Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Boondock Saints belongs to Franchise Pictures or somebody.

Introductions

The church was cold in the church this Sunday morning. The weather had been good the previous day, but Konoha was a finicky city with its weather. The sun was shining brightly today though, as shown by the few strips of light scattered across the floor. But most of the light in the church was given off by the lights focused around the nave, giving a peaceful appearance to the cruciform.

Moegi was sulking however. She most certainly did not want to be here, especially while Konohamaru and Udon were out playing. The small slits of sunlight on the floor only annoyed her further, provoking her with their invitations of warmth, and the knowledge that if she could feel that warmth, it would mean she was outside instead of here, in this cold sanctuary.

She didn't get why she couldn't skip a service or two every once in a while. Especially when the church was this cold! If she could stay home during the cold days, she swore she'd come in the summer! Every Sunday! Well, most of them.

She looked around the church, desperately trying to find a distraction that would drown out the monotone voice of the guest speaker. Some Father Subaku, or something like that, from some other town. Moegi thought he looked scary, and his eyes made him look mean.

As she looked around, she found something interesting to look at, and surprisingly, it was right next to her. More specifically, they were.

Sitting next to her family were two young men, both in deep prayer, clutching two small cruciform necklaces in their hands. Moegi knew that church was a place for prayer, but she'd never seen anyone taking it so seriously before.

The man closest to her had black hair, pointed in the back and hanging to the sides of his face in the front. It reminded her of the black duck she had seen in the park yesterday. Maybe it was more like a cockatoo though. Or a chicken? It was definitely weird though. With his eyes closed, he looked like he was annoyed at something, with his brows furrowed. Moegi wondered if they were always like that.

The further man looked less agitated than the closer man though. He was shorter than the black-haired man, but had short blonde hair spiking out in every direction. His face seemed to have a softer look to it, and he appeared to be calm and relaxed. Moegi's eyes, however, did manage to linger on the man's birthmarks, lines across his face that seemed like the whiskers of a fox.

Moegi jumped as a hand rested on her shoulder. Her mother was glaring at her, and cocked her head toward the nave, a silent command for Moegi to pay attention. Moegi frowned, but cheered up a little when she saw that Father Subaku was walking away from the pulpit toward Father Sarutobi, who was standing up to shake his hand.

She liked Father Sarutobi. Church was boring, but at least she could understand his sermons, and he told some jokes sometimes to lighten the mood. Sometimes, he'd say something only the adults would laugh at, but she was pretty sure he wasn't making fun of the kids or anything.

As Father Sarutobi approached the pulpit, Father Subaku sat down in the seat next to Father Iruka, who smiled and nodded in thanks. Moegi liked him too. He was really nice to the kids in Sunday school. Moegi perked up as Father Sarutobi started talking. Maybe he'd start with a joke. The best ones were always in the first few minutes of the sermon.

"I'd like to thank Father Subaku, for coming all the way across the desert to be our guest speaker today," Father Sarutobi began, gesturing toward the guest priest. "I hope you found our little parish to your liking."

Moegi turned in surprise as the two men next to her that had been praying stood up abruptly and scooted past her family toward the isle. Were they leaving already? Maybe they didn't like Father Sarutobi's sermons. But Moegi's look of surprise quickly changed to a look of confusion as, rather than walk to the exit, the two men approached the front.

She saw movement behind the pulpit, which turned out to be Father Subaku. He looked angry. Moegi didn't blame him. She'd never heard it said before, but she was certain you weren't supposed to walk to the front of the church during a service. But instead of joining Father Subaku, Father Iruka only put his hand on Father Subaku's shoulder and shook his head.

Moegi saw Father Sarutobi sigh as the two men came forward, then began speaking, "I am reminded of this holy day of the sad story of Miss Tsunade. This poor soul cried out time and time again for help but no person answered her calls."

Moegi felt a chill run through her body. This kind of sermon was not normal for Father Sarutobi. This must be a very important sermon. The two men passed the pulpit, without even a slight glance at Father Sarutobi, the two kneeled before the cruciform and the front of the church and continued to pray as Father Sarutobi continued. "Though many saw, not one so much as called the police. Her assailant wiped the bloody knife off on her lifeless little body. They watched as he simply walked away. Nobody wanted to get involved. Nobody wanted to take a stand..."

The men then stood up and began to walk the isle. Moegi half expected them to sit back down next to her family, but they simply walked right past toward the doors. She glanced back to see them standing in the back, turning to listen to the end of Father Sarutobi's story. Moegi turned as well to hear the rest.

Father Sarutobi straightened himself, knowing that all eyes on the church were on him after the two men's display. In the utter silence of the church, Father Sarutobi finally stated his message. "We must fear evil men and deal with them accordingly but what we must truly guard against, what we must fear most is the indifference of good men."

A loud clack and small breeze flowed through the church, and Moegi knew the two men had heard what they needed to, and had left. Moegi leaned forward in the pew. She wanted to hear this sermon. She was glad she had come today, and wondered what knowledge Father Sarutobi would offer to follow his story of Miss Tsunade.

The two men stood on the steps of the church for a moment, before the black-haired man pulled a pack of pocky from his pocket and put one in his mouth. He held the box up to the blonde-haired man, who nodded and took one for himself. They stood on the steps for a few seconds, pocky hanging loosely from the corners of their mouths, before the black-haired man spoke up.

"I do believe the Father's finally gotten the point."

"Yep," the blonde-haired man replied, before the two walked down the steps and away from the church.

A/N

For those who haven't figured it out yet, this is most definitely a Naruto version of the movie Boondock Saints. Those who've seen the movie probably already have a good idea on what's going to happen, but I'll leave you free to guess which Naruto characters will play which Saints role.

As for the M rating, I realize this intro has nothing bad in it, but it will get worse, and those that have seen the movie know it.

I couldn't bring myself to let Naruto and Sasuke to smoke. I don't smoke myself, so I don't really know how to describe it. I've never eaten pocky either, but I imagine it can be eaten like I wrote. Also, I just can't imagine either of them smoking.

SO. Short version, later chapters will have blood, guts, swearing, violence, sexism, and lots of adult themes. But, no smoking.

EDIT: Have you ever gone back and looked at stuff you wrote or drew when you were five and thought, 'Wow. This really sucks!' That's what I'm thinking about the first few chapters of this story, and I just wrote it only a month and a half ago! But keep reading! Please! I swear to God it gets better after that!

Also, if you spot any naming or grammar mistakes, write a list in a review, please. I know I sometimes mix up the names from Naruto with the ones from the movie. I can't help it! I've seen the movie about a billion times! I really want to fix all the problems I usually miss, since I don't really have anyone to edit this for me. So please, let me know if I fucked up.