This totally was made after thinking of stupid pairings. It started with NessxLucas, then went to MOTHER 3's own Rope SnakexDusterxAfro Wig (OT3 lulz) and then went on to Brawl's NEW OTP. Because Lucas and Rope Snake are TOTALLY making out behind the scenes.
Also guys? Stop writing about Lucas now. Go play MOTHER 3. I don't CARE if you can't read Japanese. Swear to god, you'll know more than you do now, even if you can't read what they say. So stop. Stop now. Stop writing for Lucas and Ness and go play MOTHER 2 and 3, and then play MOTHER 1 just for the hell of it. GO. NOW.
And then once you're done playing them, you can read this testament to peoples' inability to know anything about the games and just make crap up.
READ ON!
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Once upon a time, in an inexplicable hole in the ground, Rope Snake, the adorable red snake that was a rope with snake characteristics, was crying deeply. There was something horrible that happened. Duster, his best love, who went on all sorts of adventures with him (because if you adventure with someone, it MUST be truu wuff TM) had just called the snake up, dumping him on the spot. But OMFG who could ever replace the red rope with snake characteristics?
Why, it was Duster's Afro Wig! "That WHORE!" Rope Snake hissed to himself when he found out about Duster's secret affair with the sensually bulbous wig. And so, after hearing the news, the red Rope Snake sobbed loudly, cursed their love and their future children, and slithered off to hide away from the rest of the world. "Oh Duster! You were my best love! I did my best to please you in every way, and yet that… that HUSSIE still stole you away?" The snake sobbed and cried and sniffled, "I might as well just rot here in this hole like an earthworm! That's all I'm good for is plowing the dirt! No! I'm LOWER than dirt!"
And so the Rope Snake continued to bemoan his fate; he would have cut himself if he had arms, because he was just SO SAD. I mean, he was SO sad that if you didn't immediately feel sorry for the snake, you're probably the afro wig whore's BEST FRIEND. ADMIT IT.
It was like, why would Duster ever do something so mean and heartbreaking? Rope Snake thought he was kind and sweet and doting and masculine! "I guess I was wrong about him…" The rope with snake characteristics wept.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door of the hole! Rope Snake didn't want to hear another word from Duster and his hussy wig, so he shouted at whoever it was, "Go away! I am too busy bemoaning my fate because I lost to a WIG at love!!"
"Oh… well then, I suppose I'll go…" But Rope Snake wasn't expecting… HIM to come! He was the most Kawaii person on the island! His name was Lucas except you pronounce it LUKA because I read the KATAKANA. I'm SO much more Japanese than you guys, so bow to my inherent awesomeness!!
"Eh? Lucas?" Rope Snake asked, looking up to the top of the hole, "Is that you?"
"Well, yeah, it is a little…" Lucas replied with a shrug. Rope Snake slithered silently out of his hole and met with Lucas, "I heard what happened between you and Duster."
"You did?" Rope Snake sobbed, "Why could you ever want to look at me? A wig took my true love. I will never be a whole snake, never!"
Lucas looked away, "I… I do want to look at you…" he said, "Because… because Rope Snake… I love you…"
Rope Snake was amazed! Lucas, in love with him? How could it be? That kid had so much ahead of him, why settle for someone as lowly as Rope Snake!? He knew that Kumatora was SO in love with him that she died her hair brown and dressed in a dress and makeup so he'd be attracted to her, but apparently it was to no avail. Lucas was so totally gay, it was obvious now. Now they were going to make out.
So they did.
"Oh, Rope Snake," Lucas said, rubbing the snake's spine as he playfully licked his lover's forked tongue, "That was so sexy. Every moment I look at you I want to make you mine even more." The child then had an idea, "I know! We can run away together! I'm going to a tournament to fight people and kick their butts. You wanna come with me?"
"Would I?" Rope Snake proclaimed, "It'll just be the two of us, with the power of LOVE to back us up! No one can defeat the power of LOVE!" LOL just like PK LOVE!
So the two went off together and joined the brawl and totally kicked everyone's ass, because they had the POWER OF LUFF on their side, and NO ONE can defeat the power of TRUU WUFF.
Everyone saw how kawaii the two were and totally said they should be like the rulers of Subspace, and when Duster tried to enlist because he was awesome, everyone laughed at him and ripped up his wig. Then they told him to never pick on the kawaii Rope Snake again, because he wasn't kawaii and Rope Snake was.
So Rope Snake and Lucas lived happily ever after, and mean ol' Duster was forever defeated and had to be with Kumatora who wasn't pretty because dresses are UGLY.
The End
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And all is right in the world! The Kawaii defeats the nonkawaii and two people are able to make out OOCly! What could be more KAWAII!?
Swear to god, I want to shoot myself in the face. You'd do well to wash your eyes in brine after this. Just saying.