AN: Sadly, I own nothing. Spoiler-free.

Chapter 1: An Eye for an Eye

"Blair, that was fast." Lily van der Woodsen, soon to be Bass, said as the elevator door opened to reveal a disheveled looking Blair Waldorf.

"I came as soon as you called. She's in her room, I assume." Blair said as she shrugged off her light jacket and handed a large brown bag to the maid.

"It's ice cream so it needs to go into the freezer." She explained as she walked up the stairs to Serena's new bedroom in the van der Woodsen-Bass penthouse.

Blair knocked gently on Serena's door, not wanting to frighten her friend.

After a moment Serena sobbed "Come in."

Blair gasped as she opened the door and saw Serena curled into a ball on her lavish bed. Her face was red and tear stained, her hair was a mess, and her clothes looked like they hadn't been changed in days. Blair walked over with her arms wide open and Serena ran into them.

"It's okay, sweetie. It's going to be okay." Blair cooed over and over as she stroked Serena's hair.

Serena sobbed as Blair repeated her mantra, nodding in agreement, though not believing it. Dan was her world. She loved him. He was her first love and she was sure that he would be her only love.

Blair was furious, though she wouldn't show it. How dare that Daniel Humphrey break up with Serena! Who the fuck did he think he was? So she had strayed from her good-girl image, so what? How could he turn his back on her just like that? It was at that precise moment that Blair decided that she hated all men.

Finally, after what seemed like eternity, Serena's tears stopped and she pulled out of Blair's embrace. She shook her head, gave a small smile, and walked to her door.

"Let's go eat, I'm starving." Serena breathed.

"Well it's about time! I thought I was going to pass out. I haven't eaten all day." Blair said with a grin, which Serena returned.

Blair was happy that for the time being, Serena could pull herself together. She would make sure that tonight would be filled with laughing, all of their favorite movies, and cartons of ice cream.

When the two girls returned to the dining room, the main course was being served. At the two heads of the long mahogany table sat Lily and Bart. On one side, Chuck and Eric were deep in conversation and on the other, two place settings were set.

Everyone briefly exchanged pleasantries as Serena slid into the chair across from Eric and Blair hesitantly slid into the chair directly across from Chuck. Under normal circumstances Blair would have made Serena switch seats with her, as she and Chuck were still not speaking, but tonight, Blair decided to suck it up for her friend.

Lily smiled at Blair and Serena and nodded discreetly at Blair. Blair winked at her.

Lily had called Blair earlier, frantic because Serena had not left her room all day. She wouldn't talk to anyone and she refused to eat. Out of sheer desperation she turned to her daughter's best friend in the hopes that she would be able to get through to Serena. She was thrilled to see that Blair had.

The servants quickly brought out food for Serena and Blair and everyone began to eat the filet mignon in silence. Finally, the silence becoming too much, Blair decided to take matters into her own hands.

"So this," Blair began, pointing to her dress, an Eleanor Original, "has officially become the world's most expensive handkerchief." Blair finished.

Everyone except for Bart laughed.

"Sorry." Serena muttered.

"Oh it's okay. I'll just send the dry cleaning bill to Mr. Bass." Blair said with a mischievous grin, looking over to Bart.

Everyone froze and wondered what would happen. Nobody spoke to Bart Bass that way. Usually, Blair would never do such a thing but tonight, she would do whatever it took to keep Serena smiling and to keep her mind away from a certain Brooklyn-ite.

Suddenly, without warning, Bart let out a hearty chuckle. Serena, Eric, and Blair looked shocked that Bart was not offended and was actually capable of laughing. Chuck looked supremely hurt.

"Quiet the sense of humor you've got there, Miss Waldorf." Bart said as he shook his head in amusement.

"Thank you, Mr. Bass." Blair said shyly and shared a disbelieving look with Serena.

After a long pause, Blair continued.

"The one good thing that came from this is now I can finally get my revenge on that back-stabbing little home wrecker." Blair said with a smirk.

"Blair, Jenny has suffered enough as it is. You've already thoroughly embarrassed her and are again at the top of the social ladder. Do you really need to kick her when she's down?" Serena sighed in exasperation.

"Serena, Serena, Serena, my pretty blonde friend. You have so much to learn. Young Jennifer deserves to be destroyed. I held back out of respect to you, but now…" Blair trailed off.

She didn't want to say that now that Serena and Dan were broken up she could seek her revenge because that would defeat the whole purpose of tonight. But if she just alluded to the fact that Serena and Dan were no longer together and made it seem like that was a good thing, Serena might come to believe it too.

"What are you going to do to her?" Serena sighed.

Blair's smirk only grew. Eric observed the ongoing conversation in amusement and Chuck pretended not to care, though he was hanging onto Blair's every word. Bart and Lily seemed not to pay attention.

"You mean what did I do to her." Blair asked.

"Tell us." Eric demanded, unable to hide the excitement in his voice.

"No, I don't think I will. But don't worry, you'll all know soon enough." Blair said smugly.

"Why do you feel the need to get revenge? Can't you just forgive and forget?" Serena asked.

"Serena, have you ever heard the saying 'Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe?'" Blair asked.

"I've heard 'An eye for an eye.'" Serena answered.

"Well do you know where the saying comes from?" Blair asked with a grin.

"No." Serena said and rolled her eyes. Blair ignored her.

"It comes from the Old Testament. Exodus 21:24." Blair explained with her grin still in place.

"Do you know what it means?" Blair continued.

"Why don't you enlighten us?" Serena bit out with sarcasm.

"It means that God says it's okay to get revenge on the people who have wronged you. In fact, he commands it. All my years of holding grudges, plotting to destroy people, avenging people who hurt me and I never knew that I was doing exactly what God wanted me to do." Blair said triumphantly and took a large bite of beef.

"Tastes good." Blair whispered.

Serena shook her head but couldn't help but smile. Blair knew how to manipulate any situation to her advantage.

"Since when do you read the bible?" Eric asked.

"Since I started going to church to repent for my sins." Blair responded.

"The preacher I confess to told me that I might be interested in checking it out, and he was right." She finished.

"Blair, what Jenny did was wrong but she did it because Nate's her friend and she wanted to do the right thing." Serena tried to explain to Blair.

"You are so naïve sometimes. Jenny did not do what she did to help Nate. She used stolen, privileged information, information that was none of her damn business to further her social status and to spite me because I was mean to her." Blair said in a mocking tone.

"Don't you think that Nate had a right to know?" Serena asked.

Blair and Chuck starred at her incredulously. Eric just sat in confusion.

"Nate is a pretty boy. There's no need to fill his head with unpleasant images." Blair said coldly and glanced briefly at Chuck.

"And need I remind you Serena that Jenny did not help Nate, she hurt him. And she ruined three lifelong friendships in the process." Blair said a bit angrily. She didn't appreciate Serena defending Jenny.

"Blair, don't be unreasonable. Jenny may have spilled the beans but the only people to blame are you and Ch-" She was interrupted by Chuck's loud voice.

"That's enough." He said darkly.

Blair was shocked. Why would Chuck defend her? She gave Serena a questioning look and Serena shrugged.

"On a lighter note," Blair said, changing the subject, "what movie will it be? 'Mean Girls,' 'Cruel Intentions,' or 'Breakfast at Tiffany's?'" Blair asked.

"I say 'Cruel Intentions.' There's nothing like a little Ryan Phillippe to cheer a girl up." Serena said brightly.

"I couldn't agree more." Blair said with a smile.

Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. Love is hard to come by in the UES, as our friends B and S have learned. Now that S is heart-broken B is there to pick up the pieces. Unfortunately for her, S is living with the Devil Incarnate. Nothing good can come of a C/B meeting. People will perish. Innocents will get caught in the cross fire. Oh how I wish I could be there. You know you love me. Xoxo, Gossip Girl.

"Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe?" - Old Testament, Exodus 21:24

"Tastes Good." - Cruel Intentions (Movie)

Title: 'Nobody Does it Better' is the title of one of the books in the GG series