Mario Kart: Endless Revolution
Chapter 1: Mario's Story
G'day! I'm Jake Huxhall, but known far and wide as "Mario". Most recently, Nintendo released a game system known as the "Nintendo Revolution" (like a Wiimote with a disc slot and a projector), complete with the game "Mario Kart: Endless Revolution". Needless to say, I'm completely awesome at it, but recently strange things have been happening every time I boot it up. Like last week, for example…
It started off like any other day. I overslept, missed the bus and had to walk to school. I live six miles away from where I learn, so by the time I got there it was almost lunch. Long story short, I now have detention for all eternity, give or take. Luckily for me, my mate Marcus accidentally blew up the chemistry block for the third time, so I was not alone.
When the time came to finally go home, I decided to pop 'round to Marcus's for a quick round of Mario Kart. I pulled out my Revolution, he pulled out his, and the game began!
THREE…
I revved the throttle menacingly.
TWO…
Marcus pushed his hat up out of his eyes.
ONE…
I zeroed in, diverting all my concentration to the race.
GO!
Our racers shot off, zooming down the track. Mario quickly overtook Luigi, but the green plumber stole the advantage going round a sharp corner. I pelted over a speed boost and thought I had this thing won, when suddenly a sharp force hit Mario in the back and caused my controller to vibrate. A red shell, I thought to myself. But I couldn't let that distract me. We were coming round the final bend, and I suddenly felt so determined to win. No, more than that. I had to win. I pressed down on the throttle, and suddenly the most bizarre thing happened. I was seeing the race through the eyes of Mario. It was like I was Mario. I pressed down with my thumb, but the steering wheel in my hands wasn't a wiil (wii remote plus wheel. Pretty clever, eh?), but an actual steering wheel. Bearing that in mind, I pressed down hard with my foot…
And shot backwards. Hell, I'm thirteen. I don't know how to drive! Luigi shot past the finish line and Marcus let out a whoop of delight. It's not often that I let him win.
Later when I tried to describe what had happened to Marcus, he laughed and said something about "not being able to handle defeat". I got angry at this and threw my Revolution at him, but it bounced off his head and he just laughed s'more.
Later on my way home, I bumped into a couple of guys in hoodies. I walked past them, trying not to catch their attention, and carried on my way. They evidently didn't feel the same way, though, because a few seconds later a small rock hit the back of my head. I, not wanting any trouble, took out my wallet and phone, ready to hand them over. Thievery obviously wasn't their motive, because they just started throwing more rocks. I dived into an alleyway, hoping to lose them, but just found more angry rock-throwing hoodies. I lashed out with my fist, hoping to catch one of them, but instead hit a fire-escape ladder. Stupid ladder, I thought to myself, there's no way such a useless thing could ever help anyone… no, wait, hang on… I grabbed on of the rungs of the rusty old ladder and pulled, hard. It snapped off in my hands. Perfect, I and swung the iron bar menacingly. "Okay! Who wants some?" I declared, waving the bar around my head. I must have gotten a little over-enthusiastic at that point, because I accidentally clipped a hoodies over the ear and knocked him out cold. They took this as a sign of hostility, and the rock-pelting began anew. A particularly big one hit me in the head, and I collapsed to the ground, completely depleted of energy. I just lay there, waiting for the final blow, but it never came. Instead a hand reached out to help me up.
"Sorry about that," The voice at the other end of the helping hand said, "the boys sometimes get a bit excited when they meet strangers."
"Maybe you should get a professional trainer." I wittily replied.
"Well, I've tried, but they just don't seem to take to new people." His expression was deadly serious. "Anyway, the reason I brought you here is a simple proposition…"
"No."
"I haven't even told you what it is yet!"
"Yeah, but your hoodie army threw rocks at my head!"
"You know, I've always thought of them as more of a battalion… hey, shut up! Anyway, I just want a race. It's that simple. A three-circuit race on Mario Kart Revolution."
"Uh-huh. And what's the catch?"
"Well, if you win, you might just be good enough to join our gang. Whereas if you lose, you are of no use to us. Well, maybe not no use…" he threw a rock up in the air and caught it. "We could use you for target practice."
So basically, I'm in the deep stuff. I win, I work for a gang that enjoys throwing rocks at people and making them join their rock-throwing gang. But if I lose…
Crap.