He's beautiful to me. The man that lives inside of me. Who he is, I don't know. Where he came, from I don't know either. But he's there, living inside of me. Breathing the air I breathe. Seeing the things I see. Knowing the things I know. I just wish that I knew his name. His mere presence is an enigma. I know what color his eyes are. I know the length of his hair. I know the richness of his voice like the back of my hand. Who is he?

I dream about him. I fall asleep all the time. Standing up. Sitting down. Mostly when I'm speaking to her. Part of me knows why it usually only happens around her...but he won't let me know. He won't let me know anything. I only know what he looks like. And I know he doesn't want me to know even that. Why is that?

I feel so weak. So empty. So not me. So much that it frightens me. It is my blood racing through my veins, isn't it? It is my hair that blows in the wind, isn't it? Isn't this still me? Then who is he? Who is the man that haunts me? I haven't told anybody about this recent development. I have a feeling that she knows. And I know that he knows but can't tell me. I'm so confused. So very confused. Why don't I know who I am?

Somebody help me sort my thoughts out. Somebody tell me what these dreams mean. Somebody do something! Anything! Just help me. Please...

-----

Sakura stood next to Touya waiting for Yukito to appear. They were a bit worried. Yukito hadn't yet exited the house and it was almost time for school. Sakura ran up to the front door and knocked. No one answered for a short while. Then slowly the front door opened and Yukito appeared. He looked horrible.

Yukito's hair was tousled. He wore a robe, tied in a messy bow. He sported a stubble that was at least two days old. His eyes were cold and unfeeling; glasses turned at odd angle. "What do you want?" He was completely alone. His grandparents weren't home.

Sakura looked up at Yukito with childlike adoration. "We came to bring you to school. It's Monday." Yukito didn't move from the spot and stared down at her with contempt. Then he looked over her head and at the tall figure standing a few feet behind her. "You are going to school, aren't you?"

Yukito looked back down at the girl before him. "No. Why should I?" Upon closer examination one could see the fatigue that clouded his entire being. His stomach grumbled with hunger. His eyes weren't cold and unfeeling but sad and gloomy.

Sakura stared up at Yukito, confusion evident in her eyes. "Because you're supposed to go to school. It's required." She cast a curious glance over her shoulder at her brother.

Yukito took an unsteady step forward and, stumbling, grasped the door. "Just leave me alone. Haven't you done enough already?"

This time even Touya was confused. "Yuki, what's wrong?"

"Don't call me that! Liars! You're both dirty liars." Yukito was distressed. That was obvious. His eyes were tearing up and threatening to spill their tears. "What's wrong with me? I keep seeing this man in my head and he won't leave me alone. I can hear his thoughts. I'm going crazy and you two know why. But you won't tell me!"

Touya moved forward to enclose Yukito in his arms. "Let's go inside." As he led the distraught boy inside he turned to Sakura. "Go on to school. I won't be going today." Sakura nodded solemnly and ran in the direction of her school, waving to her brother who propped up Yukito. "Come now, Yuki. We're going inside."

Yukito mumbled incoherently to himself, his words coming out jumbled and making no sense. "Don't know what came over me. Didn't mean to frighten Sakura like that. What's wrong with me? To-ya. To-ya, help me. I can't live like this."

Touya's arms tightened around his bundle. Worry bubbled up in his dark and piercing eyes. He brought his foot up and the door closed with a resounding slam.

-----

"So Yukito was acting very unYukito-like?" Tomoyo leaned up against the building behind her, keeping her concerned eyes on Sakura. "And he glared at you?" Sakura nodded. "That doesn't sound like Yukito at all. Maybe he's just ill."

Sakura swallowed hard and shrugged. "Maybe." She stared up at the sky above her. "I wonder if any of this is Yue's doing..."

Syaoran laid a comforting hand on Sakura's shoulder. She gasped and glanced up at him. "I'm sure Yukito will be fine soon. He's probably a little under the weather right now."

Sakura smiled. "Thanks, Syaoran."

-----

Touya watched Yukito's fevered sleep. His hand rested gently on Yukito's clammy forehead. "I wish I could tell you, Yuki." His voice was low and came out as almost a breath.

Yukito heard it, though. His eyes fluttered open and stared up at Touya. "Tell me what, To-ya?" His face held a candid innocence, almost as if Touya said the wrong thing that he would crumble away into nothingness.

"Nothing."

Crumble Yukito did. First his eyes. Then those rosy cheeks. After that those inviting lips. Touya grabbed his hand. The downcast look disappeared and Yukito stared up at Touya with a completely different expression this time. Guilt. "I'm sorry for the way I acted this morning."

Touya shrugged. "I understand, Yuki. We all have bad moods sometimes." 'Except for you. You're never in a bad mood. Hurry up and find out what's going on.' Touya's eyes flitted over the open face before him. 'God, I love you.' He began rubbing the soft skin beneath the pad of his thumb, loving the beautiful boy even more and more.

Yukito's eyes closed again. His hand tightened on Touya's, putting a stop to the ministrations but not caring because his hand was flush against the taller boy's. Oh it felt so good just being near him. His eyes opened, glittering with need and love. "To-ya..."

'Oh God! The way he says my name...' Touya looked past the golden eyes of his Yuki and saw the man that lived behind them. 'Yue, be kind to him.' His lips descended upon the boy. Kissing first the eyelids that closed so delicately and opened so beautifully. Next kissing the flushed, clammy cheeks that blushed so brightly with bashfulness. Then kissing the lips, loving Yukito so much more with as he wantonly returned the kiss. "Yuki, Yuki, Yuki..." The single word, a mantra on his lips as he kissed even more of all the exposed skin he could find.

"To-ya..." Yukito started as adept hands glided over his countenance. Then, they stopped. The kisses stopped. Touya stared down at him, thouroughly confused. "Why did you stop?" Yukito's expression, innocent and naive only a moment ago, held the virginal seduction that could only be arousing from him.

Touya smiled and kissed Yukito again. And again. His fingers again danced stealthly over the body covered by clothing. A soft moan escaped Yukito's lips and reached Touya's ears. Touya was overcome with want but also with the need to preserve that enchanting innocence that was Yukito. He stopped again. "Oh, Yuki, I can't. You're too..."

Understanding dawned on Yukito and he examined Touya's distraught face. "Don't worry. I understand. Just sleep with me." He pulled back the covers and patted the empty space next to him. When Touya climbed in next to him, Yukito tucked him in and grasped both of Touya's hands. "Just sleep."

"Very well." Touya's head rested on Yukito's shoulder. "Yuki?" Yukito looked at Touya. "You smell."

Yukito smiled. "Sleep well, To-ya."

-fin-