A/N: What am I doing posting angst? Right? I know. Blame my muse, Athena, who woke me up at ten this morning demanding that I write this. Those who know me through reading my author notes from my other stories or PM-ing me know that I really try to avoid season 8 stuff...however, Athena's bossy.

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of CSI or its characters.

She walked back into the living room. Not feeling anything, just going through the motions.

Earlier, she had done the second hardest thing in her life –leaving the lab. Leaving Gil with just a letter, knowing she couldn't face him when she said goodbye.

She stopped when she saw the suitcases at the door. Her suitcases.

She had just finished going through the house one last time. Their house they had purchased together. To see if she was leaving anything behind that she would want. Though she already knew that the one thing she wanted –she needed –was the one thing she would have to leave behind. It was the one thing she couldn't take.

Walking to a chair in the living room, she sank down into its cushion. Hugging her knees to her chest. Holding a hand to her forehead as she began to break down in gut wrenching sobs that shook her slender frame.

The image she made was so reminiscent of an earlier time. Just a different house. A different chair.

Only this time there wouldn't be a hand to reach out to take hers in his. To lightly squeeze hers while she cried and let the buildup of emotions run through her. This time there wouldn't be an arm drawing her near, pressing her into his chest. Making her feel safe, secure, loved. This time there wouldn't be a hand brushing softly through her hair while whispered words of comfort flowed gently into her ears. This time there wouldn't be a kiss pressed to the top of her head and the promise of something more. Something beautiful.

No. This time there was none of that.

This time around she was alone.

Rising from her seat, she began wiping the tears away and began composing herself.

She was going to have to be strong. She was going to have to find her inner strength again. She was going to have to find her courage to walk out that door and leave everything good in her life behind. To leave the only home she had ever known. To leave the only love she had ever known.

She was going to have to do that in order to face her demons. Her ghosts of her past. Those things that continued to haunt her. Those things that managed to slip in through the cracks of her defenses during even the happiest of times. Those things that continued to bring her down no matter how hard she fought against them.

She knew she couldn't truly go forward until she went backward. Until she dealt with her past.

She was going to have to do it by herself.

She knew he would come with her –no hesitation –if she asked. Just like she knew he would understand and accept her need to do this alone.

This time around.

This time around she would figure things out once and for all. She would finally come to terms with her past. She would find herself again because somewhere along the line she realized that she had lost sight of who she was and who she wanted to be.

This time around.

This time around was going to be the last time. Because once she came back home –to Vegas, to Gil –she wasn't leaving again.

Walking to the door, she paused briefly and looked around one last time. Taking a deep breath, she picked up her suitcases and her belongings and walked out the door.

A/N2: I know there's been a multitude of post GBGL fics, and I know that this short ficlet probably dims in comparison to many of them. Nonetheless, I do truly hope that you didn't find that by reading this story it was a waste of your time. Reviews are greatly appreciated.