Prologue

Here we all are, dressed in black and emotions uncontolled. Mom, dad and me and my brothers sit in the second row as we are close family to the deceased. Wow, deceased, that sounds strange...

Grandma is in the first row with uncle Marty and aunt Nancy as they are the ones who lost their little girl. Claire was only 6 years old when she got hit by a drunk driver as she crossed the street. He claimed not to have seen her and he denied being, but he got arrested anyway. Not that it makes a difference, it will never bring her back.

I can't imagine how hard this must be for uncle Marty and aunt Nancy, they seem to have completely broken down, but who wouldn't. And Gracie... poor Gracie. She saw the whole thing. She watched her twinsister die right in front of her. That's a lot to deal with for a six year-old. Mom said she hasn't said a word since the accident. And even now she just sits there, staring ahead, without any emotions. I really hope she'll be okay.

Mom agreed to take Gracie in for a while after the funeral, so uncle Marty and aunt Nancy can have some time alone together and get through this. Their marriage was already rocky, I can't imagine what it's like now. But for Gracie's sake I hope they do work things out, she needs both her parents right now.

After the service we head to the cars to join the procession towards the graveyard. It's quiet in the car. Nobody says a word. dad doesn't even comment on the cars in front of us, which is a first for him. He doesn't even comment on the grey Pacer behind us. I guess it's understandable, he's very close to uncle Marty and the wins especially. We watched them a lot. It's hard to see him like this. I hate the silence, but I don't say a word...

An hour later we all have a pink rose in our hand that we put on the small coffin to say our goodbyes as we walk past. We're the last ones to leave. As we turn to leave I notice Gracie is still standing by the coffin staring at it. Mom noticed I stopped walking and looks at me to see why. When she sees Gracie, she gets a sad look.

'Poor thing. I better go talk to her. ' She makes advances to walk over to Gracie, but I stop her. She turns and gives me a questioning look.

'I'll go. You go see how dad is doing, he seems to be taking this a lot harder than all of us. We'll meet you in the parking lot, okay?' She smiles sadly and nods.

'Thank you sweetheart. I'll go tell your dad to wait for you.' She hugs me and goes to find my dad and my brothers.

I take a deep breath and walk over to her. She doesn't even notice me when I come stand next to her. She just keeps staring at the coffin without any emotions. I wonder what she's thinking about. I don't want to scare her, so I crouch down to her level and softly call her name to get her attention.

'Gracie? Are you coming? Mom and dad are waiting for you. You'll have your own room this time, isn't it great?' She doesn't respond. I sigh deeply. Ofcourse not, who cares about her room, she just lost her sister.. Stupid! I've never been good in these situations. Not even with adults I know what to say, what am I suppose to say to a six year-old?

'Uhm, Gracie? Can you hear me? I'm sorry, I'm not good at this... Uhm, are you okay? Gracie?' I gently touch her arm. She jumps slightly and turns to look at me in fright. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Are you okay? Mom and waiting are waiting for you, you're coming with us for a while. Your mom and dad need some time alone, okay?' She nods slowly and looks at the ground. 'Okay, let's go then.'

I get up and start to move, when I feel something tugging gently at my jacket. I look down and see Gracie looking at me. I crouch back down to her level.

'Randy? Can I ask you something?

'Sure, you can ask me anything.'

'Do you think Claire is happy in heaven? She got hurt really bad... Will she be hurting there too?'

Wow, I wasn't expecting that... What would mom say?

'Uhm, you know what? I'm sure she's very happy up there. The angels took away all her pain.'

'You really think so?'

'Yeah, I'm sure of it. And you know what? I'm sure she's looking down at you right now and she really loves you.'

'When she got hurt, I asked God to take away her pain. And he did by taking her away. Does that mean it's my fault she's gone?'

Wow, maybe I should have let mom handle this...

'What? No, Gracie, this is not your fault. Sometimes God takes someone away that you love, because it's their time to go, okay?'

She nods. Then she puts her arms around me and hugs me close. 'Thank you, Randy.'

I hug her back and smile. 'You're welcome kiddo.'

I get up again and she puts her hand in my hand as we start walking towards the carpark.

'Randy?'

'Yeah, Gracie?'

'Am I really getting my own room?' I stop walking as she sneakily smiles at me.

'So you did hear me huh? Come here you.' I look at her and let her know I'm gonna tickle her. She giggles and runs away.

I laugh as I watch her have fun. Yeah... she'll be just fine. Everything will be fine, it'll all work out.

Oh, how wrong I was...