Second to last chapter! I think...depends on how the next chapter goes.

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Chapter 11: 4 A.M. Forever

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Had it been days he slept, or years, or just a few minutes? Either way, Roxas woke to the now-foreign feeling of complete lucidity. He blinked his sky-blue eyes sleepily, for once not clouded by confusion, nor haunted by memories he was unsure of the origins of. Axel awoke to see his boy sitting up and smiling, an oddity these days, and he scooped him up into strong arms. A large, warm hand found its way to his stomach; the other cupped his cheek as chapped lips pressed to Roxas's petal-soft ones. Roxas pulled back first, pouting and looking sadly at the redhead.

"Axel…" he started, glancing guiltily at his hands and avoiding his intent gaze. "I…I love you. G…got it memorized? You can't ever forget; promise me you won't ever forget! This…today is probably the last time I c…can tell you. I'm so…afraid, Axel. I can't even…I can't even remember how we met, the first time you k…kissed me! Was it night, day, dawn? Did I cry, laugh….did I smile? Was your hair always red, or was it silver? My name…was it always Roxas? Didn't it used to be…Sora? Didn't we fall in love on the beach, or was it on a clock tower, maybe watching the sunset, on the grass…"

Axel lowered his head into the crook of Roxas's neck, breath hitching sharply as he grasped at his shirt, fingers grappling for purchase on the tight fabric. He kissed the soft skin gently, sucking and leaving marks darker than what he normally would dare do, but this wasn't like any of the other times, now was it? No…not at all, not one bit the same.

"Roxas…the name of my beautiful boy, my angel….it's Roxas. Roxas, you got that? My hair has always been red; red like the sunset. You remember what I told you that first night? Red travels the furthest, and I would travel any distance to keep you with me. I won't…I won't let you go. You can't leave me. There'll be day after day of sunsets for you to tell me you love me, okay? I love you and you…you'll love me forever. Got it memorized?"

Roxas looked out the window, eyes watering and tears spilling down his face as he whispered shakily "I…I'm not sure I do. Never let me forget…please, please, Axel…can't you keep me safe?"

The redhead looked at him, stared not for the first time since he'd met Roxas, and nodded slowly, afraid to admit he was terrified. He slid the shirt up his boy's belly, soothing the worried skin with nimble fingertips; he was so close to due. Too close to be dealing with this mental strain. The kisses pressed to the back of his neck are what he hopes are enough to convey his feelings, his determination and devotion. The tears coursing down his face are what he hopes are enough to convey his despair, his fear and devastation.

Roxas trembled and shook under his lips, arching his neck to invite more of the kisses that seared his heart, to let his lover know that he wanted more than this dismal touching. He wanted to make love one last time before he laid down in his grave; to make a coffin of their mattress where the two would fail to breathe just as they always had when they laid eyes on each other. He wanted to hear his funeral dirge in the form of gasps and moans as he said his last goodbyes; he wanted to be buried in Axel's scent.

And Axel took heed of his silent request, removing his borrowed shirt and sliding the sweats down his thin hips, fingers stroking the velvet skin as they went down and eliciting a choked out sob of a moan, teeth running down his shoulders and sending shivers down his spine. Roxas bowed his back as best he could to show his appreciation, placing a tiny hand on his strained belly but then sliding it up his own chest, teasing rosy nipples between fingertips until they rose into perfect nubs, then up further still until his hand tangled in Axel's bright hair.

Axel moaned breathily as the hand gripped his hair, turning Roxas and laying him on his back, but Roxas pushed himself back up.

"No…" he whispered, face flushed as his hands slid up Axel's shirt. "Let me do it…let me take them off."

"Anything you want, Roxy," Axel said with a grin, leaning back to let his tiny hands work and marveling over the beauty that was his little Roxas, as fleeting as the spring he brought to the Organization. It was impossible to think that in little more than a few days he would be gone, more impossible to know that he wouldn't even know his name anymore.

Once completely naked, Axel crawled on top of him, wary of his tummy as he made an arc to position himself at his entrance, green eyes sincerely meeting blue as he pushed into him. Roxas screamed, and it was ragged, teary, beautiful. Axel followed suit, husky, desperate, heartbroken. It seemed like, for once, time stilled, and it was only the two of them in love and in need. It was peaceful and everything they needed to tie the loose ends. Yes…the thread of Roxas's dwindling life was enough to tie those loose ends.

Axel held him when they were done, stroking along his side, his tummy, grinning sadly as he felt their son and watched Roxas wince in unacknowledged pain. He didn't sleep though his lover did, just stood a silent vigil over his little Icarus, who had flown too close to the sun and came spiraling back to the ground, dead. Dead, dead, his angel was dying, flickering before his disbelieving eyes. It was impossible to think that he would be left alone. And would their son live? Would Roxas live long enough to give him life? It would all be for naught if he died as well. But Axel didn't think too deep into it. Axel never searched, because he was afraid to find.

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Xigbar was never too terribly careful when going through the hallway, and he rarely if ever watched where he was going. So that was how he ended up plowing head-on into a moody Demyx, who looked appalled that he dared confront him. He turned his blonde head in a way that scorned him though he didn't speak, not yet. Xigbar looked him over thoroughly for the first time since the day he jumped ship; the bulge his stomach was sporting looked more adorable than the elder was comfortable admitting, his skin looked healthy despite the bags under his ocean eyes, and his posture had altered to accommodate and protect his baggage. Demyx looked up at him with a mixture of sadness and fury, and he let loose the cannons. Demyx knew how to fire the big guns when he wanted to, and he was just as much of a straight shooter as he former lover.

"You have a daughter, Xig," Demyx said softly, enunciating just enough to get the possessives right. Xigbar felt the bullets pierce his heart. "Just thought you should know."

And then he was gone, bustling around in the clumsy way he did, never daring to look back. Xigbar stood stationary in the middle of the hall, a hand over his heart and bleeding a desperate love for his lover and child…his daughter. But a good soldier never cried, never admitted defeat, and Xigbar was entirely too proud to go crawling back.

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Roxas had been out for days, and he was still in a state of semi-consciousness when he went into labor. The only indicators for Axel to pick up on were the sudden scream that ripped from his lips, and the way his boy began to sweat, a hand refusing to be torn from his aching abdomen. His eyelids flickered open and closed, emitting little slivers of blue. The redhead ran him down to Vexen, explaining the situation frantically and allowing his boy to be taken into the blonde's arms.

It took hours of meticulous surgery, but Vexen's precise hands yielded Axel's son, handing him off to the father as soon as he had been cleaned. The new father cradled the tiny bundle gently in his arms, grinning widely as he counted perfect fingers and toes, noted the rosebud mouth that so resembled Roxas's when he slept, and the shock of bright red hair on his head. Roxas stirred, and Axel bent low over him, leaning the child in towards him.

"Would ya look at that, Roxy?" Axel said, still trying to smile, tears breaking his voice. "Look at your pretty baby…come on, Roxy…hold your baby! He's so beautiful…just like his momma."

Axel set the child into his shaky arms, and surprisingly enough, Roxas held his head up. Clumsy fingers ran over the child's miniature features, the hand falling useless to his side when he was done, strength exhausted.

"….Eiri…." Roxas whispered, so quiet Axel could barely hear that he had said anything, eyes still half closed. "That's…his name. It's…Eiri…another chance for you, A…A…"

"Axel," the redhead finished. "My name is Axel. Please, baby, please….tell me you got at least that memorized."

Roxas shook his head sadly, whispering "I told you it was the last time," as his head slumped onto his chest. Axel took the baby, held it close to his chest as he kissed Roxas's pale lips one last time, then he stood up on trembling legs.

"Well, Eiri," Axel said, addressing the child by name for the first time. "Guess it's just you and me from here on out. Remember your momma, yeah? Remember him forever. He's beautiful."

Axel would never see his Roxas again.

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Yesterday I lost my closest friend
Yesterday I wanted time to end
I wonder if my heart will ever mend
I just let you slip away

4 AM forever

Maybe I'll never see you smile again
Maybe you thought that it was all pretend;
All these words that I could never say
I just let them slip away

4 AM forever

And I'd wish the sun would never come
It's 4 AM and you are done
I hope you know you're letting go
It's 4 AM and I'm alone

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Sorry for the long wait, and sorry again if you don't like the turn the story's taken. I prefer a nice, tormented Roxas to a happy one. Thank you so much to the people who've kept reviewing and watching, it's greatly appreciated, and frankly the only reason this story got updated.