remember" he managed, sighing in relief as he placed it securely inside one of his drawers.

"No he wasn't" Evie scowled, "well maybe a little.."

They both nodded in agreement and put the topic into rest, then someone entered the shop, it was Trish. wearing a nice red shirt and denim skirt. A bagpack hung over her shoulders.

Trish saw a woman sitting in Dante's chair. she was shocked, she never even got that close.

Evie saw a woman who looks like her late older sister, she was shocked, she never though someone like her exists.

And Dante saw Trish in a denim mini skirt, he was shocked, he never thought her legs could be so.. long and slender and... far better than he'd imagine.

So the point is, they were all shocked... awkward silence...

Five seconds of dead air was broken off by Trish, "Maybe I should come back later"

"No.. No!" Dante and Evie chorused, Dante stopped with a raised brow as he watched Evie ran towards Trish and intertwined her arms around hers like they're best friends.

"Hi.." Trish said, noticing how Evie was staring at her with such a big smile.. it was almost scary

"I want her" Eve mouthed at Dante, pulling Trish to sit beside her on the maroon lounge

"Then you marry her" Dante mouthed back, Who doesn't..

Trish read that, "What?" she asked, looking at Dante with eyes asking for explanation, Dante shrugged.

"You will get married" Eve hissed, turning back to Trish now with a smile that reached up to her tawny eyes.

"Who's getting married?" Trish overheard. Dante groaned, thinking of Trish's sudden appearance, and Trish's appearance

"Forgive me" Evie said, "I'm Evelyn, Eva's little sister, you can call me Evie" she introduced herself.

"Oh.." was all Trish could say, it all became clear to her now. First, Dante never told her about relatives, of all the years they were together, she was hurt. Second, the woman sitting on his chair was in fact his aunt, so it's all good, she was relieved. Third, she looks a lot like Eva, she has some explaining to do.

"I can explain" Trish said

Dante who was finished with the drying paused while Evie waited

Okay, I'm a demon created in the likeness of your sister to lure your nephew into his own death, but we're cool now. Wow, Trish so much for first impression

"I can't explain" Trish whined, scratching her temples with her forefinger.

"It's alright" Evie said, "I don't need explanations"

"you don't?" Trish and Dante chorused

"nope" I'll find out sooner or later anyways.

"So" Evie focused back on Trish, "How long have you guys been going out?" she was excited, Trish and Dante could see right through it.

"Oh, you got us wrong" Trish explained.

"But I just saw a picture of y.." Dante came for the cover

"That's enough Aunt Evelyn" his hands can practically cover all of Evie's face, "We're not together", he said, "We used to be though" letting go of her now

Evie inhaled, "What did I tell you about the aunt thing?! It's Evie!!... oh so you broke up?"

"No" Trish find this situation awkward, "We used to be together, but not together together" making no sense at all, Dante frowned in confusion,

"Of course" Evie put that aside and smiled, "What's your name?"

"Trish" she answered promptly

"Trish! yeah I remember" Evie lied, "Dante has told me a lot about you!"

Dante's eyes widen in denial, "What the.."

"Shut up and let me do all the talking" Eve hissed at Dante

Dante grumbled as he proceeded towards the pool table, "Fine do what you want"

From the moment Evie laid eyes on Trish, she could have never wished for another bride for Dante. There was something appealing in her, not just the fact that she looks like her late older sister, there was something good in Trish, a glowing aura of radiance. How Evie wanted Trish to become part of their family

"Hey" Dante called, "You're not getting Trish into this are you?" his hand holding the taco stick like a staff.

"As you can see, I'm working on it" Evie answered

Dante let out a deep breath

"Get me into what?" Trish asked

"Would you mind telling me your history with Dante?" Evie asked, trying to change the subject for Trish

"Only if you tell me what's going on" Trish replied

"Done, you first" Evie prompted

"We used to work as partners here" Trish briefly said

"That's all?" Eve asked in disbelief, "No romance whatsoever?"

Trish didn't respond, she froze, thinking of an answer, "You just asked for one question" she reminded, "we're professionals.. strictly business"

"yeah right" Dante scoffed, Trish glared at him..

"Fine" Evie sighed, she wanted details.. but Trish wasn't the type to narrate it.

"Well it's our family tradition actually" Evie began

"She's not going to say yes" Dante called, hitting the eight ball smoothly

"We'll see" Evie was confident.

So she began the tale of how they tracked down Eva's sons, how they were able to find him years ago, but couldn't quite convince them to stay home.

"He says he likes it here!" Evie scorned, looking at Dante's junk and the place he calls home.

Trish laughed, but she was anxious, something is coming, and she knows she won't like it."And you're telling me this because?"

Evie paused with a smile as she tried to construct a proper sentence wherein Trish won't freak out, Dante continued playing in the background, "My mother, Dante's grandma" Evie explained, "Everyone calls her Auntie" she reminded thinking to herself Trish should know about that, just in case.

Trish nodded

"is getting very old" Evie's eyes were sympathetic, she used to be in the theater "and we really wanted to please her so badly, and it's her desire to see her grandsons again"

Trish turned to Dante, "then go" she urged, "I can take care of business" she avoided asking about the where abouts of Vergil..

"Oh you're getting there.. down to the good part" Dante smirked

"You see" Evie continued, Trish fixated her eyes on the tiny woman, trying to see where the conversation was going before Evie could finish the sentence, "She wants to see at least one of them with a wife, it's tradition really, nothing personal. Boys should get married and Dante is right of age"

Trish froze she wasn't expecting that

"Auntie asked me to go help Dante look for a wife and as you can see he's not even trying" she grumbled

"yes I am" Dante protested

"Sex is not marriage!" Evie hissed back

Dante sighed in defeat

"Auntie has been nagging me for years now Trish" she explained turning her drama mode on.

"And she has been nagging me for years" Dante scoffed

"So you're asking me to fill in the slot?" Trish finished

"Sorta..yeah" Evie smiled apologetically

"Why not ask Lady?"

"Because I want you to be his bride" Evie whined, she almost looks like a child

Trish swallowed, that was harsh."Bride?". A color she can't picure herself in.. white

"You don't have to be married, you could just pretend" Evie followed, like that would help Trish feel any better, she on the other hand, sat tensed, trying to think straight.

"See, I told you" Dante sneered, finding a right angle to make his shot.

"It's just for a few months" Evie said feeling generous

"Months!?" Trish eyes widen, she wasn't even sure about this yet

"Weeks" Evie suggested

"Days" Dante concluded, "If she can handle all of me"

But Evie didn't loose hope, "How bout I hire you guys to pretend you're engaged or married, whatever, we'll work that out.. you're professionals right?"

"You're paying us?" Dante stopped and raised a brow

Evie saw that she was loosing Trish so she did her best to persuade her, "You know you'll like Italy, fashion week is up and you'll love our house, it's a hundred times better than this, and you can have all the clothes and all the shoes and the jewelries, did I mention fashion week? I think I did, and the food is awesome! And I'm friends with the top designers..." and she went on and on..

She never thought Dante could have other relatives, somehow she was curious about them, his so called family.. besides she could use a break from all these, she heard Evie say Italy, the best boots are in Milan she thought, not to mention the corsets and the belts..

So Trish went on trying to find more excuses for her to say yes, excluding the real reason why she wanted to accept. It was only now she noticed that Evie was still going, Dante rolled his yes, "She's on a roll"

"And Auntie is getting so old and who knows she might not be able to live up to see her grandkids how bout getting married for real? just in case you guys decided to get married for real, I'm not saying anything but then again maybe.."

"I'll do it" Trish concluded

Evie finally stopped, "you will?!"

Dante missed the hole "Really?"

"YES!" Evie exclaimed, like she had just won the lottery, she was ecstatic as ever, hugging Trish tight, "how's that!" she said to Dante

"Are you sure about this?" Dante checked

"of course she is!" Eve answered for Trish, "Cash or Check?"

"Cash" Dante answered "I want at least 7 digits.."

"I'll pay when the jig is up, that's fair" Evie said as she took out her mobile phone.

"You know Trish, there's no backing out on this" Dante said, approaching her. he was actually thrilled.

"I know what I'm doing" Trish smiled, "This could be fun. besides, we've been playing husband and wife for the longest time now don't you think? how hard could it be?"

Dante shrugged his shoulders, "true.."

"One condition!" Trish recalled

Evie waited before she could start dialing

"separate bedrooms" she said, smiling slyly at Dante

Dante heaved, he was just hoping for one big bed, one Trish in black...

"Done" Evie prompted, her phone on her ears. After that she started chatting with someone in rich Italian.

Dante dropped his head.. one big bed, one Trish in black...he felt guilty, "Trish you dont have to do this" It was a good thing Evie was was on the phone, she stood near the window for more signal.

"You don't want me to?" Trish asked

Dante was surprised, he thought there was something more in the question, maybe he was just hopeful, "No.. just that"

Evie shut her phone close as she brisk walked her way towards Dante, "If you do not do this right I will tell Auntie what Devil May Cry is really all about" it was a threat, "And you'll be outta here for good is that clear?"

Dante hate to admit it, "Crystal" he answered.

"And you", turning to Trish with a loving smile, "I get to dress you everyday!"

Trish's smile was odd, it looks like she doesn't have a choice.

"We're at the mercy of the tigress" said Dante

AN

umm I'm not so sure about this fic, it's the attack of the fluff! I mean if you'll like it or not. Last night I was doing the outline and I realized it was all done. I know what to do with this fic and I'm not so sure if you'll like the whole idea of it.

For the readers of blonde ambition, I guess you can see its kind of the same with marriage as a conflict and family as a factor, only it's Dante family this time. It's cause my 16 year old friend is getting married next month Xo.

Lots of pairings here but revolves around T D V L same as blonde ambition, only Lady is not really that.. naive about Trish and Dante anymore. Remember the one shot I promised about Lady and her pov on Trish and Dante and how she just realized her feelings for him? It will happen here..i don't now whether it's pov type though. Vergil can/will/might connive.

Umm I got a lot of influence, most of the scenes here are derived from a show aired here last year, I don't wanna give the title, you might research about it , it can spoil everything lol.

Yeah and my best friend's wedding dialogs works well in this fic.

I just realized that everything I watched fell into place in this fic, the situation, the people... so there I hope it's not longer than Blonde ambition. I'm scared, I promise the some chapters will make you laugh (no tampons here though)

I know I won't get away this time or maybe you guys are just too kind to point out but I do lack action in my fics so if you'll notice everything happens in the span of 2 to 3 days... that's cause I dont think dante could survive a week without killing something.. that's my problem. Do you guys think it would be possible for Trish and Dante to lay off the demons and the guns for one week?

What's with the title? Well caffeine and alcohol work together.. a coffee after a heavy drink of whiskey is really good. And they're both very addictive..

The divine comedy, well it's an intended comedy and I do think Trish and Dante are divine.. or not.

Sorry it's so long (hides)