Apologize

Author: Mrs Ronald Weasley

Rating: PG-13 or T

Pairing/s: Edward/Carlisle

Category: Angst/Tragedy

Warnings: Major character death x 2 if you want to get technical

Spoilers: New Moon

Summary: What's the point of living if there's no one to love you?

A/N: My first Edward/Carlisle non-smut fic. It's short, I know, but I had to get the idea out of my head. Please read and review.

"I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you

And I need you like a heart needs a beat, but it's nothing new

I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue, and you say

"Sorry," like the angel heaven let me think was you, but I'm afraid

It's too late to apologize..."

'Apologize' by OneRepublic

"I can make your pain go away, Edward," Carlisle says, taking a step towards me.

"She's dead, Carlisle!" I shout, my grief clawing at me. It threatens to consume every part of my being and as far as I'm concerned at the moment, I wouldn't give a damn if it did. At least then I could feel something.

"I know," he whispers softly, his body now mere inches from mine.

I didn't even try to block it, I couldn't; not pain such as this. Carlisle's own grief for Bella is too much for me to handle. "Stop it!" I grab my head, pulling at my hair as I try to push it away.

Carlisle's hand reaches out and caresses my cheek. Something deep inside me comes alive in that gentle touch, something that I had shoved away many years ago. I raise my eyes to meet his. Please, Edward, Carlisle thinks. And then he leans in slowly to press his lips against mine.

A different ache starts to spread throughout me; Carlisle hasn't kissed me like this in nearly fifty years. I ached for what we had then, what we hadn't had since.

Damn it! The thought suddenly flashes through his mind and he breaks the kiss. I can't do this. Not now, everything's different.

"I'm sorry, Edward," he says. "I can't do this anymore."

The flame of what I had felt; Carlisle's love for me, love that was more than just fatherly love, was suddenly put out. Extinguished in his guilt.

I knew what I had to do. I didn't want to be damned to an eternity in which love didn't exist for me. "You should've let her die," I say. He knows who I mean.

"I couldn't," he replies softly, sympathy in his voice. I love her. "I'm sorry."

You used to love me, I thought. I was beyond sympathy. Things would never go back to the way they were, I knew that now. I had been foolish to think that they could.

"Well, unfortunately you're fifty years too late, Carlisle," I mutter harshly. I was gone before he could reply.