A/N: I'm still writing my other story if any of you even care… it is finally getting to the actually plot line. This story popped into my head randomly. Sorry for the AUness, and my odd tendency to make up words. BTW, Twilight has caused insanity. (One way or another, whether it was directly from my obsession, lack of sleep, or me quitting gymnastics, or a mix of all three, I don't know…) Sorry for the long author's note…on with the story! (Be warned, I usually get carried away with them)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. All these wonderful characters belong to Stephenie Meyer (one day we will take over and make Edward ours..But until then I worship at your feet)
I got dressed in a daze, as usual. I didn't even notice what I put on. I barely noticed what I was eating. Charlie said something, and I responded, but if asked, I could not tell you what I said. I should have been doing a better job. I realized now that I hadn't been doing a good job of fooling Charlie. I mostly gave up trying when I discovered that I hadn't been fooling anyone.
I woke up though when Charlie suggested I go out. When I heard his voice, it broke through everything. I desperately wanted the fog back even if the perfect clarity of his voice had been beautiful. Earlier, I had passed by the Marks with the mind that I would break promises. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't break my promise to Edward. It felt like betraying him, even though he didn't care, and my broken heart wouldn't let me. Still, I had been thinking all that night about would have happened if I had gotten the motorcycles.
The next day, I went to the Blacks and found it surprisingly easy to interact like a human around Jacob. I even think I smiled. But my heart still hurt terribly so when Jacob left me, and then later explained about werewolves, I sort of went crazy. I was so sick of him constantly mentioning things about them. I snapped. I refused to go see him because all it did was bring me pain. (A/N: different from New Moon. Jake isn't her personal sun, it starts out that way, but Bella is sick of him trashing the Cullens and he is too stupid to notice that it causes her pain.)
I still had my nightmares, and I still only did what I had to. My grades were still fine; nobody had occupied the space where Edward had sat, so I didn't talk much. Nothing had changed much about me since Edward had left. The only difference: I didn't have my mind of fog. But for some odd reason, I would purposely concentrate on one detail of him every night before I fell into a fitful sleep. I wasn't sure if it made the nightmares worse or better, but I did it anyway, because I didn't want to forget him. He said that human memories faded, but I could still remember fairly well. Not with the same clarity his voice had had when I had heard him in Port Angeles, but still pretty clear.
Tonight, I focused on his eyes. They were the hardest, yet most comforting for me to picture. On one side, I remember the way he used to look at me. Before I turned 18. On the other side, I also remembered the way his eyes had looked blank the day he left. The way his eyes didn't look the same. They were tired looking. Like he was tired of pretending I now realized. I loved and hated picturing his eyes, but they were the part of him that I was least willing to forget.
I eventually fell asleep. It was the same nightmare, the same nothingness as usual. Again, I woke up screaming. However, something was different, something about the air was oddly peaceful. Then, from then I a sound came from the corner of the room. A sobbing that I wasn't supposed to hear.
A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, not used to writing at my dad's, my friend has my book, so I can't look at it, and I had an idea of how I wanted to end the chapter already and I couldn't change it. Review please and tell me what you think because I'm not sure if it made any sense.