Disclaimer: If you recognize, I don't own it.

Seventh Year

Fred's Point of View

"Fred, we missed it!" exclaimed George, startling me from a very vivid dream about Umbridge being barraged by bludgers.

"We didn't hit Umbridge? How? We're the best Beaters Hogwarts has ever seen," I moaned.

"No, we missed our opportunity to plan our annual birthday prank. We've been so busy planning our Great Escape that we completely forgot about this," said George, scarily serious.

"Why don't we just unleash some of our newest products in the hallways?" I asked.

"That's our plan for the G.E." replied George.

"Oh, yeah. What if we make all the food dance?" I asked.

"How we would eat our cake?" he asked back.

"Oh yeah, that might make it hard. George! What if we reversed gravity?" I asked.

"We'd float into outer space." I couldn't understand why George was being such a party pooper.

"Well, if you're going to shoot down all of my ideas, why don't we hear some of yours?" I asked.

"Now that you mention it, I do have a couple of ideas. Do you remember Lockhart's Valentine's Day?" he asked me. I nodded. It was our first prank on Ginny at Hogwarts.

"His eyes are as green as a freshly pickled toad," I sang.

"What if we made everyone recite bad poetry to the object of their affections?" he said.

"Or to the object of their not-affections. That way it would really be an April Fools' prank," I suggested. George scowled.

"Rule number 1," he said. The rules were laid down by Dad years ago, after we pranked Ron. Rule number one is not causing anybody serious emotional pain.

"What if we focus on Umbridge and tell everyone she's retired? April Fools!" I chortled half-heartedly, realizing I'd gotten my own expectations up. "Never mind, that violates rule number 42—don't play any pranks you would hate to have played on you."

"Fred, I have an idea. Bring our potions' stuff"

Intrigued, I followed him through secret passage after secret passage and into the kitchen, lugging two cauldron and a several boxes full of assorted ingredients with me. I set them down on one of the tables.

George pulled his cauldron off the table and flicked his wand at mine, which grew to a tremendous size. Then George started brewing. I ran around the table chanting mumbo-jumbo. The Hogwarts House Elves watched us carefully while preparing breakfast.

"Dear House Elves, as you know, it is our birthday. We are making a most wonderful juice for all the students at Hogwarts—a gift from us to them. Please send the contents of this cauldron up to the Great Hall in the pitchers, instead of the usual pumpkin juice," asked George, who was the House Elves' special favorite.

Marly, the designated House Elf Speaker of the Day, agreed to our demands.

George and I skipped out of the kitchen and up to the Great Hall, taking a very roundabout route so that by the time we arrived to the Great Hall it was already half-full.

"I'd like to propose a toast," I said, after the other half of the student body had entered the glorified cafeteria. "To our headmistress, may she always retain her position as Defense of the Dark Arts professor."

"Hem hem, thank you, Mr. Weasley."

I noticed all the students, included the ones in the Inquisitorial Squad, drink and laugh, knowing that the DADA position was cursed. Umbridge herself drank.

The Hall exploded into conversation.

"Well, George, your babbling brook draught is working well," I said.

"Let's see about your enchantments," he retorted.

"Draco Malfoy," I said.

"I hate you, Pansy. You're so ugly and clingy. I hate Umbridge too, that ugly toad. I love Astoria."

"Daphne Greengrass," I said.

"My sister's twelve, you pervy ferret!"

"Dolores Umbridge," I whispered, allowing her to be the one to speak while everyone else sat silent.

"800 points from Slytherin!" she exclaimed.

"Severus Snape," I whispered.

"Lily, Lily, how I miss you. I remember those days we spent by the lake, in the park, swinging." Snape looked furious, like he couldn't believe what he was saying.

"Harry Potter."

"Snape and my mom! That's gross! Eww eww eww!"

"Hermione Granger."

"Professor Snape, Harry."

"Everybody!" I cried out. The noise level rocketed again. I could hear Pansy squealing to her "Drakie Wakie" about how much she loved him. Daphne Greengrass was still yelling about her sister's innocence. Harry couldn't stop saying eww.

"He sounds like a broken record, doesn't he?" said George. "I'm glad we have rule 109- accidental violations of the rules are acceptable, because they're unpredictable. Look, Trelawney!"

"Sibyl Trelawney," I whispered. The hall was silent except for one mystical voice.

"Severus, I've seen it! You'll be very happy with Dolores and me!"

"EWWWWW!" screeched the entire Great Hall and the charm of the Babbling Brook Draught was broken.

"Our apologies, students, but our best work yet will be seen in a few weeks. Signed, the Kings of Hogwarts!" The words floated in gold above the Head table for half an hour, before fading away.

I could have sworn I saw a glint of mischief in Professor McGonagall's eyes, but I was quickly distracted by the toad that had suddenly replaced Umbridge's pink hat.