Disclaimer: Drake and Josh – love it but don't own it; just for fun, no copyright infringement or bad vibes intended!

Rating: T for Teen, mild and implied slash (not graphic), humor and fluff

Author: therubyone

Summary: What might have happened that night, following the on-screen events of the beautiful Season 4 episode The Wedding.

LET THEM EAT CAKE – Part One: Up in Flames

In resignation and defeat, Drake and Josh turned and walked away from the disaster of the burning El Camino, trudging off in the direction of the nearest gas station, which was a very long 14 miles away. They kept up a brisk pace, propelled by the night chill in the air, each wrapped up in his own worried thoughts.

After twenty minutes Josh began to fall behind and finally called out to Drake, "Wait up, dude. My foot's killing me. I've got to rest a minute."

Spotting a corroding metal barrel lying on its side, just a few feet from the shoulder of the road, Josh sat down on it, weary and hurting. Josh loosened his shoelace, wiggled his foot and carefully touched the bruised area, while Drake fidgeted in place, rubbing his hands and blowing on them.

Drake complained "I don't even want to think what else this night holds in store for us. Our parents are going to kill us. Aunt Katherine's going to kill us. Everyone at the wedding is going to kill us."

Josh reminded Drake, "Don't forget Trevor!"

Drake thought and replied, "Nah, Trevor won't be that upset. He knows that car was an old piece of junk. The only reason he kept it was for sentimental reasons."

"How romantic of him," replied Josh, who thought Trevor was not only an idiot but also a bad influence on Drake.

Drake stepped onto the road and stuck out his thumb. "We can't keep on walking like this. It will take us all night. These dress shoes aren't made for marching. I'm getting blisters. And you got a rock dropped on your foot. At the rate we're going, by the time we get to the church, assuming we don't get lost, everyone could be gone."

Josh protested. "You know what Mom and Dad said. No hitchhiking – ever. What if more bad people stop? We're lucky those jerks back there only took our money . . ."

"Josh! You're the one who always believes in people's goodness," countered Drake. "There's got to be some kind soul who lives around here and travels these roads who will take pity on us. It's only a little after nine o'clock. A car has to come along."

As these words left Drake's mouth, two headlights came into view, just like in a children's story when the fairy godmother appears to save the day. The vehicle was approaching them from the opposite side of the road. It was a large, white, latest-model, extended-cab pickup. It slowed down, crossed over to them, and came to a stop. The boys looked astonished - and nervous.

The window slid down and a vaguely familiar female voice inquired, "You boys need a ride?"

Drake and Josh traded cautious but hopeful looks, as Josh hurriedly stuffed his swelling foot back into his shoe.

"Josh? Drake?" the female driver continued. She turned to the passenger beside her, saying "Look, Rena, here are my nephews! Can you believe it?"

Turning back to the boys, the surprised woman asked them, "What in the world are you two doing all the way out here in the middle of nowhere?"

Josh stood up and with an equal sense of disbelief asked "Aunt Barbara? Is that you?"

"In the flesh!" she laughed. "My God, you both look like you got lost on the way to the prom!" gasped Barbara.

Josh stiffly limped over to Drake and leaned on him for a moment. Then both boys rushed up to the open window of the truck and excitedly spilled out the story of the evening's events, in a rush of words and gestures.

As they spoke, Josh studied his aunt's face. She was older than his father. He guessed she was what they called in books "a handsome woman." Or, more accurately, she could be described as another version of Walter, that is, if he was wearing dangly earrings, a gray-streaked wig and a cowboy hat.

Josh's aunt told the boys "Well, we're kind of lost, too. We've been at a cook-out, at our favorite tattoo artist's new place. We don't know this area, so we Map-trekked the directions and this is where we ended up in the dark."

"I can't believe it," replied Josh. "This is the first good thing that's happened to us all night. We were using the same directions, from Map-trek. Not that reliable."

Drake added, "We had to travel the back roads and go slow. We were hauling this humungous wedding cake."

Josh continued, "Which, as we told you, got destroyed, by accident."

Barbara shook her head and commiserated. "Sounds like you boys are in quite a pickle. Why don't you hop in and we'll put our heads together to try and fix this situation." She turned and reached back to open the door from the inside for them. "You guys sure manage to get yourselves into some 'situations.'"

Without further comment, the grateful boys climbed into the little back seat of the shiny Golderado.

"How do you like my new truck?" asked Aunt Barb, as she made sure they were settled in.

"It's bigger than your old pick-up," Josh noted, relieved not to have to sit in the open air.

"We're happy you have extra room for us," replied Drake, who was especially glad to escape the night air.

Rena, Aunt Barb's constant companion, popped her chewing gum and flashed a friendly smile. She was dark-haired, petite, a little bit Goth, a lot tattooed, and not very talkative. She saw that Drake was shivering and handed him a fleece throw, which she pulled out from a storage compartment in the door.

Beckoning to his stepbrother, Drake chided, "Josh, you don't even have a coat. Come sit by me and get warm." Both boys shifted themselves towards the middle of the seat. They signed with relief as Drake covered them both with the little blanket.

Barbara pulled back onto the road and turned the truck around, once she was satisfied that the boys were comfortable.

Drake spoke up, "Do you think there are any stores around here that might be open?"

"Ones that might have some cake?" said Josh, completing the question.

"Usually where there's a gas station there's some kind of town. Let's have a look-see."

Ten minutes later they rolled into a gas station with a small convenience store. Glancing in the rearview mirror, Barbara thought how adorable the boys looked, dressed in their finest, wrapped in a blanket, and conversing quietly together. If she didn't know any better, she would've thought they were two little lovebirds. They looked so adorable; they could adorn the top of a cake themselves!

"Stay put, boys. We'll be right back," Aunt Barb told them, as she and Rena got out.

Drake said to Josh, "I never knew your Aunt Barb was such a take-charge person!"

"Oh, yeah. She doesn't generally go around crushing cell phones. Man, we are SO lucky she happened along."

Squeezing Josh's arm under the blanket, Drake said, "Josh, I'm really sorry I screwed things up for everyone."

Josh patted Drake's knee. "Drake, I'm the one who's sorry - that I was ragging on you so hard all night. Giving that laptop case to Craig and Eric . . . it was a mistake anyone could make. A miscommunication. There was no way you could have known my keys and phone were in the case. You could have checked, but there was a lot going on and I don't blame you now. I just feel bad we let everybody down."

Drake slipped off his shoes and brought his legs up under himself to warm his sore, frozen feet. "I know you do. So do I," Drake consoled Josh in return. "And I never should have threatened you with telling about Mr. Puff-Puff. That wasn't fair."

"It seems kind of funny to me now, the way you were sticking it to that tow truck driver about his name," admitted Josh, with a smile.

"I couldn't help myself," Drake sulked. "I was still mad from when those thieves knocked us down. Leslie was just the last straw."

"I knew that guy was pushing your buttons!"

"That crack he made wasn't appropriate. And then he breaks the car window without even warning us!" Drake sputtered.

"I know," Josh soothed. "But sometimes you have to bite your tongue. He could have rescued us."

"You're right. But I was under duress . . . that is a word, yes?"

"Good use of vocabulary! And besides, you would have made a beautiful bride . . . or groom!" Josh teased.

"Don't worry, I'll tell Mom and Dad what happened with the cake." Drake cuddled into Josh's side for warmth and comfort.

"We'll both tell them. We're in this together, bro," replied Josh, obliging Drake's search for heat, by wrapping his arm around Drake's shoulders.

Aunt Barbara, little Rena, and the store clerk emerged from the shop, each carrying a stack of large cardboard trays containing assorted packaged snack cakes.

"Do you think 50 will be enough?" asked Barbara. "That's everything this gentleman had on hand."

The boys had no idea, but fervently hoped it would be enough. The cardboard cases were secured in the back with a bungee cord and they were quickly back on their way.

"I hope you great aunt won't mind two gatecrashers who aren't exactly dressed for a fancy wedding," chuckled Aunt Barbara.

Drake snorted. "Well, she's so forgetful, she might not even notice you. And WE definitely need the moral support!"

Aunt Barb chuckled at that. Even her laugh sounded a lot like Walter's. She also had his quick temper, which was usually more bluster than bite. Barb had felt bad about destroying Josh's cell phone at his surprise birthday party. It was just that she'd never been punched in the jaw before! Later, Rena had, in her quiet way, suggested to Barb that her reaction was somewhat out-of-line, and Barb had wanted to make it up to Josh ever since. Here was her chance!

"I got the directions to the church: First Presbyterian on Shady Grove Road," Aunt Barb confirmed. "So it's on. Now you boys let me do the talking. I know how to handle Walter."

The boys nodded, feeling their lagging spirits begin to rise, now that someone was on their side. Drake started to feel so relaxed that he dozed off, his head resting against Josh's shoulder.

At last reaching their intended destination, Josh told Aunt Barbara to pull around to the back of the little white church. They were supposed to deliver the cake through the kitchen entrance.

Josh squeezed Drake's shoulders and whispered gently in his ear, "Hey! Wake up! We're here. Time to get ready for the wrath of Aunt Katherine." The adrenaline started surging through Drake's system at that and he was instantly alert, quickly pulling on his shoes.

The four of them carried the cardboard trays of packaged desserts inside. The church volunteers had long been expecting them. Everyone in the kitchen busied themselves, removing the plastic packaging from the cakes. There were Ha-Ha's, Doodle Cakes, Little Suzies, Snowpucks, Twinkles, Dutch Rolls and more. Each one was placed on a small white china plate that had been lined with a dainty paper doily. The plates were then promptly loaded onto serving trays and stacked into slots on a rolling cart, and rolled out into the main assembly room.

Aunt Barbara started nudging her reluctant nephews forward, gently pushing them towards the swinging doors. "Time to face the music, fellas!"

CONTINUED IN PART TWO