When You're Gone
By: Hitokiri Musei
Rated: T
Summary: A message about hate crimes: IchiHitsu. "I miss you, Toshiro."
Warnings: This is a rather violent fic. It's also rather short, but I still think that it gets my message across: hate crimes are bad. And they happen often. As a nation, we should do something to stop them, we are responsible for the well-being of every person, no matter how different they are. Inspired and written to Avril Lavigne's "When You're Gone."
Gay hate crimes are not a joke, and they do happen. Let's put a stop to them.
There is character death in here, as well as yaoi.
This story is dedicated to my gay friends, who I love with all my heart, and to the hope that I will never see them in a similar situation.
I don't own Bleach or "When You're Gone."
Ichigo bounced slightly on his toes, staring out into the night. He was worried, wringing his hands, nibbling on his lower lip and pacing slightly.
Toshiro hadn't returned. His small lover had left over an hour ago, and still had not come home.
Not that this was abnormal. Toshiro always went on a walk every evenging, no matter how cold it was. This particular night was chilly, and Ichigo had helped him bundle up before kissing him goodbye and watching him walk into the sunlight. While Toshiro had always had an affinity for cold, he was still vunerable to it.
Now, almost 15 minutes after Toshiro normally came home, Ichigo was terrified. Toshiro had always been very punctual; the little white-haired man had what Ichigo described as OCD about time. The fact that he was late meant something was probably wrong.
Toshiro always called if he was going to be late. He knew that Ichigo was a worrywart, and extremely protective of him. It annoyed him sometimes, but he loved Ichigo for it nonetheless.
Ichigo glanced at his watch again, chewing on his lower lip again. Where is he? Why hasn't he called?
He lifted the phone, dialing his lover's cell phone and waiting nervously, shifting his weight.
Hey, you've reached Hitsugaya Toshiro, leave me a message and I'll get back to you!
"Hey, yuki hime, where are you? I'm a little worried, could you call me when you get a chance, okay? I'll call again in 5 minutes, alright Bye, I love you!"
He didn't want to wait 5 minutes, he wanted to go charging out and find him now. However, he knew that he should give Toshiro a chance; perhaps he had met one of their friends and lost track of time. It had happened before.
The 5 minutes seemed like forever, and Ichigo dialed Toshiro's cell with shaking fingers.
Hey, you've reached…
Ichigo swore and hung up, grabbing his coat and jamming his feet into his shoes. He slipped his phone into his pocket as he went, shutting and locking the door behind him.
He walked swiftly through the cold night, his heart pounding in his chest as he went. All he could think of were the worst situations that could have happened; that Toshiro had been attacked, been hit by a car, any number of things.
He moved faster through the cool night, going along the route that Toshiro always took, his eyes flicking back and forth, searching the dark street.
"Come on, faggot! You like it so much, then suck it!"
Ichigo blinked, his eyes shooting toward an alley on the right side of the road.
"Damnit, little slut!" There was the sound of a blow, a body hitting the ground. "Suck it! If you like dick so much, then get back up here and blow me!"
"S-Stop it!" Another blow. "No! Let me go!"
"BITCH! You'll pay for that!"
Ichigo gasped as he heard a strange 'schloop'ing sound and a pained gasp, and then a thud as a body hit the ground. He looked around the corner and then his heart grinded to a halt.
White hair.
"Toshiro!"
Ichigo ran out into the alley, fists flying and anger boiling over. He hit the man standing over his lover hard, knocking him to the ground. He hardly knew what he was doing, he simply punched and kicked every inch of skin he could reach.
An opening let the man get up and back away, blood trickling from his nose and lip. "Stupid fag! You're crazy!"
Ichigo growled, clenching his fists and preparing to attack again, but the sound of a soft groan from behind him made him turn around. He spun around, dropping to his knees and gathering Toshiro into his arms, worry in his eyes.
"Toshiro? Toshiro, baby, look at me." Ichigo pleaded, his hand cupping the smaller's pale cheek. "Come on, yuki hime, open your eyes."
His lover's gorgeous teal eyes fluttered open, pained, afraid, and tired.
Ichigo glanced over the smaller man, taking in a split and bleeding lip, swollen cheek, line of blood from a cut on his forehead, bruises on his slender throat, and thin torso (his shirt was torn) and what look like a bruised and swollen (possibly broken) wrist that was tucked to his chest. "Oh Toshiro… That bastard…"
Toshiro coughed weakly, blood trickling from his lips. Ichigo felt panic flow through him, and he looked down to Toshiro's chest, seeing blood beginning to soak his thin jacket. He quickly ripped it open, horrified to see blood gushing from a stab wound below Toshiro's heart.
"No… No!"
Ichigo hoisted his lover into his arms, running out into the street yelling. "Help! Someone help us! Please help us!"
There was nothing. No response. Ichigo started to set Toshiro down to call 911, but the man in his arms groaned, bloody coughs staining his lips. "I-Ichigo…"
Ichigo sank to his knees, clutching his lover to his chest. "Toshi!"
He could feel the small body in his arms growing cold, heavy, limp. His beautiful teal eyes were growing dark, the light of life leaving them. His fingers were tangled in Ichigo's shirt, but they were loosening slowly, falling from the material.
Ichigo frantically called 911, dropping the pone as soon as the call was completed. He held him tighter, his hand stroking Toshiro's pale cheek. "Please… stay awake…" He choked on tears, a few falling to hit Toshiro's forehead. "Stay with me… Don't leave…"
Toshiro smiled faintly. "I-I'm s-sorry… I t-tried…" Tears moved down his temples, his breath hitching. "I wanted… t-to go home… I tried…"
"Shh…" Ichigo murmured softly, his thumb wiping away the tears trailing over the pale skin. "It's okay… Shh…"
"I… I don't w-want to g-go…" the whisper was pained, quiet, and sad. "I love y-you…"
Ichigo swallowed around the lump in his throat, sniffling as his lover coughed wetly, blood moving down his cheek. Ichigo petted his white hair gently, kissing his forehead. "I love you so much, Toshiro." He smiled sadly. "I want you to marry me."
A smile came to Toshiro's bloodless lips. "I w-will…" He coughed again. "K-kiss me?"
Leaning forward, Ichigo sealed their lips, ignoring the metallic taste of blood. He felt Toshiro's hand loosen and then fall, and then his head fell back, his body going limp.
Ichigo choked, his shaking hands stroking the soft white hair, the closed eyelids, pale, blood-stained lips. The tears flowed recklessly now, and he lowered his head, burying his face against Toshiro's cold neck, rocking back and forth.
"I love you… I love you…"
"Hey Toshiro."
Ichigo knelt in front of the stone, his brown eyes focused on the words scratched there.
"Sorry I didn't come yesterday; it was the court date for the man that attacked you. He got 20 years for manslaughter as a hate crime." He smiled sadly. "I just wish you had been here for it."
He fell silent for a while, tracing the words on the stone with trembling fingers. His voice was soft when he spoke again. "I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts." He chuckled painfully. "I never thought I would need you so much… I need you in my life…" He lowered his head.
"My heart is in pieces… You know, I found your shirts on the floor yesterday… They smell just like you…" Tears began to flow. "I see you everywhere, everything reminds me of you… God, I want you back, yuki hime!"
Silence. Only the cold air swirled around him, ruffling his hair and cooling his face. He smiled slightly. "Can I really keep going without you? Every day feels like forever…"
The wind buffeted him again, and he felt his heart brighten a bit. "But you're still here, aren't you?" he whispered. "You're with me…" He smiled again, racing the dragon carved on the tombstone. "You always said that you were like the winter wind…"
Another gust of air swirled, and he closed his eyes, lifting his head. "I know… I love you too…"
He stood, tucking his hands in his pockets. "See you tomorrow, Toshiro."
He walked away, glancing back only once, the cold air ruffling his coat and hair.
Kurosaki Toshiro
1987 – 2008
The whisper in the winter wind
An Angel of ice and snow