Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Sasuke was, for lack of a better word, pouting.

But only because the stupid female form he was currently stuck in couldn't do a proper death glower. And the closest thing to a death glower he could get had a tendency to make passing men give 'her'…less than honorable compliments.

Considering the bar they were in; a popular hangout for the gangs whose leaders they needed to seduce, those compliments went from bawdy to the downright disgusting.

To his extreme annoyance, Sakura wouldn't stop giggling. The pink-haired medic seemed to find his current, uncomfortable state extremely amusing. Sasuke glared at her, one eye twitching

"Calm down, Sumi-chan," she said, mindful of the shady company they were in. Lowering her voice, she added, "It will all be over soon." She reached out and tucked black tresses behind 'his' ear to calm him.

It didn't work.

"Not soon enough," 'Sumi' hissed back. 'She' tugged on the dress she was wearing irritably. Even though it came down to the knees, the red silk garment felt uncomfortably fitted and revealing. The pumps were a pain to walk in, and no matter how Sakura insisted to the contrary, Sasuke was positive they were Itachi reincarnated, trying to indirectly murder him.

At least he wasn't in Neji's (or should he say, Nori's) situation, with the short leather skirt, fishnet stockings and scary high heeled boots.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun," she said his real name softly, which made him feel a little better, "I really don't know why Tsunade thought that sending all of us on a seduction mission was such a good idea."

By 'us', she referred the entire Konoha Twelve, the boys Sexy no Jutsu-ed into their female forms.

"Then again," she added, "If a bunch of brawny boys started boasting in my hearing how easily they could trick enemy kunoichi into telling them what they want to know and I was drunk and irrational and had access to seduction missions that had yet to be assigned…" A vein in Sasuke's forehead throbbed dangerously.

"But what did I do to deserve this?" Sasuke snapped. "It was only the dobe, Hyuuga and the Inuzuka. Why did the rest of us get dragged into it?"

"You did betray the village, Sasuke-kun."

"I thought she got over that!"

"Only you men would think something like that." Said Sakura, amused, "Obviously, she didn't. And anyways, you're very beautiful." She added as an afterthought, taking a sip from her glass. "Kunoichi that look like you are always in high demand."

She gave him a critical look over, as though to back up her statement. With long black hair, thick eyelashes, a slender, supple body, he was definitely prime kunoichi stock. However, the still-mannish mannerisms rather spoiled the effect, mostly the stiffness.

"Still unfair," Sasuke grumbled, knowing he sounded like a spoiled child but not caring very much.

"Yeah, it kinda is." Sakura agreed, still smiling. "But at least you got off easy. Naruto and Kiba, or should I say, Naru and Kiki have the perv as their target."

"You call some fifty year old goon easy?!"

"He gets drunk easily," she explained serenely.

Sasuke resisted the almost overpowering urge to bang his head as hard as he could against the bar counter. He should have known that coming back to Konoha had been a bad idea…

A light arm around his shoulders brought him out of his gloomy thoughts.

"Don't worry, Sasuke-kun," she whispered in his ear, "It'll be over before you know it." She followed up the assurance with a peck on his cheek. Sasuke abruptly stiffened and blushed, irritably noting that his (femaleish) hormones seemed to have too much control over his body temperature.

"Hn. Whatever." He grumbled, wondering if his face was steaming. "I still don't want to do it."

"Be more polite, Sumi-chan," Sakura reproached, raising her voice slightly, "You don't want to scare any of these fine men away."

She fluttered her eyelashes at one of the several men who kept stealing glances at the two of them; he smirked lecherously back. 'Sumi' narrowed her eyes at him, after a couple moments of intense staring, the man's smirk disappeared and he looked away. Satisfied, he turned back to Sakura, only to be met with a scowling face.

"Sasuke," she spoke in a whispered hiss, "The point of this mission is to appear approachable, you know. Which means—"

"No scaring off potential informants," recited Sasuke grumpily, "I know."

"Good."

"How do you stand it?" The question escaped his mouth before he could stop it.

"The catcalling?"

"…And the other stuff, too. How?"

"My, we're being very chatty today." Remarked Sakura, smirking a little at Sasuke's responding scowl. "But an answer to your question; it's easy enough after you go on enough missions. I've gone on five in the past few months." She giggled, amused at the slightly horrified expression on Sasuke's face.

"Of course," she continued, "I was just the distraction; really, I haven't suffered much. You should hear the stories Kurenai told us in kunoichi class; you wouldn't believe the things she's had to do…"

Sasuke was seriously beginning to wonder which was worse; a mission where you and most of your teammates would probably die, or one where you would live but have to do…things that would compromise any vows you had made or would ever make.

"…Anyway, it would probably not be something you'd want to hear about." She finished, ordering a second drink of something fruity smelling and (Sasuke hoped) nonalcoholic.

"Probably not," he muttered, twisting on the bar stool. "Remind me, what am I supposed to do again when the target comes?"

"Just tempt him; bat your eyelashes, act coy, purse your lips—Sasuke-kun, stop trying to vomit—just act flirty. It's easy."

"I still don't want to do this." Sasuke noted with some satisfaction the throbbing vein in Sakura's temple, indicating rising exasperation.

"It won't take long, as I've told you a thousand times." Taking a breath, she cast him a curious glance. "What are you worried about?"

"Unpleasant memories." Sasuke really didn't want to elaborate. But Sakura persisted.

"What are you taking about? It's perfectly easy to just block it…" she trailed off. Sasuke thought she would get the point.

Much to his annoyance, she not only got the point, but doubled over in near hysterical laughter.

"What's so funny?" he demanded, feeling very put upon.

"That's w-what you've been t-thinking a-about?" She was almost breathless, but managed to calm down, "Oh God, you really need to relax. You probably won't have to kiss another man unless you want to." Incensed, Sasuke tried to protest to the contrary, but Sakura barreled on, "After all, I certainly haven't had my first kiss stolen, your second is perfectly safe." She couldn't stop giggling, almost falling off her seat.

"You haven't?" Sasuke blinked, surprised.

"Well, no." Sakura demurred, "I've been lucky. Besides," she smiled cheekily, "I'm waiting for the perfect moment for the perfect kiss." Sasuke raised his eyebrows, and then smirked as a delightfully devious plan came to mind. It seemed that his 'girly' mind could be quite handy.

"So, I have to tempt him?" Sasuke asked lightly, slipping off the stool and standing awkwardly with 'his' hips tilted, his left hand resting on one of them, as Sakura had taught him while trying to keep a straight face.

"Precisely," Unaware of what was going on in Sasuke's head, she responded with a teacher's critical eye. "But you are so stiff, can't you relax even a little—"

She was cut off when Sasuke slid 'his' body half onto her lap and kissed her right on the mouth. One of 'his' hands twined in her hair, the other rested on the small of her back. Though completely aware that not only Sasuke, but Sasuke as a woman, was stealing her first kiss, Sakura didn't stop him.

A little later, Sasuke reluctantly drew away, smirking, very pleased with himself. Sakura, for her part, was in shock. Her cheeks were red from both blushing and a lack of air; she looked completely bewildered.

"What was that?" she demanded.

"Safeguarding, for both of us." Said Sasuke, shrugging, "And you told me to relax. I chose the easy way. So," He looked around the bar, "Is that goon here yet? I want to get this over with."

Sakura also looked around as well, despite still being a little dazed. "Over there." She pointed at a scrawny man in an expensive suit who was just entering, flanked by two guards.

"Hn. I'll be back." With a slight grimace, Sasuke headed in the man's direction, uncomfortably swaying as 'he' walked.

Sakura didn't bother to watch. She knew he would do fine.

However, right now, she needed another drink.

A/N: This was really hard to write, not because I didn't have any ideas, but because the pronouns for Sasuke were really difficult. Written in time for Sakura's birthday, yeah!

I drew inspiration from the blanket's fic Excuse Me, Miss!, do read it.

Review please!