'Hey, Sirius'

'Yeah?'

'What's wrong?'

'Nothing, I'm fine.'

'Can I sit down?'

'Sure'

'Look, Sirius, I've been best friends with you for 5 years, I can tell when you're upset.'

'It's just…no it's stupid…'

'Sirius, you can tell me. I don't care how stupid it is.'

'It's just…I feel a bit lonely. I mean, James and me used-'

'James and I'

'Moony, I thought you wanted to know'

'Sorry I couldn't help it. Go on'

'Well, as I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, James and I used to be so close. And then Evans actually goes on a date with him and suddenly he has no time for me. I didn't realised I could be forgotten so easily.'

'Believe me, you can't be.'

'What?'

'Oh, nothing. You know what you need, don't you.'

'No'

'A girl. And I mean a proper one, not one you'll have sex with and then forget about. I mean a girl that makes you happy, one who will stay with you through thick and thin. You need a girl who you can take things slow with and eventually grow to love. A girl that can make you whole so you won't be lonely any more'

'Wow, I guess you're right. But where can I find one of these. I've shagged practically all the girls in Hogwarts, definitely all the Gryffindor ones.'

'I wouldn't be so sure about that Padders. I know some girls you haven't shagged, and you just don't realise there are still some left because you just focus on the ones sticking their breasts in your face!'

'Hey! That's not fair!'

'…'

'Okay, maybe it is, but none of those girls will want to go out with me.'

'You'd be surprised. Anyway, tell me your ideal girl and maybe I can find the right one to hook you up with.'

'Actually Remus, I think I have some homework I have to do.'

'C'mon Padfoot! Don't try and back out of this, it'll be good for you'

'Fine!'

'So what's your perfect girl like?'

'Well…um…firstly…um…it would have to be a guy'

'…what?'

'You heard me!'

'You're…gay?'

'Yeah, you got a problem with that?'

'No, of course not! Why didn't you tell me earlier?'

'I thought you would be disgusted.'

'Well that would be a bit hypercritical.'

'Seriously? You're gay as well?'

'Yes, but that's off the topic. So what would your perfect guy be like?'

'Well, personality wise, he'd have to make me laugh, and he would have to be able able to stand up for himself and our relationship, but be a bit vulnerable at the same time so I could protect him. He'd have to be clever so I could copy his notes, um, not too outgoing because I think I'm loud enough for at least two people. And, well, just generally nice and kind to everyone, especially my friends. Looks wise, he'd have to be handsome, I know it's shallow, but I don't want to be disgusted when I look at his face. Quite long hair because I want something to run my fingers through, but not too long that he looks like a girl. Browny blondy hair definitely, and amber eyes, no doubt about that. And he'd have to be different, you know, have something special about him…'

'…'

'…'

'…so, um…you're saying…'

'Yeah, if God could make the perfect guy for me it would be you.'

'…'

'…'

'I love you'

'Love you too'

'Well are you going to kiss me or what?'