I don't own the characters, just the story.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who emailed me about finishing this story. You gave me the encouragement to continue. Thank you to Janet Evanovich for creating the perfect hero in Ranger. He gives me my inspiration to write.

Life for One

By Lisababe

I shoved away the plate of food in front of me, and settled my elbows on the table. Cupid had obviously arrived early at the Manoso house this year. I was surrounded by my family enjoying a dinner prepared by Grandma Rosa. The amount of kissy face at the table was nauseating. Celia and her husband Ken were beside me, if Celia wiped his mouth one more time there would be no skin left on the poor smuck's face. My brother Marco was across the table from me whispering in his fiancé's ear while she giggled, I watched him slip his hand under the table and her neck flushed a bright red. I sighed and glanced at the head of the table where papa and mama sat, I watched in disbelief as he picked up her hand that was resting on the table and grazed his lips across her knuckles. My parents were never affectionate. Occasionally you might catch a soft look pass between them but never a hug or kiss. I scooted my chair back and threw the napkin on my lap onto the table. I stood and made my way to Grandma Rosa. I leaned down and brushed my lips across her forehead. She smiled up at me.

"La cena era delicious."

I heard my mother's voice and I looked over at her.

"Carlos you can't be leaving so soon. You've hardly eaten and you haven't visited in so long."

"Mama I have work."

She stood up, kissed me on the cheek, and slid her hand in mine.

"Can I speak to you in the kitchen before you go?"

I contemplated faking a beep on my pager but instead I nodded my head and followed her.

I stood in the middle of the tiny kitchen and waited. She turned and looked at me and I took a deep breath. The last time she had that look I got a lecture on how dangerous my job was and the impossibility of carrying on the family lineage with my lack of a social life.

"Carlos I haven't brought up the subject because I felt it was none of my business, but in the back of my mind I can't help but wonder the answer."

"What mama?"

"What role does Stephanie Plum play in your life?"

She could have hit me between the eyes with the rolling pin on the counter and startled me less.

"We are friends who occasionally work together."

She looked me in the eyes. "I was at the hospital when you were shot. I saw things that you did not. I saw a very emotional woman who was devastated over you being hurt. I can understand being upset over a friend who is seriously harmed, but this was far more than that. I witnessed the pain in her expression, and the obvious love for you on her face. I wasn't the only one. This man named Joe Morelli, he saw it too. The pain on his face was as obvious as the pain on hers, but his was over the loss of confidence he had in their relationship."

"Mama, you were upset and probably emotional as well. It was a hard day for everyone and I'm sorry that I put you through it."

"Carlos, you must take me for a fool."

I saw the angry glint in her eye and I knew I wasn't going to bullshit my way out this time.

"Mama you are not a fool, I know that you want someone in my life, Stephanie is not going to be that person."

"She's not of your heritage but that has never stopped you before where woman were concerned. You seem to have things in common, why wouldn't she make a good mate for you?"

I turned my head and looked out the back window at the snow starting to fall. How many times had I asked myself the same question? Why did I continually deny myself a relationship with the only woman that I had ever connected to emotionally?

I looked back at her and sighed. "It's complicated."

"Well uncomplicate it before you wake up one day and find it's too late."

"My life…"

"It's an excuse Carlos, a way to push away the inevitable. We can't always have things exactly the way we want them and at the precise time, we need them. So you are afraid you will mess up as you did with Rachael. If you never take a chance, how will you know? Don't tell yourself you are afraid to place Stephanie in danger because of your lifestyle, because it's obvious she thrives on that life just as you do. If you don't want to be married again, fashion it into a relationship that will work for both of you. There are no written rules on how to love someone, so sometimes you must make them as you go."

I walked over and pulled her into my arms and smiled as she lay her head on my chest.

"Mama I know you want what's best for me, but I can't do something just because it's emotionally good for me. I live a life where emotions can cost lives."

She pulled away and looked in my eyes.

"Have you ever rescued Stephanie from a bad man?"

I smiled. "Yes more than once."

"Were you afraid for her to the point you didn't know if you could bring her out alive?"

"Yes, but…"

"You are already emotionally vested in her life. Stop telling yourself it won't work. I've seen you shut down emotions on more than one occasion I know what a hard ass you can be, don't let your training cost you the most important decision of your life."

I kissed her on the cheek and pulled away.

"I'll think about it."

"Don't think Carlos, do something about it before it's too late."

I picked the lock and slipped into her apartment as I had so many times before. There was a light on in the living room, but as I checked out the rest of the apartment, I discovered she wasn't home. Her SUV was in the parking lot so she must either be at Morelli's or out with Lula. I noticed the yellow roses on the coffee table that Morelli had sent to her for Valentines Day.

What a dumb fuck.

Any man with a brain knows you send red roses to someone you love. I snorted under my breath as I looked around trying to locate the rose I sent her. I smiled when I found it in a vase on the nightstand beside her bed. I silently left the apartment.

I slipped inside the Porsche and headed for Rangeman. I drove by Pino's and noticed Morelli's SUV in the parking lot, I felt like a dumbass as I pulled in and parked. I saw Stephanie sitting in a booth by the window with Morelli. She was smiling and talking a mile a minute. He reached across the table and gave her a bite of the slice of pizza he was holding, and then wiped her mouth when the sauce dripped down her chin. What the hell was the deal with the mouth-wiping thing, was that an international proclamation of love or what?

I shook my head and continued to watch as my intentions for this evening unraveled in front of me. I sighed as I watched them laughing together. I was surprised as an uncomfortable feeling settled in my chest. Most of the time when I saw them together it wasn't a one on one interaction like the one I was witnessing in front of me. I hadn't noticed the ease at which they spoke to one another. I could never remember a time she ever looked at me the way she was looking at him. She was relaxed, and why shouldn't she be, he was a constant to her. I was like hot and cold. I pulled her close for my physical needs and then denied the intensity of what I felt. I knew something changed between us right after I got shot, but I backed off again. I denied the emotion and shoved her back at Morelli, and I was viewing the results of my efforts. I saw Morelli lean across the table and kiss her softly on the mouth.

I had seen enough.

I reached down and turned the key in the ignition. I put the car in gear and glanced up to see her staring out the window at me. Morelli had disappeared and her face was all I could see. I pulled out of the parking place with a feeling of total disgust for myself settling in my gut. I looked over at her one more time and gunned the engine as I read my name on her lips.