'What the Hell…'

Disclaimer – Unfortunately, I do not own Naruto, otherwise I would have made Gaara have a happy childhood!

A.N – This fanfiction is designed to be paired with another of mine, called 'A Big Random Hole'. It was on my old account but I haven't reposted it yet. Although time wise it came first, you can still read this one. It won't confuse you much.

Btw, the first chapters might be a little slow, but there's a point to them! I swear!

Chapter 1

Where's My McFlurry?

Hey there!

This is the story of me, Gemma, and my adventures in wonderland! AKA Naruto land.

It all started four years ago…

I was coming home from evening classes (at fourteen! I hate my Dad) celebrating with a McFlurry 'cause I'd just aced a test!

All of a sudden, the world turned upside down.

Literally.

Like I was standing on my head.

Before I could so much as utter an "Eh?" I was falling. Into what I haven't a clue.

I was to busy screaming "What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…" Well, you get the idea.

Anyways, next thing I knew I was in a field, with three guys.

All staring at me.

Go figure.

Now previously, I was a Naruto fanatic (I refuse to admit to being a fangirl) and as such would have flipped at the idea of watching this fight.

As it was, however, I couldn't remember a thing.

Oh, not amnesia! I remembered who I was and who the P.M was and that the U.S President is a chimp and all that shite.

Just bugger all about Naruto.

Sod's law bites me on the arse again.

So as far as I was concerned I'd gone from an April evening eating a McFlurry, to a warm day with a sore butt.

With three guys looking at me like I'd just eating the last cookie.

My first thought was 'Ow!'.

Okay, my first seven or eight thoughts were 'Ow!'.

And then, confusingly, 'Where's my ice cream?'.

And finally, 'That guy has bones growing out of his chest…ew!'.

So, me being concussed and all, I stood up and said the only sensible thing I could think of.

"Dude, that is the grossest thing I have ever seen!"

I ignored his glare and turned to the other two. "And who the fuck are you?"

Suddenly one tackled me to the ground as a bone projectile almost took my head off.

I sat back up, nodded my thanks to my saviour and growled at 'Bone Boy'.

"What the hell? You almost took my head off, you bonehead!"

The boy beside me sniggered and bent down to whisper in my ear.

"It may not be the best idea to insult him."

I turned to look at my protector properly, and had to choke back a laugh.

He had weird eyes, a bowl cut, eyebrows that seemed to have a life of their own and a green jumpsuit.

And I though I had bad fashion sense.

Still, he did save me, and I didn't want to seem rude. So I just a raised an eyebrow of my own.

"Why is he trying to kill me?"

My question was emphasised by another projectile flying at us. This one was blacked by a wall of…sand?

I looked at Eyebrows to see him give a nod of thanks to his companion.

I turned to look at said companion.

'Ding dong!'

Now he was hot!

Looking back now, I'm glad my memories were suppressed. If they weren't, I might have jumped him, sand or no sand.

A proper red-head (not ginger, RED), a Japanese symbol on his forehead, a major eyeliner obsession, pale skin and an extremely bored look on his face.

'Yum!'

But, I digress.

For about five minute, I looked at hot Panda Boy, he looked at Bonehead, Bonehead looked at Eyebrows, and Eyebrows looked at me.

Staring.

With my mouth open.

Possibly with drool.

Never did get a straight answer on that.

Eventually, nice as Panda Boy was, I got bored and turned to Bonehead, who, if you're interested, had pale skin, white hair, and eyes that looked like he'd been drinking for three days straight.

"Okay, enough. Why are you trying to kill me?"

He glared at me.

"You insulted the legacy of my clan!"

I turned to Eyebrows. "Huh?"

"You mocked his Kekkei Genkai."

"His whaty what now?"

Eyebrows looked at me with exasperation.

"His bones. You made fun of them."

The final answer came from Panda Boy.

'Mmm. Nice voice.'

"Oh. Why didn't you say so?"

I stood up straight.

"I'm extremely sorry that your kakathingy is so gross. Now, stop. Trying. To. Kill. Me!"

At this, Bonehead gave a roar and charged at me.

Eyebrows grabbed me and jumped out of the way before dragging me behind Panda Boy. Who unfortunately had a jar on his back so I couldn't admire his ass.

He then collapsed into fits of giggles.

Panda Boy just sent a wave of sand at Bonehead.

"It really wasn't that funny…" I mumbled, staring at Eyebrows.

He wiped his tears away and stood up.

"I am sorry, but you must be either very powerful or very stupid to confront such an enemy. And you do not have a look of power about you."

"Ta!" I growled. "I'm stronger than I look y'know."

"I am sure that is true." Eyebrows agreed. "But still, it is best that you leave this to Gaara and I."

"Humph." I said, sitting down crossed legged. "So he's Gaara, huh?" I looked at Panda Boy, now known as Gaara, who was busy covering Bonehead in his own personal sand suit.

"What about you Eyebrows? You got a name?"

"I am Rock Lee! Splendid ninja of the Village Hidden in the Leaves!" He proclaimed proudly.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Ninja. Right, of course. Because that just explains everything." I shook my head and sighed. "What did those McDonalds bastards put in my ice cream?"

Lee (I couldn't call him Rock for god's sake) looked confused.

"You mean this?" He held up my McFlurry. Minus the spoon, but beggars can't be choosers.

I squealed and grabbed it. "Ice cream! Yeah!"

I glanced back at the sand cocoon now covering Bonehead.

"Hey, you killed him."

"Almost." Gaara said simply. And raised an open hand. "Sand Burial!"

And closed his fist.

A loud crunching came from the cocoon.

There was silence for a moment. Until I decided to break it.

"You squished him." I said nonchalantly. "Ew."

Yes, I know it's not eyeliner, but at this point Gemma doesn't.

Please read and review. I have low self esteem. ;)