A/N: Ok, this is nothing more than an excuse to promote our favorite stories and authors on FFN. Yes, I did say our. I'm working with my best friend Kiisa on this insane fic. And even though there are plety of OCs in this fic, none will be paired with any bishie, so hopefully that will keep you Mary Sue haters off my tail. In fact, the plot of this fic centers around trying to get our favorite pairings together.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, Zemyx would be canon.

Warnings: AU, yaoi (shounen-ai really), and fangirl OCs

Pairings: Zemyx, AkuRoku, SephirothCloud, Marlene, Soriku, XemSaïx, and whatever else happens to occur.

"A very merry unbirthday to you!"

"To me?"

"To you!"

"A very merry unbirthday to you!"

"Who, me?"

"Yes you!"

"Now blow the candle out my dear and make your wish come true!"

"A very merry unbirthday to you!"

Sometimes Amaya wondered why she took this job. Then she glanced toward the long table around which she danced wildly and sang happily. She spotted Kiisa and the other waitresses grinning and singing just as crazily as she and the guests, some admittedly forced to attend, and her doubt lifted. She was surrounded by the new and old friends she had made at the Mad Tea House and her favorite game in the whole, wide world here at Kingdom Hearts: Disneyland. As a Mad Waitress, she could openly stalk Sephiroth and Zexion like the fangirl she was. Truly, the only problem with her job was that it really needed a pay raise.

xxxxxWelcome to Wonderlandxxxxx

"Kiisa! Leave the poor shadow alone!" Amaya reprimanded her best friend for the 50th time that day. It may have just been a hologram, but that didn't mean that poking it was nice.

"But it's so cute!" Kiisa squealed and attempted to hug it.

"Fine, whatever," Amaya sighed and turned to the nearest map. "Where's Wonderland?" Now, normally you wouldn't expect a map to talk to you, so it wasn't surprising when it didn't answer. Muttering under her breath, Amaya located Wonderland on her own. They needed to go left.

"Left! Kiisa, I told you we needed to go left! But no, you went right and got us lost in Agrabah!" Amaya fumed. Kiisa continued to simply attempt to hug the shadow, successfully ignoring her friend's annoyance. "Because of you we've been wandering for hours in every world except Wonderland!"

"We missed Halloween Town and the World That Never Was," Kiisa shrugged.

"Not like you didn't like seeing Sephiroth in Hollow Bastion."

"That has nothing to do with you getting us lost!"

"Hmmm…right. So why are we meeting your uncle in Wonderland again?"

"He's one of the guys who run the park and offered us jobs here for the summer, remember?"

"Oh! Hey, look! It's one of those mushroom thingys!" Kiisa grinned and ran off, chasing the rare, white heartless. Amaya sighed; at least she was going the right way this time.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

They were finally in Wonderland, Kiisa having chased the mushroom all the way to the Mad Tea House. Amaya let out a sigh of relief; someone has decided to take pity on her.

"You're late!" a laughing voice called out. Amaya winced and turned guiltily towards the voice. Even though they had come two hours early since she had expected something to distract her and her companion they were still a good half-hour late. Her uncle stood in front of the Tea House with his arms crossed and a smirk across his face. A large green top hat sat perched oddly atop his head and a blue bow tie and yellow jacket served to further his Mad Hatter appearance.

"Uncle? You're the Hatter?" Amaya asked, slightly confused. She had expected him to be one of those people who sat in an office, not wandering around the park as a character. He was an Imangineer, for crying out loud.

"Uncle? Well, if I'm your uncle then you're aunt is the Queen of Hearts. Wouldn't that be fun? Now, time's a-wasting, Aya. It's an unbirthday and we celebrate with tea! Come in! Come in!" And with that, he strode into the building.

"Your uncle's cool," Kiisa grinned.

"Thanks?"

"So, let's go in," Kiisa turned around and skipped lightly into the building, oblivious to the eyes staring at her from the nearest tree. Amaya wasn't so unaware.

"Hologram?" She asked.

"Hmmm…maybe, maybe not," it replied. "You're mad if you go in there."

"And pray tell, why?" Amaya grinned. It was the Cheshire cat, her favorite Alice in Wonderland character.

"Why? The Mad Hatter's in there. He's mad you know, mad as the March Hare. He's in there too," the cat replied.

"And if I am mad?" Amaya questioned.

"Going in there would be sane. Thus, you shouldn't go in. It's a bad idea both ways. I'd go to the queen, Alice left and she wants to play croquet. She'll get mad if she doesn't play and then she'll come here."

"You're actually making sense…"Amaya laughed. It talked in circles, but it had made an interesting paradox of her going into the Tea House.

"I am? Oh dear," the cat grinned and vanished. Shaking her head, Amaya passed through the doorway and instantly understood what the cat had meant. The room was filled with little, round tables where a crowd of girls sat and sipped cups of tea. Kiisa happened to be sitting at a table near the back with another blonde and the two were chatting happily. Noticing Amaya, Kiisa waved and motioned to come and sit down. Weaving through the hazards, she reached the table and was about to sit when her uncle walked in out of nowhere and jumped onto their table.

"Morning girls! Today we add two new waitresses to the ranks! Meet Amaya and Kiisa! Now I leave you to explain their jobs." Once that was said, he hopped off the table and left. Silence reigned for a moment and then the room burst into sound as all the girls bombarded them with questions.

"Ack! One at a time!" Kiisa yelled, waving her arms wildly as she panicked. Sheepishly, the other girls quieted and repeated their questions.

"What pairings do you support?" A red-head to their left called out.

"My OTP is SephirothCloud. However, I enjoy reading Zemyx, AkuRoku, AkuDemu, Soriku, XemSaïx, LeonCloud, MarluxiaXaldin, XalXig, MarluxiaVexen, Ximyx, and LuxDem for KH yaoi. As for het pairings, I like: Marlene, SoraKairi, RoxasNamine, and non-Mary Sue OCs," Amaya rattled off. Most of her new co-workers nodded happily and turned their attention to Kiisa.

"Minus the Ximyx and LuxDem, it's the same list," Kiisa shrugged. A few glares were set her way for taking out a set of popular pairings, but she brushed them off.

"Do you have FFN and Deviant Art accounts?"

"Yes, both are under Key of Ra," Amaya shrugged. "I don't have anything uploaded on my DA, though."

"FreakyBlondeHair," Kiisa smiled.

"Favorite World?"

"Um, The World That Never Was and Hollow Bastion tie for that," Amaya blinked, startled.

"The World That Never Was," Kiisa laughed.

"Which Org member's your fave?"

"Zexion," Amaya answered without hesitation right as Kiisa said: "Demyx."

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Ok, this is getting ridiculous," Amaya scowled. They had been answering random questions for the better part of an hour. "Will someone please tell us what our job is here? I might not know exactly what we're getting paid for, but it's not likely to be answering personal questions."

"You're waitresses!" a girl laughed.

"You're going to kidnap our publicity!" another added.

"What?" Amaya asked.

"You two are going to kidnap the bishies to come to our tea parties! So far we've had people alternate out the job, but that's what you two were hired for! Didn't you know what the job was when you took it?" the second girl grinned.

"Nope!" Kiisa replied happily.

"Good. Neither did we. Welcome to the Mad Tea House!"

Ok, if you liked it, Kiisa and I would appreciate it if you review. AKA, push the little blue button or the next chapter will be your last (seeing as how Kiisa's already writing it). Unlike her, I have no problem holding the third chapter hostage for a minimum of 5 reviews.