Disclaimer: If they were mine we'd have been watching new episodes the second the WGA Strike ended!
A/N: Well, here's some more fluff from a brain so incredibly overcrowded with Kings, dates, Revolutions and Acts of Parliament (and most of them Canadian) that it's about to explode!! Also a brain that is extremely sick of the never ending blizzards without the consolation of Snow Days.
They had only been at work for fifteen minutes and Booth and Brennan were conversing heatedly on the platform in the middle of the lab. Well, truth be told, it was more of an angry debate than a conversation. Okay, fine, it was an all out raging argument that neither Booth nor Brennan could remember the specific cause of, but both were intent on coming out victorious at any and all costs. When it seemed as though they might come to blows they heard a throat clearing loudly from the lab entrance. They both turned to see Cam approaching, with a man in a pressed, white lab coat following closely on her heals.
Brennan glanced at her boss and was immediately puzzled by the pained and irritated look on Cam's face as she and the stranger made their way toward the platform.
"Dr. Brennan, I have someone here who is very anxious to meet you," Cam said with an apprehension in her voice that confused Booth, but his bewilderment was to be very short lived.
Instantly Booth could see Brennan's professional and impersonal walls go up.
He had to choke back a laugh as he studied the man; he fit the squint profile to a T. As much as Brennan destroyed the stereotypical 'scientist' image, this man oozed nerdiness and that smug intellectualism that Booth abhorred in any scientist except for his partner, who, incidentally, was making great progress in learning to speak and conduct herself like a normal human being.
Suddenly the man pushed by Cam and bolted up the stairs towards Brennan, setting off the alarm in the process and Booth had to fight the urge to step in between a panicked Brennan and this over-eager dweeb who was not letting anything get between him and his goal: Bones.
"Oh Dr. Brennan," he exclaimed as he grabbed her hand and shook it forcefully. "I'm Dr. Terrance Williams, I don't know if you've heard of me…." He paused dramatically, but continued when he received no response, "I am so pleased and gratified that you have allowed me the opportunity to observe and work with you for the next month in order to better understand the work you do with the FBI and how your anthropological expertise aid in their investigations."
"Why… I…" Brennan began to stutter and shot a look at Cam.
"Ummm…I may have forgotten to inform Dr. Brennan that you would be arriving today," said Cam slowly.
Try arriving at all! Thought Booth as he cringed, picturing the argument that was sure to take place after this introduction.
"Dr. Brennan," continued Williams with an infatuated look on his face, "I have read your work extensively and may I say that you are absolutely brilliant. Your methods and the procedures that you have developed are genius!" He continued to move closer to her as he spoke and Brennan backed up slowly until finally she felt her back pressed against a lab table.
"I know all about your work and I've even read your novels, which I find very intriguing and may I say you are a very articulate and well rounded author!"
"Thank you Dr. Williams, it's nice to meet you," said Brennan, getting a word in for the first time since Dr. Williams had started giving her a rundown on her own life's work. She kept her voice calm as she scrutinized the man in front of her like she would a new skeleton.
"Oh please call me Terrance," he exhorted her.
"Dr. Williams will do. I like to remain professional in my lab," she said coldly.
"You sure do Bones," said Booth, "nothing but work, work work with that one." He pointed at her an gave her a playful smirk.
Apparently Dr. Williams did not think too much of that smirk and he berated Booth: "I don't think you referring to Dr. Brennan as 'Bones' is particularly professional Agent...What was it?"
"It's Agent Booth," said Brennan testily," and what Booth calls me is none of your concern."
Williams looked taken aback for a minute, but recovered quickly before bringing out the big guns: "I wish you would let me take you out to dinner tonight Dr. Brennan. I would love to discuss your work and I believe you will find that we, as scientists and academics," he said, casting a disdainful glance in Booth's direction that had Brennan feelings suddenly defensive of her partner, "have a lot in common and would, I'm sure, find each other's company particularly….stimulating." He finished with a leer that had Booth reaching for his gun. There was no way this man was going to be around his Bones for a whole month! Not if he had anything to say about it!
"Dr. Williams," said Brennan, looking mortified and frantically glancing around for some way to put space between her and her newest fan, "I'm flattered by your invitation, but Agent Booth and I have a lot of work to do tonight."
Williams laughed a high pitched laugh that made Brennan cringe. "Whatever it is Dr Brennan, I'm sure it can wait. Whatever paperwork you have to fill out for the FBI, I'm sure a Federal Agent is capable of filling out on his own."
"Excuses me buddy," said Booth stonily, "but I believe Bones here explained to you that we have work to do tonight."
"I don't recall addressing you Agent Booth. I believe my invitation was extended to Dr. Brennan and that she can answer more than adequately on her own."
It was all Brennan could do not to rip into this newcomer who had come out of nowhere and practically accosted her while insulting her partner. How dare he talk like that to Booth! Be professional Temperance she reminded herself, remember the integrity of the lab and that this man will be your colleague for the next month.
"As I said before Dr. Williams, I appreciate your offer, but Booth and I work these cases together and that means equal participation. So," and she almost choked on the words she was going to say next, "maybe I can take a rain check."
Booth looked at Brennan incredulously, was she encouraging this love-sick loser? He seemed harmless enough, but this little nerd seemed a little too excited at the prospect of spending the next month with Bones. Well, he wasn't leaving her side for the next 31 days, no matter how she protested.
Cam broke in, feeling that this had gone far enough and feeling genuinely sorry for Brennan. "Dr. Williams, "she began, "there are a few more of your colleagues to meet, so I suggest we keep moving."
Williams turned on Brennan again. "I'm sure Dr. Brennan wouldn't mind accompanying us as you give me a tour. We must get to know each other better if we're going to be working closely for the next little while."
Brennan's eyes shot to Booth's, looking panicked. Booth racked his brain trying to come up with something, anything to keep this guy away from his partner.
"Ummm…..We…we have a meeting with the Deputy Director of the FBI in twenty minutes so we really have to get going….wow, right now!" He placed a hand protectively, possessively would be a better word, on Brennan's lower back and began to lead her off the platform. He could feel Dr. Williams' jealous glare, envious that someone was allowed to place their hands on this creature that he idolized. Booth turned and caught his longing gaze, firing off a warning with his own eyes.
Brennan sighed with relief and for the first time was glad of Booth's alpha male display as they hurried toward her office.
"Don't think I won't be collecting on that dinner!" called Williams, obviously attempting a flirtatious tone of voice, but it only came out in a way that made Brennan wince.
"Good bye Dr. Williams," she said with forced ease. "It was a pleasure to meet you." With that she turned and practically sprinted toward her office, dragging Booth by the arm.
She slammed the door behind her and looked at Booth with wide blue eyes.
Booth whistled and just couldn't allow the opportunity to tease her a little pass him by. "Wow," he said grinning, "that guy has got it bad! Even you must have noticed!"
Brennan just nodded.
"What am I going to do?"
"What do you mean Bones, what are you going to do? You show that dweeb the door as soon as he tries anything funny. Don't get me wrong Bones, you know I have the utmost respect for you, but when you want to you can be a real….I mean, do whatever you have to throw him off!"
"It's not that easy Booth. Goodman and the Board of Directors have been impressing upon me how detrimental my lack of social skills has been to this Institution. If I'm cruel to him in any way, I could be in serous trouble." She said, trying to make him understand. Normally Brennan would have no trouble breaking the rules, or some bones, and showing her new colleague who was boss. She was Dr. Temperance Brennan, who was going to fire her? It was true though, that the Jeffersonian always came first and if they had to chose between it and her she was under no illusion who would come out on top. The last thing she wanted to do was go a round with the entire Board of Directors over a battle she certainly couldn't win.
"Well, if you can't scare or anger him into leaving you alone, what can you do?" Booth asked.
"I don't know, I need to be able to work amicably with him and somehow cause him to lose interest in me." He could see her mind working quickly, processing scenarios; positing theories and wondered to himself how the heck this would play out. Suddenly, an idea began to form in his mind, and a pretty attractive one at that. The more he thought about it, the more he liked it. A pleasing little scheme that would allow Booth to approach a subject that had been on his mind for quite some time. The way Brennan had been acting around him lately left him in no doubt that the scheme, if he could convince her to give it a try, would prove equally beneficial for both of them.
"I know how you can throw him off and maintain a professional, even friendly, work environment at the same time," he state matter-of-factly.
"How?" she looked at him eagerly.
"Make yourself unavailable," he sated.
"As far as he's concerned, I am unavailable," she said coldly.
"No, you don't understand. Take yourself off the market completely."
"I don't know what that means," she said flatly.
"Do I have to spell it out for you? Find yourself a temporary boyfriend for the next month. If he knows he can't have you then maybe he'll leave you alone." Booth smiled proudly.
Brennan thought it over. As much as the scheme repulsed her, her logical mind had to admit that it suited her situation very well. The only problem was that she didn't know who to ask and she certainly wasn't going to actually get herself a boyfriend in order to make this crazy scheme work.
"I guess that would work, but there's one flaw in your plan: where am I going to find a man who will date me for one month only? It's not like there are men lining up to play boyfriend to an awkward, socially incompetent anthropologist."
Booth just grinned at her. "You're looking at him."
Brennan gasped and stared at him wide-eyed. Beautiful eyes he thought to himself absentmindedly.
"Booth, I don't know if that's a good idea," she said unsteadily. Normally she would think it was a reasonable, albeit unattractive, idea: just say she had a boyfriend and shut the creep up for a few weeks. But this was Booth! She had to smile though, if she did take him up on his offer, Williams would surely be too scared of him to make any other move on her. The one problem was that lately there had been a little voice in the back of her mind making its presence known by pointing out things that she had spent years trying not to notice: his eyes, his lips, his body….oh God, his body. She shook herself.
"I guess I could try that... but only if nothing else works," she added quickly.
Booth had noticed the way her eyes had traveled up his body as she contemplated his scheme. This was gong to be too easy.
I've always found buttons irresistable, you can't help but want to push them you know? So don't resist, hit it and tell me what you thought!