Oh, my, god

Have pity. This was a truly pop-up storyline. Most spelling/grammar errors are intentional. Even if they aren't, I'll still say they are, just this once…

Disclaimer Firewall: I own nothing and I make no money off of any of it. B)

Enjoy

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

"Hey Glen? Are you ready yet?"

"Yeah, Sam. Keep your pants on! I'm just hookin' up the speakers… there! Ready to go! You guys are gonna LOVE this! I have about 500 songs so far! This is a piece of America right here!"

"Uh, isn't Karaoke Japanese, or something?"

"SHHH! Sam! You're messing with his Chai here."

"Chi, Miles"

"Whatever."

"Ok, who's gonna be first?"

"I am! (Hic!)"

"Ironhide… are you feeling ok?"

"Leave me alone you weed-whacker. I feel (Hic!) great! Just changed my fuel filter. WHOOPS! Sorry, Bee. (Hic!) Lennox had one of these at the base and I wanted to try one! Just a minute, here… you HAVE to have this song… I hear it's not possible to have one of these and not have it… it's like Ratchet over there without his overgrown lawn equipment kit… hehehe (Hic!)… weed-whacker… (grumble)… THERE!"

"Uh, guys… is this a good idea to let him do this?"

"Do YOU want to be the one to tell him no?"

"Good point. …Oh, no! Tell me this is NOT what I think it is!"

"You are the MECH, 'Hide" YOU. ARE. THE. MECH!"

Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her trunk.
It is so big. scoff she looks like,
One of Ironhide's girlfriends.
But, y'know, who understands that Ironhide? scoff
He only breaks with her, because,
She looks like a total garbage truck, kay?
I mean, her trunk, is just so big. scoff
I can't believe it's just so shiny, it's like,

she waxes it or something! Gawd! It's like

out there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... jacked!

(Ironhide)
"I like big afts and I can not lie
You Autobots can't deny
That when a femme walks in with an itty bitty waist
And her pinstripe in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull up tough
cause you notice that trunk was stuffed
Deep in the pearl she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And test your hitch, ya!
My bot-boys tried to warn me
But with that fin you got makes me so horny
Ooh, bumper-smooth-fin
You say you wanna get in my benz?
Well, use me, lube me
cause you ain't that average groupie
I've seen them waxin
The hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat paints are the thing
Take the average black van and ask him that
She gotta pack much aft
So, fellas! (yeah!) fellas! (yeah!)
Has your femme-bot got the strut? (Hell yeah!)
Tell em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake them healthy struts!
Baby got aft!

(LA paint with Oakland rims)
Baby. Got. Aft!

2 ton towing capacity?

Only if she's runnin' on 16"rims! Ha-HA!

Ironhide
I like em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just cant help myself, I'm revin' like an animal
Now here's my handle
I wanna' get you home
And ugh, rev-it-up, ugh, ugh!
I ain't talkin' bout Car Fancy
cause silicone parts are made for toys
So come on work that chassis
Rub that leather supple
Oh, Ironhides in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that aft
So I'm lookin at rock videos
Watchin' bimbos rollin' like back-hoes
You can have them bimbos
Ill keep my femmes like flo jo
A word to the thick soul roadster, I just wanna go tow ya
I wont flood or dent ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna jack
Til the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of jeeps wont like this song
cause them punks like to gunn it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the tow chain on
So, femmes! yeah! Femmes! yeah
If you wanna role in my Mercedes yeah!
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even cop cars got ta' shout
Baby got aft!"

"Thank you. Thank you very much. (Hic!) I'll be out on the shooting range if you all want an encore."

"…did I just see what I thought I saw?"

"…and heard."

"…Ratchet, have you checked for…?"

"I'm several steps ahead of you, Sam. We're all clean."

"…"

"Then…"

"I have no idea…"

Hey, guys! Have you all seen Ironhide anywhere? I need to know where he stored the rest of the bottles of Liquid Heat. I was going to send a bottle with… what are all staring at anyway?"

"Uh… haven't seen him, Mikaela"

"Nope!"

"Not all day!"

"We have NO idea where he's at!"

"Uh, ok. Thanks anyway guys. Let him know I'm looking for him if you see him?"

"Sure thing!"

"We are SO gonna die if he remembers this."

"I didn't see anything, did you?"

"No way!"

"Nothings gone on ALL day!"

"Ok. Good."

"…"

"Who's up for Halo?"

"I'm in!"

"Yup!"

"Sounds good!"