Disclaimer: Own only idea
Sequel to "Revelations"
Desperation
It was the matter of trust.
It was surreal, yet it worked somehow.
Until it broke down, changing them both.
An enormous amount of suffer flooded his being.
He wasn't the same anymore.
But big boys don't cry.
They don't show suffer, disappointment, or any other kind of emotion.
During the relationship with his blue eyed boyfriend, he learned that from him.
And now he understood that the mask meant nothing.
It was a mask, not the way of living.
Deep inside, underneath the mask, he was actually decaying.
Part boy part of his being, until he disappeared completely.
Until he found no purpose in anything and was wondering what's the purpose of any existence in this universe or existence of universe himself.
And it surprised him how he had changed in way of thinking, as well.
He had more philosophical approach.
His boyfriend was helping him a lot, making him read books.
His ex boyfriend, right.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
And it was a great mixture, reading books in pauses between doses of hot, passionate sex.
And some events occurred eventually, that their relationship wasn't able to support.
Some painful events that made him understand he loved the boy more than he thought he did.
And he still loves him.
The question is does the brunette still love him.
Had he ever loved Joey.
And Joey is afraid to even think about that question deeply, to recall every situation, that could lead him to possible conclusion.
The painful and defeating fact is you don't know how much you care for someone, how much you love that person, until you lose it.
Joey's just a guy.
He knows where to find comfort.
And we all know how a guy can be comforted.
It's a physical act, no connections with emotions.
Emotions are weakness-somebody told him that once.
--
Kaiba is not looking backward. What is done is done, and there was no way back.
The fact is that he always thought he won't be the one to ruin the relationship, for which existence they had been so desperately fighting for.
And it turned it wasn't even worth fighting for.
A defeating fact that left Joey with a broken heart.
And it turned Kaiba into his previous state.
He became cold hearted and cruel again. Now knowing he was the one to ruin it, he closed and became introverted again.
Kaiba looks at the person beside him.
A beautiful red headed, well built old crush that was referred as his current boyfriend.
Long lasting, he hoped, but actually didn't feel like being with anyone.
The thing he had with Joey was a special experience.
The thing with Alister was something other.
He shrugs, not wanting to think what was done in the past.
It is too much painful.
And he is refusing to accept the condition of his heart, or feeling of guilt.
Terrible, terrible feeling of guilt.
Retrospection
It was their second year of being together.
It was summer, hot, beautiful summer.
"Kiss me…"
Kaiba kissed him.
"Pet me."
Kaiba does so.
"Fuck me."
"Summer indeed makes you mad about sex."
"Seto, you know I'm mad about everything on you…and inside you. You know…the white substance that is so salty I don't need spices in my food at all…And…"
"How dirty mouth you have, Joseph Wheeler!" said Seto, his voice was cheerful.
"That's the way I am, Seto…mad…horny…naughty…" he reached down and rubbed his dick, wanting to harden it.
"It is too hot. Let's go inside."
"It's the same in there."
"We have air condition in there…"
"We don't need it…"
Joey was feeling so hot, swaying like an animal.
He leaned forward to kiss his beloved.
Kaiba was kissing back.
He grabbed blonde's head by his two strong hands, gripping his hair, so their kiss could be deepened.
Joey stood up, pulling Seto so they could leave the balcony and go inside their bedroom.
"I love you, Seto…" Joey whispered while pulling apart, his chest about to implode from flood of emotions.
He found himself breathing heavily.
Seto pulled away from Joey, looking at him surprised.
Joey's eyes were warm and wet, fateful.
He caressed the CEO with his palms, his cheeks, he ran his fingers through his chocolate hair, the color matching his own eyes.
Joey's eyes so sincere, while Kaiba's remained cold and unavailable.
Joey bit his tongue.
It was a bad sing Seto's eyes were hiding something.
Something dark.
Joey has heard the rumors Seto's ex came back to town.
That Alister dickhead.
Joey wasn't that dumb. He knew how much two and two is.
Ever since he heard the rumors, he noticed changes in Seto's behavior.
His arousal disappeared.
Seto knew Joey realized.
"I was stupid, wasn't I? Sacrificing so much for a person that isn't worth it."
Seto wasn't pretending proud.
He lowered his head, in lack of words.
"How long?"
Seto and Joey hadn't had sex for about two months.
It was more than clear to him.
He just refused to consider the obvious facts.
Seto said nothing.
"Just to remind you, you were the one to ask me to wait for you when Ishizu was issue."
"I know." Seto said with his voice lowered.
"Why didn't you tell me you weren't happy with me? Why didn't you brake up with me when you knew there was nothing that could keep us together?"
"I love you, Joey." said Seto for the first time in his life, quietly, but with clearly defined voice. He knew how that may sound. So fake and disgusting. But it was the truth.
Joey just shook his head in disgust.
"I'm packing myself immediately."
"Not leaving me space to explain."
"There's nothing to be explained, Seto. When you find another, it's obvious you feel lack of something in your current relationship. So there's no purpose of being together, since you found a replacement for me."
"It's not like that…" Seto whispered, but he wasn't even sure himself what was going on. He was torn apart between Joey and Alister.
When Alister returned to Domino and showed up at his office, Kaiba was aware that he could finally accomplish his old desire to fuck him.
There had always been chemistry between them.
And there was his puppy, on the other side.
He let him down, betrayed him. Yet he let him go.
And he found the ease for his pain is to forget Joey somehow.
End of retrospection
Kaiba knows somehow that Alister is just a comforter. And Kaiba is so afraid to be alone again, after he allowed himself to lose the only one he loved, just because his cock decided to find a way to Alister's anus.
That's the only reason he's with Alister.
--
"Oh, Keith…" Joey moans. Keith knows how to do a good blowjob. He still cannot believe he ended up with that bandit.
Keith wanted sex and Joey wanted comfort.
That only matters.
No emotions, no obligations.
No emotions means not being hurt anymore.
No tears.
No fear.
Just physical pleasure.
Yet, Joey isn't happy, not at all.
He surround Keith's enormous cock with his mouth.
It's so damn huge!
And he sucks on him, pretending he enjoys.
He fell to the bottom ov all the bottoms.
But distracting his thoughts and mouth with Keith's enormous juicy cock is somewhat better than feeling he is no longer with Kaiba, who he loved, cherished.
"I'll come into you, and you will swallow every drop!" orders Keith.
Yeah, Joey si uke.
Not equal as he used to be when he was with Kaiba, that was known and still is as dominant in everything.
The truth is unbearable.
And Joey will wash it with hot streams of Keith's hot seed.
For a while, but still…
Like the painkillers do when you drink them. Shortly.
--
AN: So depressive, huh? But there will be so many things…(I hope so).
Please r&r! No matter how harsh you will be, just review!