Title:Interviewwith the Undead

Inspiration: Boredom.

Characters/Pairings: Aizen, Urahara

Warnings: Aizen and Urahara being... them.

A/N: Follows from after Aizen's capture, and happening in the current Quincy arc.

Kisuke. How nice to have you visit. Has the boy rushed into another predicament?

If you call the Vandenreich a predicament. How are they treating you, Sousuke?

They are treating me as well as they dare. A cell six paces by six paces, no apertures, and a door barred by every barrier device known to the shinigami. There is a chair, however, and a bed.

No room service or in-house entertainment? Tsk tsk. I would speak to the management were I you, Sousuke.

If you were me, you might have ascended already. And then there wouldn't be this Vandenreich problem, would there? Or you could have let me become God, and then you wouldn't have this problem either.

I'll take that into consideration. Have you encountered them?

Once or twice. I don't remember the encounters; the leader was not willing to engage in an all-out fight.

Why was that, may I ask?

I wanted to tear down Soul Society. So did he.

Ah. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Let's not go too far, Kisuke.

Of course. You have met him then?

Once. On neutral ground, just him and me. He is very arrogant and pretentious.

Pot, meet kettle.

I am not pretentious.

… Oddly enough, I have to agree. You are more of a megalomaniac than a pretentious prick.

I also have a better fashion sense.

I suppose so. Although you seem to prefer monochrome color schemes a little too much.

My belt was red.

To draw attention to your waist?

An accent color, Kisuke. And the attention was not to my waist.

The piping of your coat. I see.

He dresses like a homeless vagrant.

Ah.

Like you.

I should feel insulted.

Be insulted. Vandenreich will decimate Soul Society.

Why do you say that?

Because everything here is constructed of reishi, and that is what he uses to attack.

Oh dear. That means we will need to shift the battleground to the human realm again?

The boy would love that.

I don't want to risk him again.

Do you have a choice? He is the most powerful weapon – I'm speaking of raw potential – that you have.

But he is not the most powerful weapon Soul Society has.

Hitsugaya would not last a minute. Nor would Kyoraku.

Not them.

You are an intelligent man, Kisuke, not a hero. Don't try to be one.

Noted. Also, not referring to myself.

I have no wish to be involved.

And if you can redeem yourself?

I see no reason to redeem myself for the inhabitants of this realm, Kisuke.

Don't be a fool Sousuke, there are innocents also.

No such creature, Kisuke.

I will give you the hougyoku again.

That is because you don't fear me changing into a god again.

As long as you stay away from the butterfly outfit and the weird mouth-arms, I have no issues.

That was not my intention – my metamorphosis happened to take that form, that was all.

You looked ridiculous.

It's all about the looks, isn't it?

I'm very shallow and superficial. So, how about it? Hougyoku and freedom in exchange for taking down the Vandenreich?

The hougyoku grants wishes. There is nothing I want any more.

Are you certain? Everyone wants something.

Kisuke. There is nothing that I want anymore now that I know what I truly wanted.

That was the past. Now?

I am still the same person, Kisuke.

People change, Sousuke.

Not me.

You won't fight the Vandenreich?

Not interested.

What if they want to fight you?

You can try to provoke them into trying to kill me. I've tried to kill me. Nothing works.

We'll see. It's been nice talking to you, Sousuke. Sleep well.

Good to hear from you too, Kisuke. Let me know how things turn out. And tell your boy to use his head a little more. He might be surprised at what he can do with it.

Thanks, Sousuke. I'll be seeing you.

Maybe.