Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. If I did, Byakuya would be a stick figure with macaroni noodles on his head, because I can't draw.

Anyway, this marks my first Bleach oneshot! I put it down as Bya/Ruki, but it's also very strong a Bya/Hisa too. This also marks the longest thing I've ever typed in one go.

And Byakuya...can't read other people's emotions at all...that's the stance I took when I wrote this, anyway. He can't distinguish different types of love. But you can interpret it however you want.

Anyway, please treat it kindly...

That day...ever since that day...a corner of his mind had been crying out in protest.

Since the day he had heard Rukia's sentence--death.

He wasn't sure how to react to this. It seemed almost unbelievable. But a part of him confirmed the terrible news...

...this was really going to happen.

Rukia. The one whom Hisana had asked him to protect...to regard as his own sister...in less than a month's time, she would be dead. Dead. Dead like Hisana.

There had been nothing he could do. His beloved Hisana had slipped through his fingers. It hadn't at all been sudden or unexpected. It had been like trying to hold water in his hands...it kept slipping through, little by little, no matter how hard he tried to stop it, until it had completely drained away and was gone...forever.

But then...the first time he'd seen that girl...it was like seeing Hisana again, even though he knew it was someone different. Hisana had been stolen from him...but Rukia was of her blood. Hisana was completely gone from this world. There was no bringing her back...no matter how much he wished for it. All he had left was pictures and his own memories of happier times...but he began to grow afraid that even those were fading. When he reflected, he was afraid that he wasn't remembering things exactly how they'd been. That details were changing every time he thought about it. That he couldn't remember her exact features, her voice, her movements. As more time passed he began to worry deeply...that his beloved Hisana might fade away.

But Rukia...Rukia ensured that Hisana didn't disappear. Hisana had existed. She'd been real. She'd been with him. Even though traces of her were gone now...her image still existed in a younger sister he'd found by chance.

At first, he wanted to keep her near him because she reminded him of Hisana, nothing more. But over time, he began to realize...began to understand...that Rukia and Hisana were not the same. Hisana had slipped through his fingers...but Rukia was here, she was alive. She was a second chance. He wouldn't lose this one as well. He had lost his parents. He had lost his wife. Everyone he cared for seemed to end up dead. Here he was, the powerful and mighty Byakuya Kuchiki, incapable of even protecting those most precious to him. He could certainly protect himself...but not anyone else!

He had been granted great and wonderful gifts...but they were useless. Death mocked his power...by proving how powerless he really was.

That's why he decided to tell Rukia the news himself. It would, at least, seem to give him some control over the situation. Besides, it would probably be easier on her if he did this. And easier on himself. If he told her himself...stated the sentence like an unchangeable fact...then he would be better prepared to gather his resolve and brace himself for her passing. And if she saw that he could accept her death, then perhaps it would be easier for her to accept it as well.

He wasn't terribly restless when he slept at night. He was alone in that big house...but it wasn't like it was the first time. His room had felt way too big since Hisana had died. He wasn't sure how he had ever slept by himself in this room before. It seemed much too big to him. It was much more space than he needed. It all felt...empty. Like there was something missing.

Without Hisana, everything was empty. It was too much for him. Too empty. He didn't even like to come home. The overwhelming emptiness felt like it might smother him. In the big empty place...he felt very small.

He wasn't even going to try to say that Rukia had immediately dispelled that feeling. But whenever she had come to his house...something had changed. Little by little...things changed. It was so subtle, so gradual, that Byakuya himself barely noticed it. But as more time passed, it seemed to become clearer to him...that there was definitely another presence in this house. There was this other person. Rukia. It wasn't just him. She was here...and he began to feel her presence everywhere. Hisana had returned to him...but not in the form he'd expected.

But then Kaien Shiba died, and she changed.

He knew that look. That sad smile. That person, trying so hard to be happy...it was as though Hisana's ghost had returned from the grave. The sad smile...of a person trying to mask her feelings behind a facade of happiness...even as she was tearing herself apart with blame.

Hisana had searched for Rukia ever since he'd known her. The guilt of abandoning her baby sister was a cross Hisana had to bear...even though Byakuya had tried to help her. That was all he'd wanted. To help her bear her burden...so that her sad smile could be replaced by one of true happiness. She'd wanted to find Rukia...but could it be that she was so wracked by guilt that the thought of someday facing the person she'd abandoned would be too much to bear? Could it have drained her will to live? Was that why she'd left the task to him?

And here, again...that sad smile again...he knew it. He saw Hisana in Rukia...and he didn't want her to go down the same road. He wanted to help her bear the cross on her shoulders. He wanted to help alleviate her guilt. To get rid of her pain. But he couldn't. He wasn't sure how. He wasn't sure how to reach out to her..."bonding" had never been one of his strong suits.

Then she'd vanished without a trace in the world of the living, and without warning, she was gone and he was alone again. Again, he'd let someone slip through his fingers.

So, of course, it had brought his unspeakable relief when he heard that she had been found.

And that feeling had immediately disappeared when he found out she'd given her powers to a human and that he and Renji were to be the ones to arrest her and bring her back to the Soul Society.

Giving her powers to a human...never in a thousand years would he have imagined that she would do such a thing. What had she been thinking?

It puzzled him even more that she would try to protect the human. Why? He was just a human. It would just make things harder for her. So...why?

It completely stunned him when he saw her crying for the human Ichigo Kurosaki. It took him completely by surprise. For half a century she had lived with him, and she'd never once cried in front of him. So why? Why would she give in and cry to this boy...when she'd never done so for Byakuya? What was it about this boy? He was just a human, right? So how? How had he touched her when Byakuya could not? What was Byakuya doing wrong that this kid was doing right?!

In some unexplainable way...he had failed Rukia. Kurosaki had helped her...when Byakuya had failed to. Had it been this way with Hisana, too? Had he...failed to be there for her when she needed? Had she been nursing her wounds, alone, and he couldn't see?

What was he doing wrong?!

It stung at his pride. He wanted to wipe out the little brat, then and there, but Rukia...Rukia had stayed him, pleaded with him, crying...why?! She was so upset...

So he spared the kid.

But then Ichigo Kurosaki had come storming back into Byakuya's life, vowing to rescue Rukia. Why? Her fate was sealed. Rukia...would be another who slipped through his fingers. She was going to die, and there was nothing Byakuya could do. But Kurosaki had come from the world of the living...to rescue Rukia or die trying. Why? Why was he trying to defy fate? What would it accomplish?

She was going to die, no matter what, but if her resolve crumbled--by having the prospect of something like a rescue dangled before her eyes--it would be pure agony for her...and for him, as well. It would be hard enough to let her go...but if he knew that she desperately wanted to cling to life...

That would be torture.

He must have visited Hisana's grave almost every day. He had made a promise to her...to protect Rukia...but...there was nothing he could do! Rukia was going to die, and he couldn't do anything to stop it! He was completely powerless! His final promise, the final vestige of Hisana he had...would be destroyed forever at the Sokyoku!

Then came the day of reckoning. He stood before Hisana's picture a long time. He had promised...he had promised! He had loved Hisana, and he had promised with his whole heart that he would protect her little sister! It was the one request she had made...her last, final wish, to find Rukia...and protect her! He'd promised!!

He...couldn't keep his promise. It was through no fault of his that Rukia had been sentenced to die, but he couldn't help but feel that he'd betrayed Hisana.

He was debating whether or not he should even go. He wasn't even sure he could stand to watch. But...he knew what it was like to be alone...and death was a scary thing to face by yourself, surrounded by hostile faces...if his being there could bring her some sort of comfort, some sort of peace before she died...then that would be reason enough to go.

And so he went.

But he was stopped along the way, challenged by one of his own subordinates. Renji was definitely...different. He had a determination, a ferocity...

...that reminded Byakuya of Ichigo Kurosaki.

But why? Byakuya didn't understand. What was the point in trying? She was going to die...she was on her way to the execution grounds even then...why bother even trying? Death had a noose around her neck, and there was nothing anyone could do! Byakuya had tried to fight death before...to convince himself it wasn't happening...and it had accomplished nothing! It had done nothing but bring him even greater pain.

Why? Why were they trying?

Why?

The thought that Rukia might actually be saved threatened to make his resolve crumble completely. He almost began to believe that Rukia's life might not end this day. What were these thoughts he was thinking? How, after trying to turn his heart to ice and steel himself for this event ever since he'd learned of it, could Renji's words, feelings, determination, reach him?

Byakuya wasted no time leaving. He had to get away from there...because if he himself began to have second thoughts...

You promised.

But...

I'm sorry, Hisana. There are other promises I've made.

He had vowed to uphold the law. If he didn't, who would? As the head of the Kuchiki family, the burden of upholding the honor of the entire family fell primarily on his shoulders. If he couldn't do so, who could? It's not like attempting to rescue her would accomplish anything, and it would serve to disgrace him at the same time. That would break both of his promises at once!

He saw the look on her face as she watched him enter the execution ground. She...didn't look filled with resolve. The execution was upon her, and yet...

He had to give her some resolve. He had to give her some strength...if she went kicking and screaming...

No, she was too classy for that. But still.

She was looking at him. How he reacted would determine how gracefully she went to her death. He had to show resolve. Then, maybe...she could have resolve herself.

He averted his eyes. If she looked into his eyes, he was afraid that she just might see past him...and sense the great pain and loneliness he would feel with her passing. He didn't want those feelings to reach her. He didn't want her to be worried in her final moments. He wanted her to die with her heart at peace...just as Hisana had not been able to.

He looked away as the Sokyoku was released. If he saw the actual death...

No. He didn't want to remember her dying. When he remembered her, he wanted it to be the way she'd been in life.

Hisana...I'm so sorry. Forgive me.

But something happened. Ichigo Kurosaki had come back. Again. In the nick of time...he had saved Rukia. The Sokyoku was destroyed. Rukia was rescued...with the help of a couple of captains and Renji, of course.

Byakuya wasn't surprised at Renji's involvement (though he did wonder how his wounds had healed), but that two captains would do this...why? What did they have to gain? Why were they risking everything?

Ichigo. Ichigo Kurosaki. He had done this. He had inspired even Byakuya's fellow captains to fight for this futile cause. Why? Why were they doing this to her? The verdict had been passed...so it was going to get fulfilled one way or another. If they kept this up...it was only going to be even more crushing for Rukia...

What was it? What was it about Ichigo and Rukia that annoyed him so much? They shared a special relationship...that he and Rukia didn't! It was like he was on the outside looking in. Byakuya loathed it. Why could Ichigo have that sort of special relationship with Rukia but he couldn't? Was it just him? Was there something wrong with him?

He had to know. And that's why he fought Ichigo Kurosaki, without hesitation. He wanted to know...what it was about Ichigo. He had to try to understand!

You could never defeat me in a thousand years.

And yet...

Byakuya tried to convince him that it was futile...but Ichigo wouldn't listen.

Beg her for forgiveness.

Byakuya...would have to beg Rukia for forgiveness? For saying that he would kill her himself if need be...

Why was Kurosaki making this so difficult? Byakuya had thought he was ready for this. He wasn't going to try to delude himself with the hope that Rukia might live. He wasn't going to do that to himself. Not again. He thought he'd accepted her fate...so why couldn't this stupid child accept it as well?! Why did he insist on trying to defy fate?! If he really cared for Rukia, he would let her go peacefully to her death!

He was going to end this...once and for all. Ichigo hated his guts because he wanted to uphold the law...so be it.

But...Senbonzakura wasn't enough. It wasn't enough. He felt pain, on his hand, his torso, his face. He felt unclean, as blood slithered down his face. His kenseikan was shattered, and his dark hair hung limply in his face. How long had it been since he'd been driven this far? And of all people...why this boy? This lousy...ryoka? How could this boy push Byakuya Kuchiki this far?!

Impossible. It was completely impossible. Everything said that Byakuya should win easily. This was impossible...and yet here it was really happening.

Was it really possible...to make the impossible happen? Were miracles possible?

Could it be...that it was really possible...for Rukia's life to be saved?

Impossible.

Truly impossible.

But still, could it...?

Ichigo Kurosaki...he was like that other one...the one who had consumed Rukia's affections before...

Was that why they shared a special bond? Because Rukia felt guilty of the death of Kaien Shiba, and so, through this boy, she might take some of the burden off her shoulders?

Was that what he was to her...a second chance?

But if that was the case, then what was Byakuya to her?

He had to have some idea.

If Ichigo was Rukia's second chance...then she would be Byakuya's. He felt obliged to defend his honor, but...

If he were to break his promise to Hisana, and let Rukia die, when he might be able to save her, wouldn't that be the most dishonorable thing he could possibly do?

Rukia was the one he had sworn to protect, and the upholding of his honor rested on upholding that promise.

He could keep the promises that had been made...if Rukia was saved. She was his honor and his pride. If he let her get killed, without a fight...in that situation, he would truly be unworthy to hold his head with any dignity.

He had been unable to save Hisana from death, no matter how hard he wished for it. He'd been unable to save his parents. He was unable to save anybody. They were stolen from him, one by one...

...but not this time. This time, he just might have the power to save someone. Even if it was just a tiny chance, he wasn't going to let Rukia go without a fight. As long as he could help it, she would live!

You win, Ichigo Kurosaki. I understand now.

...

Byakuya Kuchiki lay in the grass, breathing heavily, his dark hair plastered to his head. His entire body was silently screaming. It felt that with each passing minute, his strength was being drained from him. His head was spinning. He couldn't see straight. He heard voices washing over him.

Is this...the end? Byakuya...you may have gone too far this time...

He remembered Gin Ichimaru's blade slicing through him, and felt a fresh wave of pain. The cuts on his hands made it hurt to even twitch a finger.

Rukia...he'd come just in time...right? Hadn't he? He remembered carrying her, but then...it was vague. It had taken everything he had to perform that final act, still being injured from his fight with Ichigo as he was. She had been saved. That was all that mattered. But then, it seemed, he didn't even have the strength to support his own weight. He felt his knees strike the ground. He couldn't distinguish voices. He couldn't see clearly. It was pain, pain, endless pain...why didn't it end? It seemed like a struggle to keep his own heart beating.

But there was no way. No way was he going to fall to the ground. He would never disgrace himself like that, as long as he had the strength to resist it!

But then he felt someone holding him. Small arms, wrapped around him, clutching him to her as tightly as she could.

...Rukia?

He had come to her. He wasn't going to let her slip through his fingers. Now, it seemed, she was trying to hold him as tightly as possible, to keep him from slipping away.

She...even after his callous attitude...she still loved him? She still would try to protect him, even knowing she couldn't?

He wanted her to know that he felt that same way. He wanted her to have some idea. He was understanding her better now. He wanted to help her understand him.

So he told her everything. He told her the things he had never before told anyone. About Hisana. About his promises.

But he didn't tell her how, in the end, it seemed he could uphold both promises. Rukia was still with him. He wasn't sure how long, but it didn't matter. And his honor was more than intact.

He thought he could see her sitting there, next to him, but he wasn't sure. Dressed in white like that, he could swear he was seeing Hisana. Hisana, whom he hadn't been able to save...no! She slipped away. He reached for her. This time, he wouldn't let her go...! He was going to die soon, so they could go together...!

He felt two hands close around his.

No. Not Hisana. Rukia. It was Rukia. She was still here with him. Hisana was gone, but Rukia was here. Rukia hadn't left him. He'd defied death. He'd protected her.

This person...had not been stolen from him.

This person...had not left him all alone.

Hisana was gone. But Rukia was still here.

She was holding his hand tightly between hers.

Rukia...if it will keep you here with me...then I swear to you, as I swore to Hisana...I will do everything in my power to protect you...so that you can stay with me. And likewise, I will fight death will all of my strength...so that you won't have to feel the pain of being left behind. The only ones we have are each other...and as long as I am alive, I will protect you.

"Rukia..."

I will protect and defend you, my honor and my pride.

"...forgive me."

I promise.