I saw a flash of scarlet turn around the corner. A smile danced across my lips as I recognised the girl. I quickened my pace, willing to do just about anything to see her face, to see that spark in her emerald eyes. Her cloak billowed out behind her as she continued to walk at a brisk pace, oblivious to me.
Closing in, I called out to her. "Oi! Lily!" I couldn't help that the smile on my face grew more pronounced as I said her name. "Hey."
"Hello Potter." She replied, somewhat warily. Though, I could not blame her, for each time I had spoken to her since third year I had accosted her someway or another, usually it was an invitation to be my escort to Hogsmeade.
"You look…" I took in her flushed cheeks, rosy from the bitingly cold air. Her fiery red curls fell in tangled locks, hanging more than halfway down her back. The shocking green of her eyes that glistened cautiously as she peered at me. Everything was just the very essence of her, Lily Evans. "Lovely." I declared. My own eyes seemed unable to cease roaming over her delicate features, committing every detail to memory. The smooth slope of her neck, the straight angle of her nose, the way her long eyelashes touched across the top of her cheekbones when she blinked. I loved every bit of her.
"Oh. Uhm, thank you, I suppose." She looked down towards her feet, a faint blush colouring her cheeks even more.
"Modest as always." I chuckled, enjoying the way I felt completely at ease with her and absolutely terrified of saying or doing something wrong at the same time.
An awkward silence befell us as my quiet laughter drifted away and as usual, I hadn't the slightest inkling of what to say to her.
"Listen, Lily…" I began, fully intending to apologise for every torturous moment I had ever forced her to endure. "I'm… uh… sorry, you know. Really, really sorry."
"Oh." Her eyes widened in disbelief. James Potter, apologising?! I could almost see the words running in a marquee through her ever-active mind. "Erm— Thank you."
Neither of us spoke for a few minutes. It seemed as if the silence was final, though I longed to know what she was thinking. Noticing the feeling of finality, she turned to leave, her swirling tendrils of hair swishing over her shoulder. It stirred the air and I could smell her distinctive scent. Lily did not wear perfume, rather she allowed the things that surround her become her fragrance. The smell of parchment and some exotic flower wafted around me sensually.
"I… uh… Lily! Wait!" Before I had figured out what exactly had happened, the words had already slipped from my lips. Those five, fateful words. "Go out with me?"
She didn't look that surprised and when she spoke, her tone was soft and oddly caring. "No, James…"
With that, she turned and walked away quickly, so as not to see the hurt expression that masked my face that she had witnessed to many times before. But I didn't care. She had turned me down before and despite my irrevocable devotion for her, I'd grown somewhat used to her rejections, though not completely immune to them. But this time, I didn't care that she had said no. I didn't care because she had called me James.
The last time she had called me by my given name was in first year, the first time she had met me and hadn't know enough to hate me.
What, exactly, did she mean? Was she finally reconsidering? Was she thinking about accepting one of my numerous invitations? Or was this just some new way she had cooked up to send me into an overanalyzed hell?
I groaned loudly, my sounds of aggravation bouncing off the stone walls, and stalked out to the Quidditch pitch, thoughts and doubts all centering around Lily plaguing my mind.
Grabbing my broom from the shed, I leapt into the air, soaring over and around the stands, letting the frigid breeze wash over me. I wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to where I was flying. All I could think about was Lily and though that wasn't much of a change than my usual train of thought, the location of random trees and stadium stands did not break through the wall of Lily Thoughts. Thoughts whirling around of everything about her. Her hair… her eyes… her confounding answers…
And then, all of a sudden, I was plummeting to the ground. My stomach seemed to leap into my throat. My heart felt as though it was beating far too fast and far too slow at the same time. Distantly, I heard a shout that the wind carried away instantly. It sounded like some charm that I vaguely remembered. The ground was rushing up much too fast, coming closer and closer with each passing second.
I was going to die. My life did not flash before my eyes. I did not picture the times where Sirius Remus Peter and I would prank on 'innocent' Slytherins. I did not see my life through the eyes of the stag I sometimes held the form of. No, with my one last thought, I pictured Lily in my mind. The happy, carefree Lily that laughed heartily with her friends. The Lily that gave a soft smile to frightened first years. The Lily that spread raspberry jam on her toast each morning. I pictured every Lily but the angry, irritated Lily that regarded me. I smiled just before I hit the ground, a loud thud rocking through my body as I did.
I was expecting to hear the sickening snap of breaking bones. I expected everything to just go black. But I didn't. I had landed on the ground, but it was considerably softer than normal frozen grass and soil. I lay back, willing my hyperventilating to slow, my eyes shut tightly.
"James!" I heard the voice loud and clear, the same voice that had shouted that familiar spell, though now it was shrill and full of distress. "Merlin! James!" Her voice was closer now. "Oh goodness! James, are you all right? Can you hear me?"
I opened my eyes slowly, savoring the feeling that built up in my chest. And I saw Lily Evans, incandescent eyes widened with worry, long flaming red hair fanned out around me, perfect face molded into a look of utter concern. It was the opposite of any Lily Evans that had ever spoken to me. She smiled when I opened my eyes, her ethereal skim glowing in the sunlight.
"I'm terrific." I sighed. "Absolutely terrific." And I truly was, for I had seen a feeling other that pure hatred on the face of Lily while she was looking at me. That was all I needed to know in order to do what I desired most.
Unable to restrain myself any longer, I let my arms wrap around her waist. She bent her head towards mine and I kissed her. Her soft lips moved against mine and the sweet flavor of the one person I would ever love made me shiver with absolute delight.
I broke my lips from hers only to whisper in her ear. "I love you."
Because from now on, I'm taking every chance I'm given.