TRACING THE MEMO

CHAPTER FIVE

"Damn that Shindou!" Waya cursed loudly in the emptiness of his apartment.

He was going over the day's events in his head since Shindou stubbornly refused to remove himself from the thoughts of Waya's troubling mind. At the moment, he was glad he had an apartment to himself, though he had yet to share the news with his friends. He was glad he wasn't with his parents who, if they chose to be nosy, would question him about his continuous outbursts.

But, just thinking about Shindou was bringing him a headache and his blood refused to stop boiling. Shindou always managed to get on his nerves, but in the years they were together, he managed to shrug most of it off as merely Shindou being younger, thus still childish. But now, that brat…it's all that lousy punk's fault that Waya just couldn't calm himself.

It had been a few hours since he left the hospital, just as visiting hours were over. Shindou had tried to kick them out of the room a second time just as the doctor was about to leave, but that brat had failed to do so just because the two of them had ended up arguing, again. And all because of that, Waya had failed to catch what the doctor had briefed on Shindou's condition.

Waya removed himself from his sitting position, letting himself fall backwards on his pillow, setting his arms behind his head with his eyes resting on the only thing before him – the plain ceiling.

The window next to him was opened, and a soft night breeze invited itself in. Gently brushing over him before it scattered, the breeze successfully calmed him. Finally relaxed, he tried to force his thoughts away from Shindou.

He was instantly greeted by Morishita-sensei's stern and massively scary, pinched face. Forcing down a scream, Waya instantly cringed at the image. Because he had visited the ungrateful little monster at the hospital, he had missed out on the study group, which he knew was quite unlike him. Sensei had scolded him when he finally contacted him right after leaving the hospital. In the midst of it all, he forgot to share the news about Shindou-kun.

Even so, this was Shindou, for goodness's sake! His friend! How could he just ignore his friend? The friend who had missed out on the necessary oteai matches, the friend who he suddenly didn't know at all and could even drift farther away with every passing second?!

Every thought he had linked back to Shindou. Gee, Shindou was seriously invading his mind. And probably soon, his life!

Waya tossed to his side, trying one more time to rid of all thoughts concerning Shindou, hoping sleep would be more merciful by coming quickly. His attempt proved unsuccessful as his open eyes fell upon his four legged goban, the only object that existed in his apartment other than a few clothes and his squeaky, but still comfortable bed.

Touya Akira. He had visited Shindou.

Waya supposed he shouldn't have been surprised. After all, it was starting to be well known that Touya saw Shindou as a rival. Even so, he still couldn't stand being in the same room as that obnoxious little know-it-all. And he had to endure it for the entire day.

Waya sighed. All this thinking definitely wasn't making him sleepy, not even the slightest. And sleep wasn't being cooperative either. He rose from his bed, stretched a bit, and cruised out the front door. Maybe a night walk will do the trick.

Once outside, the cool breeze was most welcoming. Even so, it took a while before Waya grew comfortable enough to begin walking. The neighborhood would take some time getting used to, but it seemed safe enough for tonight. He'll just have to be sure his thoughts on Shindou weren't too captivating for him to forget his path home.

He took a deep intake of the cool air. With it, he could smell the stuffy warmth that came with summer and its herbal aroma. The familiar smell brought a small smile to his face.

It really has been a long time since he's been out in the night just to relax and be alone with his thoughts. Being with his parents had made such an experience a luxury.

He took his first step and began his long walk in the night, the few streetlights glowing eerily in the pitched-black darkness were more than happy to light his way. His head cleared for a moment as he listened to the continuous buzz, the night's heartbeat that never really cease nor grew. There was no other sound except for a few occasional cars that zoomed by, their engines mumbling softly about becoming much too old. At moments like this, he was glad for the silence that came with living in the suburbs.

But the silence was only a momentary bliss. The silence left the void in Waya's mind open, filling it with none other than Shindou Hikaru. And of course, Touya Akira, who just have to naturally slip by his mental door.

Waya couldn't help but wonder, just how did Touya know Shindou, especially that Shindou had the potential to be a threatening strong Go player? He kicked a nearby stone. It skipped. It's hard sound echoing softly, swerving off the sidewalk til it made contact with a light pole. As he looked upward, swarms of little insects gathered at the warm light. Though it radiated dimly, in the darkness it was the brightest.

A small smile tickled at the edges of his lips. The light, it was like Hikaru. When associated with its kind, it's like another clone, trying to shine brightly. When left alone, it's radiance still shines. But its potential, the magnificence, can finally be visible and bright, and trying to pinpoint that source of brilliance will leave you blind. Just like Shindou, trying to dissect him left you searching in the dark. It was like, there were no answers to the mysteries shrouding Shindou. The more you search, the more you were lost. Waya couldn't help but sigh. He was sighing too much lately. Still, just how was he to better know his friend when the secrets create a wall between the two of them?

On the topic of mysteries, the baffling email was another puzzle. He regretted not reading the entire email the night before, resorting to skimming after his eyes caught the news of Shindou's hospitalization. But reading the next line, he remembered, had spoke of an entirely different subject, and his concern for Shindou had skipped over that. What that particular subject was, he couldn't quite remember.

If only he was at his parents' house. His computer was there after all. Going there at this time of the night would raise questions, and he couldn't particularly say it's just to read an email. He didn't want they're scolding either. But there's still tomorrow. He'll do it first thing tomorrow before visiting Shindou.

At least, Touya wouldn't be at the hospital tomorrow. Waya grinned. Touya still had school, which will give him the chance to be the first to return Shindou to normalcy. Waya wasn't sure how, but he was certain he'll come up with something at the spur of the moment. After all, he still had to talk to the doctor about Shindou's condition.

At the corner of his eye, he noticed another figure walking on the other side of the street. In the darkness, he could only make out the outlines. And it was the shape that made his stomach flip. S-Shindou?

Hikaru continued gazing through his haven's window, his eyes scanning the night city scene unwrapping before him. He didn't feel like sleeping yet, despite that it had been quite a fully exhausting day for him.

He was glad when he was finally left alone in his plain hospital room. He had felt very much at peace, just calmly gazing at the brilliant colors of sunset welcomed by the open curtains. Unlike the silent and unmoving night, the sunset was most amazing. The colorful lights, slowly dancing, had been just as magical and surreal as from the night before, if not even more.

Yet, it must have been an illusion by the teasing lights, but there it was nevertheless. In the light, he had caught a glimpse of the ghost. It had been fuzzy, unfocused, and gone in an instant. But he couldn't have missed the essence of the ghost, its familiar presence overwhelming his senses, even if it lasted just for a second.

Hikaru hated to admit it, but the ghostly image had his curiosity continuously thirsty for answers. But it was the answers that he was afraid of knowing, for he was certain many things would change.

Staring into the night, it provided him with no more answers, just more questions, and Hikaru hated to be confused. Reluctantly, he withdrew from his position. He closed the curtains behind him as he headed to his bed.

Moving his legs had been awkward at first. His new height took a while to adjust to. His muscles felt heavier and number than he remembered, which he suspected was due to too much sleep. Overall, his 15-year-old body just felt different and awkward to move in. He didn't dislike the feel of it, but he rather had his 12-year-old body. It was more comfortable and familiar. And right now, what he wanted most was to be comfortable and surrounded by familiar things. There were already too many strange people disturbing him.

Once at his bed, he positioned the pillow to cushion his back as he sat leaning against the wall. In any case, it wasn't the ghostly image that discomforted him. It was something else entirely.

His mother had returned just as Mr. Monkey-faced Sunglasses was leaving. The doctor had also left right after finishing the conversation with his mother. Although Hikaru had been preoccupied arguing with the idiotic red-haired boy about Go, his ears, at the least, were able to catch and process the idea that the doctor suspected him of having amnesia. And for sure, he was certain the doc was wrong. Besides, if he did lose memories, wouldn't he know it? Or at least, get some feel for it?

Yet, that piece of information was not what made him moody and uncomfortable. It was the news his mother had finally announced just before sending Akari and her two companions to fetch dinner.

"Tomorrow, after the check up, you can return home. Isn't that great, Hikaru?"

No, it wasn't great. But it wasn't the response he answered his mother with. It just wasn't what he expected. It wasn't what he wanted. He wasn't sure why exactly, but a strong feeling inside of him was clearly against leaving. Even now, in the emptiness of his room, he was certain its sounds vibrated strongly, wanting him to stay, the ticking of the clock emphasized it, seemingly to get louder and louder in his ears. The few hours of silence once everyone left enabled him to indulge his mind further into the matter. However, he had never been able to come to a conclusion. Everything seemed so confusing.

There was yet another thing that frustrated him. Go. He knew for a fact that he wasn't interested in such a thing. But there was that disturbing image in head, which had flashed a moving white stone. There had been a familiar feel of excitement, a certain thrill when he grabbed the board from the pretty boy and opened it himself. The emotion was not directed just towards the board, but to his opponent, whom he had suspected would be the nameless boy. Focusing on the board, those nineteen by nineteen lines stared at him, as though judging him. And he quivered in anticipation.

But those feelings quickly dissipated after the red-hair's outburst, replaced quickly by shame, guilt, and a certain hollowness.

Hikaru tilt his head, enough so that he could easily glance at the window. Like the night before, a shadowy river of light forced its way into the room. He couldn't help but me mesmerized by it. It seemed so ordinary, emitting nothing spectacular about it. But it still enchanted him. In fact, almost everything about the room seemed to enchant him, bringing a puzzling sense of comfort. Was every hospital room like this, or was it just him?

Transfixed, he gradually drifted to sleep, his thoughts drifting to that ghost.

After a moment, the sun finally dipped below the horizon, leaving behind a trail of its warmth in the form of hazy colors. As the leaves fell around him, they're autumnal colors matched gently with the sun's shadows.

Only when the last of the colors vanished, swallowed by the darkness of the night, and the falling leaves finally stopped did he hear the soft whisper of his name. His name couldn't have sound much sweeter. The spoken voice, familiar yet strange, filled the void in his heart. For some reason, just hearing the utter of his name felt so good. It made him complete.

He turned, facing his side, as if to see the owner of the sweet voice. His eyes following the falling glimmers of tears before glancing, meeting the eyes of a handsome face. The glossy amethyst hues, accentuated by the long streams of lavender hair, gently but sadly gazed into his own. Though he knew not of the beautiful stranger, he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of sorrow, tainted by a trace of guilt.

"Why are you crying? Is everything ok?" It was a whisper, for he felt he couldn't be too loud.

"I guess we never really moved on," a faraway look glazing the deep sadness in those purple eyes.

"You know, it's really good to hear you voice," he smiled in hopes of easing the sadness.

"Hearing those words, it makes me weak." His companion shifted his gaze, looking in the distance where the sun decided to settle in for the night. "And I never wanted to say goodbye, but you make it hard to be faithful."

"Faithful?"

Under the scrutiny of the stars and night sky, the pretty stranger looked like an angel, his outlandish white outfit flowing slightly in the breezes like large wings. Yet this angel did not fill the silence with the answer to his question.

"It's funny that you're calling me tonight." The angelic stranger turned to face him, a fraction of his face hidden behind an open fan.

Little did he realize that talking to the beautiful angel will start a fight.

A/N: Whew, it took nearly five chapters to get the first day over with it. To be honest, I had trouble with this chapter, especially attempting to revise it, so I ended up cropping A LOT of stuff away, sort of ruining some fun of writing this chapter and making it shorter. Hopefully, it still meets your satisfaction.

I need your help and vote: Would you like to see "Tracing the Memo" extended or keep it as a short story? I've been considering this idea. Please let me know by the next update (which gives you at least one week, maybe two depending on how preoccupied I am with the exams). If the story is extended, the main concept won't change as much. The story will be more evenly pace, there will just be more stuff, more details, more substories, etc. I'm fine with either choice, but which would you as the reader prefer? Well, let me know. That way, I can still revise the story before it's too late to make the necessary changes.

I'm also coming back to work on "A Threesome Go," so if anyone would like to help me by being my beta for that fic, please let me know. I can't have Cherrilicious help me on every piece. Poor thing needs a rest.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! The questions that have come up will not be answered now, because they will be revealed in upcoming chapters, and there's no point in looking forward to future chapters if they're spoiled here and now. ;) Don't be afraid to flame, as long as you indicate the reason

Acknowledgements to anonymous reviewers:

+ Me – Yippee! Hehe, Akira sure thinks a lot. Makes me have a headache sometimes xD. Hm, I guess I can understand that it's still hard to understand Go despite the aid of the terms and some comments. It's easier if you have it laid out in front of you instead of just the coordinates. Hopefully, those volumes will come out soon. Otherwise, I guess you can always try and read them online. And thanks for pointing out the present tense vs the past tense. I tried to make it purposeful in that chapter, but when I went back to pay more attention to it, I noticed I misplaced some of them… Sorry for the confusion. Thanks for taking your time to read and comment!

+ Reader 3 – Heh, cute heart. Is it beating for me? :P Hehe, thanks for your flattering. Some of the drawings made sense, but not all of it. Trying to figure out what could be wrong was the confusing part xD. I'm not sure if the author of the story plays Go, perhaps at least a bit in order to understand and write such a great story. But there is a Go pro (Umezawa Yukari) who helped the author and the artist. If you seen the anime, she's the one who does the "Go Go Igo" thing at the end. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well :)