Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Emotions

By: Karasu Kyra

Calm down; it's a mantra in my head. It's all I can think. It's consuming me. Calm down, calm down, calm down. My pulse is beating so fast. My breathing is quickened. I'm not sure what the matter is, but I do know this: Something is terribly wrong. I can feel it in my very soul, keeping me within it's grip of terror. I'm frozen in place and I can't even breathe properly anymore. Gods, what's wrong?

Maybe it's this rush of emotion at all. I haven't felt emotions in a long while. So, to feel them so vividly and suddenly, I'm scared. I don't know how to react or what I'm supposed to do or what expression to wear. Just like when he died; my brother. After he died, I locked out every emotion posssible to a human being. It made me Danzou-sama's favorite and for that, I can now feel a hatred for myself.

Should I take a deep breath to calm these racing nerves of mine, to slow my heartbeat and in turn, my breathing? I don't know what to do! I feel a long forgotten warmth running down my pale cheeks. I lift a hand and touch my fingertips to the wetness. Tears. Wretched tears that should not be there. I am the master of my emotions! Why are you making me feel this? Why, Sa-su-ke U-chi-ha?!

I hate you, you damned Uchiha! I'll kill you! You are the person that I need to kill! So, why? Why is it, when I look into your swirling Sharingan, am I petrified? Is it your sheer power? Your immense hate? Or your utter devotion to your purpose? Is it that I see myself in you and I'm afraid of becoming you, so encompassed in your hate, blind to your friend's pleas?

Yes. That is what I'm afraid of. I look at my hands, my shaking hands. They've been stained with so much blood, so much. You've become a monster Sasuke Uchiha and I am worse. I am worse because I've just realized what I'm becoming and I can't stop myself. Dammit!

Then I hear my brother's voice. He's saying, "Snap out of it, Sai!" How, though? How is he here. No, wait. Blonde hair? He didn't have blonde hair. And those azure eyes as clear as the ocean. No, those aren't his either. I squint. Naruto? Naruto?!

You! You can save me! Save me from becoming him! Save me from becoming a monster, please! Can't you here me?! I can feel my mouth moving. but no words are coming out. It's as if I'm under water. I can't talk. My lungs are filling with water. I can't breathe. Everythings fading, fading...

Dammit, Sai, I tell myself. You've been running through the mist-filled woods for most of your life. You can swim! Fight this!

I take a deep gasping breath and I'm standing in the sleeping quarters of Sasuke Uchiha, his annoyed gaze on me. Then his stare shifts to the one next to me, his proclaimed closest friend, Naruto Uzamaki.

I can feel again, Naruto. I can feel. I remember how it felt to be in your position. I'll help you bring Sasuke back. I say all this to myself.

"Believe it," I whisper, a true smile adorning my lips.