Waaaahhh... I'm so sad that Kaoru is getting hurt in this...

Warning: Future abuse will probably get even more brutal... so uh... It's just a warning.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hikaru OR Kaoru. I wish I did.

For you

Chapter 1: Take the hit

"Hika—" I stop knowing the act, the happiness, everything that once existed in our room along with the outside is gone. "How was school today? I saw you spacing out during class today." It probably was to figure out what type of game we were going to play today.

"Move." Hikaru said walking in front of me. I obey, as I should, I know that you love me, and in return for that love all I have to do is obey. It is something I can do. It is something I take joy in doing.

Or should I say I once did.

I know that now it's just not the same. I also know that the only reason why I believe what I believe is that I know you.

Or so I think.

I always knew you. I knew your every move and every word, without hearing you or watching you I knew you. I knew your emotions before you showed them. I knew everything.

Now it's different.

A hand slaps me away, "I said move."

There is no protesting saying, "But I did!" Even if I did I know you need an excuse to do what you are about to do. The truth isn't a good enough excuse; I can give you one even if I know it isn't true. No one slowly kills a person because they don't move.

Is that what you have been doing? Slowly killing me? The thought never occurred to me before. I know that you love me. That's why you would never kill me. Or is it because you love me that you kill me?

Maybe it was that time long ago when we said…

Till death do we part.

Maybe that was what it was. Maybe.

Till death do we part, till death do we change, till death are we twins? I wanted to be everything like you. It was a wish, a simple wish for us. We were twins. We still are, but only by birth.

Maybe it was the three minutes that cursed us. Because I remember that day on exactly 3:00 pm you struck me. You cut me. You hurt me.

Slap.

Kick.

"I hate you."

Another slap.

Another kick.

"I despise you."

I took the hits. I took the kicks. But what I could not take was the hate. I couldn't take it; maybe that's what started to unravel me.

Maybe.

The next day was what hurt the most, the whole night was filled with hits and kicks and hate. The bruises, the cuts, the gashes all set me apart from you.

I cannot be set apart from you

Till death do we part.

Till death do we part, till death do we change, till death are we twins?

Twins. Twins. Twins. We knew that world well, and as a result we were interchangeable. Identical. Equivalent.

The same.

I wanted to tell the truth. They were our friends, the host club. Where our brotherly love act still existed.

Above our friends I loved you more.

"I was having a bad day yesterday, between cutting vegetables, falling down the stairs, running into walls."

We were having a beach cosplay that day.

"I don't think I should go around in only swimming shorts, my stomach kind of hurts, I think I might get a cold if I get cold."

You went on with out me. Even if the brotherly love act couldn't exist without me. You went on.

"Just leave him, if he doesn't want a cold there's no need to push him."

The host club looked in awe, they had expected the words, "Okay then, I'll stay with Kaoru today."

Or.

"I'll take him home then I guess, I don't feel so well either."

Either way, we always said something that could keep us together.

Later that day a girl spilled drinks on me.

"Kao-chan! I'm so sorry!"

You come over, I expected a cold response, but instead you came down and licked the drink off my lips. "Kaoru. Are you okay?"

Is that what people mean by manipulation. After all manipulation is what hurts most. How can you even continue to act? The faked passion, the faked concern. Doesn't it make you feel like screaming just listening to it? Let alone saying it.

It was all fake.

The shower turns off, I never heard you go in. But I guess you're done.

You stare at me; there is no love there. There is nothing.

Where has all the love in this world gone?

Where has all the love in our world gone?

I see your fist come into my stomach first and I stay silent. I refuse to cry out. You're not hurting me. You wouldn't.

Because I know the love in our world hasn't gone.

Another hit to my side, I know you love me

A kick, I know you do.

Teardrops, from me, why are they falling? There is nothing to be sad about. You still love me.

I know you do.

And that's all that matters, and will ever matter.

I keep silent even as the pain runs through me, and soon there aren't only hits. There are cuts. I know tomorrow what my leg will say, and that I will once again make excuses to protect you.

Protect you from what?

My love will always protect you.

Soon I've reached my limit, I've had enough. So have you. But you keep going.

Is that how much you hate me?

Or is that how much you love me?

It keeps going, but I will not cry.

Because Hikaru, for you…

I will take the hit.

Wahhh! Why is Kaoru doing this to himself?

Just for everyone to know, this story makes me so sad to write. Yet I'm bipolar enough to write it. Especially since I love Kaoru the most. I think maybe that's why he's the one who gets abused... I don't know.

-Shiku