Discalaimer: Don't own it

Roger was at home playing his guitar one day. Mark noticed he seemed depressed.

"Roger what's wrong"

"I'm an asshole," Roger replied, "if it weren't for me April would still be alive"

"Stop it Roger," Mark said, "you know that's not true"

"It is true, Mark," Roger said.

Then he proceeded to tell Mark the story.

"As you know April was still a minor when she moved in here and legally I was considered her guardian. I was an adult and 3 years older then she was. After I had quit drugs I made April promise to quit.

"She did for awhile but then I saw her stoned, high as a kite. Something had to be done. That was when an idea struck. It was the worst idea I ever had, but at the time, it seemed brilliant. I was going to stick her with a needle that didn't have drugs in them.

"I thought that way she would see that drugs can hurt. Don't ask me why I thought that. I was an idiot. And I was a bigger idiot buying the needle from the drug-dealer. They reuse needles.

"So anyway when I got home that night, after seeing for myself that April was not stoned, I spoke to her. I explained to her that I loved her too much too let her mess herself up like she was and it stopped today. She promised me it would stop and I told her what was going to happen. She of course was none too happy about it but I was firm and stuck her with the needle anyway

"Of course she cried. Of course I consoled her and put soothing lotion on her skin. Of course I held her. Eventually she stopped crying and fell asleep. I couldn't sleep.

That night I went and stuck myself with the same needle. It hurt like a motherfucker but to be honest I was relieved. I had to feel like I was being punished for making her cry. Well a few months went by… and you know the rest of the story. She got AIDS because I was an idiot and I got AIDS because I was an idiot"

"Roger," Mark said, "first of all you don't know that's how it happened. Secondly if it is that's not being an idiot. It's making a mistake. Third, do you really think April would want you punishing yourself like this?" "No," Roger said quietly, "she wouldn't"